Kids should be shown extreme gentleness and softness - build them up with love and mercy. However softness does not mean, a mother should avoid educating her child on right and wrong. Many children have extremely bad habits, and parents avoid calling them out. The truth is, most parents have very little control over their kids, rather their kids have the most control over their parents. Allowing your children to control you is not a form of love. Many parents give in to their kids unhealthy and harmful demands, just to silence them from throwing tantrums. The habits you instill within your children when they are young will be habits they hold when they are older - do not make it difficult for their adulthood. Their tarbiya is your responsibility. Let it not be, that someone asks them "what did your mother teach you?"
Be upright, stand your ground - and show softness.
Be upright, stand your ground - and show softness.
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Parents Gain from Their Children's Good Deeds, with or without Their Children Intending That
For the most recently edited version of this translation, please see: wp.me/p4lHkd-12e
For the most recently edited version of this translation, please see: wp.me/p4lHkd-12e
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'Aishah (May Allaah be pleased with her) reported:The Prophet (ﷺ) said,
"The two raka'āt before the dawn (Fajr) prayer are better than this world and all it contains."
[Muslim]
Another narration goes: "The two rak'āt before the dawn (Fajr) prayer are dearer to me than the whole world."
*Note: This is done between the Adhaan and the obligatory Fajr prayer
#rawaatib #Fajr
"The two raka'āt before the dawn (Fajr) prayer are better than this world and all it contains."
[Muslim]
Another narration goes: "The two rak'āt before the dawn (Fajr) prayer are dearer to me than the whole world."
*Note: This is done between the Adhaan and the obligatory Fajr prayer
#rawaatib #Fajr
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HADEETH 4 OF THE 40 NAWAWIYAH
▪️Imam Ahmad recorded in his Musnad that Abdullah -- Ibn Mas`ud -- said:
"The Messenger of Allah ﷺ, the Truthful One, told us:
إِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ لَيُجْمَعُ خَلْقُهُ فِي بَطْنِ أُمِّهِ أَرْبَعِينَ يَوْمًا نُطْفَةً ثُمَّ يَكُونُ عَلَقَةً مِثْلَ ذلِكَ ثُمَّ يَكُونُ مُضْغَةً مِثْلَ ذلِكَ ثُمَّ يُرْسَلُ إِلَيْهِ الْمَلَكُ فَيَنْفُخُ فِيهِ الرُّوحَ وَيُوْمَرُ بِأَرْبَعِ كَلِمَاتٍ رِزْقِهِ وَأَجَلِهِ وَعَمَلِهِ وَهَلْ هُوَ شَقِيٌّ أَوْ سَعِيدٌ فَوَ الَّذِي لَا إِلهَ غَيْرُهُ إِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ لَيَعْمَلُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ حَتَّى مَا يَكُونُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا إِلاَّ ذِرَاعٌ فَيَسْبِقُ عَلَيْهِ الْكِتَابُ فَيُخْتَمُ لَهُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ النَّارِ فَيَدْخُلُهَا وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَعْمَلُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ النَّارِ حَتَّى مَا يَكُونُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا إِلاَّ ذِرَاعٌ فَيَسْبِقُ عَلَيْهِ الْكِتَابُ فَيُخْتَمُ لَهُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ فَيَدْخُلُهَا
The creation of anyone of you is gathered for forty days in his mother's womb as a Nutfah (the mixture of the male and female discharge), then becomes an 'Alaqah (a piece of thick coagulated blood), for a similar period of time, then he becomes a Mudghah (little lump of flesh) for a similar length of time.
Then the angel is sent to him and he breathes the soul into it, and four things are decreed:
•his provision,
•his life-span,
•his deeds, and
•whether he will be wretched or blessed.
By the One besides Whom there is no other god, one of you may do the deeds of the people of Paradise until there is no more than a forearm's length between him and it, then the decree will overtake him and he will do the deeds of the people of Hell and thus enter Hell.
And a man may do the deeds of the people of Hell until there is no more than a forearm's length between him and it, then the decree will overtake him and he will do finally the deeds of the people of Paradise and thus enter Paradise.
