The Power of Istighfaar : What effect does it have on your life?

One of the righteous people said,

"Do not overthink rather do a lot of istighfaar, for Allah taala opens doors with istighfaar that are not opened by overthinking."

As much as raising children is a responsibility, it is also a skill, and among the affairs one pays attention to are:

- Teach them with your actions as well as your words, avoiding contradictions between advice and application.

- Ensure your criticism is gentle, and keep the religion your main focus.
- Share in their thoughts and interests.
- Be close, along with overlooking [some affairs], and beware of your closeness becoming bothersome, causing them to seek distance from you.

- Encourage craftsmanship, whether in learning or technical creativity.
- Get them used to being responsible, even if slowly and gradually, according to their ages.
- Do not label them with ugly labels such that it sticks with them for life.
- Share in their success and rejoice with them.
- Avoid discouraging remarks if they stumble.
- Inquire about and get to know their close friends.

https://x.com/m_g_alomari_eng/status/1740344119128654255?s=46

Daughters Are More Difficult To Raise Than Boys Today

Shaykh Sālih Ibn Fawzān Al-Fawzān حفظه الله said:

“The daughters today have become more difficult than the boys because they have started to go out to the schools, and go to the jobs and to the businesses. Therefore protect them when they go out. They should not go out while beautified. They should not go out uncovered. They should not go out unveiled and exposed. Regulate them with covering themselves, shyness and dignity. She should not ride alone with a driver who is not her close male relative because this is the impermissible seclusion. And how much has occurred due to the girls being with drivers, who are not their close male relatives? How much corruption and evil has occurred? Therefore fear Allāh, O slaves of Allāh. Protect your children - the males and females - because you will be questioned about them in front of Allāh. And their corruption is loss for you in this world and the hereafter. Thus fear Allāh, O slaves of Allāh. Protect your offspring. I seek refuge in Allāh from the accursed Shaytān.”

https://mtws.posthaven.com/daughters-more-difficult-to-raise-than-boys-today

Translated by Rasheed Ibn Estes Barbee

Raising The Children

Taking care of the child is the responsibility of both parents together. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said:

"Each of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. The man is a shepherd within his home and is responsible for his flock. The woman is a shepherdess within the home of her husband and is responsible for her flock." *

* Bukhārī (no. 853), Muslim (no. 1829)

Book: A Woman's Guide to Raising a Family
By Shaykh Sālih al-Fawzān حفظه الله
Translated by: Raha Batts
Published by: Hikmah Publications
Page: 43

💎 *Instilling righteousness and good character in your children are from the greatest of good deeds* 🌷

The companion Amr bin Al-‘Aas, may Allah be pleased with him, said:
ما نَحلَ والِدٌ ولدَهُ أفضلَ مِن أدَبٍ حَسنٍ
*“A parent does not bestow upon his child anything better than [instilling in him or her] good character.”* (Al-Jami’ Al-Saghir 8099)

The arabic verb َنَحل comes from the word نحلة which is a bee. It means to willingly give or bestow something sweet and beneficial like honey, from yourself to another. This shows us that, in order to instill in our children good character and manners, we need to first possess and display those characters and manners, so that we may then pass them on to our children. Good character and beautiful manners is taught first and foremost through actions — and not just words.

Shaykh Al-Sai’dee, may Allah have mercy on him, commented on this beautiful statement, saying:

_“The people who are most deserving of your good are your children. They are a trust which Allah gave you and He instructed you to give them a righteous upbringing that is good for their bodies and hearts._

_Anything you do in that regard (of raising them righteously), big or small, is a fulfillment of the obligation given to you and from the most virtuous things that brings you closer to Allah. So strive in that and expect the reward from Allah._

_Just as you are rewarded for fulfilling their rights when you feed, clothe and care for their physical health, you are also, and even more so, rewarded for nurturing their hearts and souls, when you teach them beneficial and truthful knowledge, guide them to the best of manners and warn them from what contradicts that._

_Instilling good character in your children is better for their present and future than giving them gold and silver and all sorts of materialistic goods, because with good manners and beautiful character they are elevated._

_With good manners and beautiful character they become (truly) happy and they are able to fulfill the rights of Allah and the rights of the creation. With good manners and beautiful character they are able to stay away from all types of evil and with it they fulfill good treatment of their parents._

_Neglecting to raise one’s children comes with great harm and danger. Imagine you had a garden which you cared for until its trees grew tall, its fruits ripened, and its flowers blossomed, and you then neglected it and did not protect it. You neither watered it nor removed harm from it, and you didn’t prepare it for growth at all times — wouldn’t that be the greatest type of ignorance and foolishness?_

_So how can you neglect your children who are from your own body, the fruit of your heart, a replication of your soul, and those who take your place while you are alive and when you die? They are those who, from their happiness, yours is fulfilled and from their success, you achieve great good:_ *“And none receive admonition except men of understanding.”* (Quran 3:7)

(Bahjat Quloob Al-Abrar)

Falsely attributing oneself to other than his own parents

The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: “Any man who knowingly attributes himself to someone other than his father has committed an act of kufr. Whoever claims to belong to a people to whom he does not belong, let him take his place in Hell.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (3317) and Muslim (61).

Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (r) said:

This hadeeth shows that it is haraam to deny a parentage that is known and to claim to belong to someone else.

Fath al-Baari (10/308).

*💎 SEEKING ALLAH'S AID IN RAISING CHILDREN*

▪️In one of his tafseer lessons, Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaq al-Badr said:

*لا يمكن أن يصلح لك فرد من أفراد ذريتك إلا إذا أصلحه الله لك. مهما اجتهدت في تأديبه وتربيته وأطْرِهِ على الحق، والزامه بالاستقامة لا يمكن أن يستقيم ويَصلُح إلا إذا أصلحه الله لك. فالهادي هو الله، والموفق هو الله سبحانه وتعالى. ولهذا ينبغي على المسلم أن يَعْظُمَ رجاؤه بالله، وسؤاله لله، والحَاحُه على الله -سبحانه وتعالى- أن يصلح ذريته. فهاهو خليل الرحمن في دعائه يقول: {رَبَّنَا وَاجْعَلْنَا مُسْلِمَيْنِ لَكَ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِنَا أُمَّةً مُّسْلِمَةً لَّكَ}. ـ *

It is not possible for you to make any of your offspring upright unless Allah makes him upright for you.

No matter how hard you work to instill good manners in him, raise him right, make him receptive to the truth, and make him stick to upright behavior, it is not possible for him to be in good standing and upright unless Allah makes him upright for you.

For Allah is the guide. Allah is the One who gives success.

That is why a Muslim ought to give importance to placing his hopes on Allah, asking Allah, and his own reliance on Allah in making his offspring upright. That is why Khalil al-Rahman – Ibrahim عليه السلام – said in his supplication:

*رَبَّنَا وَاجْعَلْنَا مُسْلِمَيْنِ لَكَ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِنَا أُمَّةً مُّسْلِمَةً لَّكَ*

O our Lord, and make us both those who submit to you, and make out of our offspring a nation that submits to you [2:128]

[Class #8 of the sheikh’s explanation of the book Tafsir Ayaat al-Qur’an al-Kareem of Shaykh Muhammad ibn ‘Abd al-Wahhab] 📙

There remains a warning, which Ash-Shaykh Mustafaa mention in his valuable book Understanding Child Raising in which he states,

"A child makes a mistake and is in need of chastisement so he mother comes and chastises him. Then the unwise husband forbids the mother from chastising the child. The child hears the father telling the mother this, which has an effect on him. As a result, the respect for the mother is gone. Therefore, do not forbid the mother to chastise her child while the child can hear the conversation Speak soothingly to her and give her a proper level of awe and respect. For example, if you see the child does not deserve to be hit, ask Allaah to forgive him this time, you forgive him this time, and if he does it again, you and I will punish him together.

Verily, if a father hits the mother or forbids her from chastising their children while the children can hear him, he sends a clear message to the children and affects the condition of their souls. The children may express anger and hatred towards the mother and some may carry the memory inside of them. Perhaps the next time they make a mistake and their mother admonishes them, the child will say to her, 'I will tell my father to hit you and do this and that to you. This will have the negative effect of splitting the house."

Page 40
Supporting the Rights of the Believing Women
Written by Umm Salamah As-Salafiyyah
Tarbiyyah Bookstore Publishing

KINDLY READ THE HADITH CAREFULLY & ITLL BREAK YOUR HEART

that why no one should be a Merciful human beings in this world toward thier children except there parents!

Abū ʿAlī b. Muḥammad b. Aḥmad al-Ṭūmārī reported that Abū Bakr b. ʿAbd al-Khāliq al-Warrāq said:

I had a daughter who was tested with a disability and she was like this for around ten years.


I once said, “I wished she just died” and then she (actually) died.


I then saw her in my sleep (ie: dream after she passed away),
as if she was standing in front of him and the Day of Judgement was taking place.


She stood up (as if) she was one of those children who would take the hand of her parent and lead them to al-Jannah (ie: Paradise).
،

So I said to my daughter, “Take my hand and lead me to al-Jannah.”قَة،

She said to me, “No