This was recorded by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.📙
▪️Imam Ahmad recorded in his Musnad that Abdullah -- Ibn Mas`ud -- said:
"The Messenger of Allah ﷺ, the Truthful One, told us:
إِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ لَيُجْمَعُ خَلْقُهُ فِي بَطْنِ أُمِّهِ أَرْبَعِينَ يَوْمًا نُطْفَةً ثُمَّ يَكُونُ عَلَقَةً مِثْلَ ذلِكَ ثُمَّ يَكُونُ مُضْغَةً مِثْلَ ذلِكَ ثُمَّ يُرْسَلُ إِلَيْهِ الْمَلَكُ فَيَنْفُخُ فِيهِ الرُّوحَ وَيُوْمَرُ بِأَرْبَعِ كَلِمَاتٍ رِزْقِهِ وَأَجَلِهِ وَعَمَلِهِ وَهَلْ هُوَ شَقِيٌّ أَوْ سَعِيدٌ فَوَ الَّذِي لَا إِلهَ غَيْرُهُ إِنَّ أَحَدَكُمْ لَيَعْمَلُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ حَتَّى مَا يَكُونُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا إِلاَّ ذِرَاعٌ فَيَسْبِقُ عَلَيْهِ الْكِتَابُ فَيُخْتَمُ لَهُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ النَّارِ فَيَدْخُلُهَا وَإِنَّ الرَّجُلَ لَيَعْمَلُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ النَّارِ حَتَّى مَا يَكُونُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَهَا إِلاَّ ذِرَاعٌ فَيَسْبِقُ عَلَيْهِ الْكِتَابُ فَيُخْتَمُ لَهُ بِعَمَلِ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ فَيَدْخُلُهَا
The creation of anyone of you is gathered for forty days in his mother's womb as a Nutfah (the mixture of the male and female discharge), then becomes an 'Alaqah (a piece of thick coagulated blood), for a similar period of time, then he becomes a Mudghah (little lump of flesh) for a similar length of time.
Then the angel is sent to him and he breathes the soul into it, and four things are decreed:
•his provision,
•his life-span,
•his deeds, and
•whether he will be wretched or blessed.
By the One besides Whom there is no other god, one of you may do the deeds of the people of Paradise until there is no more than a forearm's length between him and it, then the decree will overtake him and he will do the deeds of the people of Hell and thus enter Hell.
And a man may do the deeds of the people of Hell until there is no more than a forearm's length between him and it, then the decree will overtake him and he will do finally the deeds of the people of Paradise and thus enter Paradise.
This was recorded by Al-Bukhari and Muslim.📙
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The Parents of yesterday wanted their children to become a scholar,a warrior for islam, a righteous leader that would strive for the sake of Allah and his name won't be forgotten in the surface of the earth.
But the parents of today wanted their children to be famous (for worldly life),to build a mansion for them,a nice car,a best job.
May Allah make us a righteous parent for his sake in this world and hereafter.
*Bitter truth*😭
But the parents of today wanted their children to be famous (for worldly life),to build a mansion for them,a nice car,a best job.
May Allah make us a righteous parent for his sake in this world and hereafter.
*Bitter truth*😭
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Dont SCREAM at ur child, speak to them using gentle speech & kind words:
How often is it that when our children misbehave we tend to lash out, to shout, to SCREAM to speak in an abrupt and maybe even cold manner...? I came across this ayah in the Quran where Allah says:
“Go, both of you, to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with GENTLE SPEECH he may be reminded or fear [Allah].”
Qur'an [Surah Taha: 20:44]
How terrible and arrogant was Firawn? How evil was his treatment of the Banu-Israel? How he turned his face in contempt towards Allah? He was the most insolent & arrogant person of his time.
Despite all this, Allah orders Musa (alaihis salaam) & Haroon (alaihis salam) to speak to him in a gentle and kind manner, just in case he might come around and believe.
There is an important lesson here on how you should treat difficult people & those headed in the wrong direction. Especially our own children when they do or say things that are contrary to what you've taught them.
Just like you don't appreciate people talking down to you, your approach needs to be one of love and concern regardless of the behaviour of your child. The manner in which you speak to a CHILD is often times more important and more impactful than what you say!
Its not WHAT you say, its HOW you say it...so STOP SCREAMING at ur child & speak kindly & gentle like a close friend.
How often is it that when our children misbehave we tend to lash out, to shout, to SCREAM to speak in an abrupt and maybe even cold manner...? I came across this ayah in the Quran where Allah says:
“Go, both of you, to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with GENTLE SPEECH he may be reminded or fear [Allah].”
Qur'an [Surah Taha: 20:44]
How terrible and arrogant was Firawn? How evil was his treatment of the Banu-Israel? How he turned his face in contempt towards Allah? He was the most insolent & arrogant person of his time.
Despite all this, Allah orders Musa (alaihis salaam) & Haroon (alaihis salam) to speak to him in a gentle and kind manner, just in case he might come around and believe.
There is an important lesson here on how you should treat difficult people & those headed in the wrong direction. Especially our own children when they do or say things that are contrary to what you've taught them.
Just like you don't appreciate people talking down to you, your approach needs to be one of love and concern regardless of the behaviour of your child. The manner in which you speak to a CHILD is often times more important and more impactful than what you say!
Its not WHAT you say, its HOW you say it...so STOP SCREAMING at ur child & speak kindly & gentle like a close friend.
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Rights of children before birth
The child’s rights over their parents include some that come even before the child is born, for example:
· Choosing a righteous wife to be a righteous mother.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Marry the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 4802; Muslim, 1466)
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Ghani al-Dahlawi said: “Choose from among women those who are religiously committed and righteous, and who are of good descent, for if a woman is of illegitimate descent, this bad characteristic may be passed to her children. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicator or a Mushrik.” [al-Nur 24:3]
Rather Islam recommends compatibility for the purpose of harmony and to avoid a person being shamed if he marries into a family that is not compatible.” (Sharh Sunan Ibn Majah, 1/141)
The child’s rights over their parents include some that come even before the child is born, for example:
· Choosing a righteous wife to be a righteous mother.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “A woman may be married for four reasons: her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religious commitment. Marry the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Narrated by al-Bukhari, 4802; Muslim, 1466)
Shaykh ‘Abd al-Ghani al-Dahlawi said: “Choose from among women those who are religiously committed and righteous, and who are of good descent, for if a woman is of illegitimate descent, this bad characteristic may be passed to her children. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“The adulterer — fornicator marries not but an adulteress — fornicatress or a Mushrikah; and the adulteress –fornicatress, none marries her except an adulterer — fornicator or a Mushrik.” [al-Nur 24:3]
Rather Islam recommends compatibility for the purpose of harmony and to avoid a person being shamed if he marries into a family that is not compatible.” (Sharh Sunan Ibn Majah, 1/141)
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The Daughter.
Whoever has a daughter or daughters doesn't know the blessings Allah has bestowed upon them. We see men who feel apathetic about having a female child. Also, we see the family who doesn't know how to nurture their children, not to talk of female children.
You see females dressed naked on the street and their parents approving this with them saying "She's socialized, let them know I have a female that jasi".
May we not jasi Ina.
Our children should be nurtured and given good Tarbiyyah, not as we see some mothers practicing the Deen, while the daughter isn't. We ask Allah to save us from this.
Having female daughters is indeed a great virtue we need to be wary of.
Anas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever has three daughters, or three sisters, and he fears Allah regarding them and cares for them, he will be with me in Paradise like this,” and he held up his two fingers.
Source: Musnad Abī Ya’lá 3448
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani
Train your daughters with a correct understanding of the Deen, and save her from the beliefs of society.
We ask Allah to ease it for us. Aameen
Whoever has a daughter or daughters doesn't know the blessings Allah has bestowed upon them. We see men who feel apathetic about having a female child. Also, we see the family who doesn't know how to nurture their children, not to talk of female children.
You see females dressed naked on the street and their parents approving this with them saying "She's socialized, let them know I have a female that jasi".
May we not jasi Ina.
Our children should be nurtured and given good Tarbiyyah, not as we see some mothers practicing the Deen, while the daughter isn't. We ask Allah to save us from this.
Having female daughters is indeed a great virtue we need to be wary of.
Anas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever has three daughters, or three sisters, and he fears Allah regarding them and cares for them, he will be with me in Paradise like this,” and he held up his two fingers.
Source: Musnad Abī Ya’lá 3448
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani
Train your daughters with a correct understanding of the Deen, and save her from the beliefs of society.
We ask Allah to ease it for us. Aameen
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A mother told a sheikh;”oh sheikh!I find difficulty in waking my son up for Fajr! The sheikh replied;” if there was a fire-wouldn’t u drag him out of the house?” She said “Ofc!” His response:”so what of the fire of Jahannam?”
Subhan’Allaah!
Subhan’Allaah!
👍9
📗 | Sheikh Saleh Al-Luhaidan, may Allah have mercy on him, said:
"It is advisable for a person, as well as his family and children at home, to increase in reading the Quran. Because reciting the Quran at home illuminates and brightens the house, and it serves as a deterrent to Shaytan. Shaytan does not endure a place where the Quran is recited."
📗 | Wasaaya li Tullaab al-Ilm| |
"It is advisable for a person, as well as his family and children at home, to increase in reading the Quran. Because reciting the Quran at home illuminates and brightens the house, and it serves as a deterrent to Shaytan. Shaytan does not endure a place where the Quran is recited."
📗 | Wasaaya li Tullaab al-Ilm| |
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Parenting Advice from Shaykh Faraz Rabbani
“You're not responsible for your children's actions, only for what you teach them (or don't teach them).
Focus on teaching your children adab and akhlaq (manners and etiquette); parents don't emphasize these enough any more. Have adab with yourself before you set out to teach adab -- that means "pausing". Be willing to pause before reacting.
Adab is the capacity to have the appropriate action, attitude, and response in any given situation.
Oftentimes we do more damage by how we react to our children's mishaps. When we lose our temper with our kids, we're still "teaching" them; we're just not teaching them the appropriate reaction to life's adversities and challenges. Our kids are always learning from us.
Criticizing your children is a bid'ah (a blameworthy innovation); it's not from the Sunnah (way of the Prophet). Don't criticize; don't nag. Nagging your children about everything is a good way to guarantee that they don't listen to you about anything. Nagging never works.
Sometimes the correct response is to not say anything.
If you want to know how to raise teenagers, look at the life of Anas (radiAllahu anhu); he lived in the house of the Prophet (salallaahu alaihi wasallam) from the age of 10 to 20. He broke things and made mistakes, but the Prophet (saw) never focused on whatever Allah had already destined; he never shamed Anas (rA) for his mistakes. He only focused on gentle teaching and gentle reminders. (i.e. "Did you take care of that task I asked you to do?" rather than "Why haven't you done what I asked you to do yet?! How many times do I have to remind you?!")
Children who have not yet attained the age of puberty are not held accountable by Allah (swt) even if they commit murder (God forbid), so who are we to freak out on our kids for "little things" like spilled milk?
When the Prophet (saw) saw another young sahabah (companion) eating greedily from all over a plate, he gently told him, "Say Allah's Name before eating; eat with your right hand; and eat from what is in front of you." He didn't criticize him for his (lack of) manners; he only told him the correct way to eat and then moved on.
We are not police officers or judges when it comes to our children; rather, we should be like shepherds -- we should try to gently guide them in the direction of where we want them to eventually end up.
Complaining about your children to friends is blameworthy; however, consulting with ppl who have wisdom and experience is praiseworthy. Don't talk to just anyone about you r concerns regarding your children.
When asked about getting kids to pray or to wear the hijab, he reminded us that Islam is not about do's and don'ts and a bunch of rules; it's about the heart. We need to teach kids to have hearts that are directed towards pleasing their Lord. They should desire on their own to live lives of taqwa (God-consciousness). We must model taqwa for them by how we live our own lives. Some children may need gentle nudges and reminders to do the right thing.
Don’t over indulge and spend on your children teach them the value of what they have, sometimes we fill ourselves of something we lack when we over indulge in them this is dangerous at any age.
All virtues that are virtuous should be taught to and emphasized for BOTH genders (like modesty and lowering the gaze and gentleness). Boys should not be shamed for being shy. Shyness is praiseworthy.
Prayer should be a pleasant experience for the kids. He talked about his own children taking turns saying their personal duas aloud after prayer time; sometimes the kids would fall into hugging and wrestling on the prayer mat afterwards.
Teach kids about the Prophet Muhammad's (saw) life.
Remind yourself about what your parents did RIGHT.
Don't become self-satisfied and overly confident in your parenting.
Seek Allah's Pleasure through your own parenting, and facilitate for your children to seek Allah's Pleasure as well.
“You're not responsible for your children's actions, only for what you teach them (or don't teach them).
Focus on teaching your children adab and akhlaq (manners and etiquette); parents don't emphasize these enough any more. Have adab with yourself before you set out to teach adab -- that means "pausing". Be willing to pause before reacting.
Adab is the capacity to have the appropriate action, attitude, and response in any given situation.
Oftentimes we do more damage by how we react to our children's mishaps. When we lose our temper with our kids, we're still "teaching" them; we're just not teaching them the appropriate reaction to life's adversities and challenges. Our kids are always learning from us.
Criticizing your children is a bid'ah (a blameworthy innovation); it's not from the Sunnah (way of the Prophet). Don't criticize; don't nag. Nagging your children about everything is a good way to guarantee that they don't listen to you about anything. Nagging never works.
Sometimes the correct response is to not say anything.
If you want to know how to raise teenagers, look at the life of Anas (radiAllahu anhu); he lived in the house of the Prophet (salallaahu alaihi wasallam) from the age of 10 to 20. He broke things and made mistakes, but the Prophet (saw) never focused on whatever Allah had already destined; he never shamed Anas (rA) for his mistakes. He only focused on gentle teaching and gentle reminders. (i.e. "Did you take care of that task I asked you to do?" rather than "Why haven't you done what I asked you to do yet?! How many times do I have to remind you?!")
Children who have not yet attained the age of puberty are not held accountable by Allah (swt) even if they commit murder (God forbid), so who are we to freak out on our kids for "little things" like spilled milk?
When the Prophet (saw) saw another young sahabah (companion) eating greedily from all over a plate, he gently told him, "Say Allah's Name before eating; eat with your right hand; and eat from what is in front of you." He didn't criticize him for his (lack of) manners; he only told him the correct way to eat and then moved on.
We are not police officers or judges when it comes to our children; rather, we should be like shepherds -- we should try to gently guide them in the direction of where we want them to eventually end up.
Complaining about your children to friends is blameworthy; however, consulting with ppl who have wisdom and experience is praiseworthy. Don't talk to just anyone about you r concerns regarding your children.
When asked about getting kids to pray or to wear the hijab, he reminded us that Islam is not about do's and don'ts and a bunch of rules; it's about the heart. We need to teach kids to have hearts that are directed towards pleasing their Lord. They should desire on their own to live lives of taqwa (God-consciousness). We must model taqwa for them by how we live our own lives. Some children may need gentle nudges and reminders to do the right thing.
Don’t over indulge and spend on your children teach them the value of what they have, sometimes we fill ourselves of something we lack when we over indulge in them this is dangerous at any age.
All virtues that are virtuous should be taught to and emphasized for BOTH genders (like modesty and lowering the gaze and gentleness). Boys should not be shamed for being shy. Shyness is praiseworthy.
Prayer should be a pleasant experience for the kids. He talked about his own children taking turns saying their personal duas aloud after prayer time; sometimes the kids would fall into hugging and wrestling on the prayer mat afterwards.
Teach kids about the Prophet Muhammad's (saw) life.
Remind yourself about what your parents did RIGHT.
Don't become self-satisfied and overly confident in your parenting.
Seek Allah's Pleasure through your own parenting, and facilitate for your children to seek Allah's Pleasure as well.
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Aim high in both spiritual and worldly matters. Do dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and call on Allah for Help. Don't just ask that He make your kids into good Muslims; ask Him to make your kids from amongst the best and most virtuous of all Muslims ever. Trust in Him to answer your duas. Nothing is impossible for Allah.“
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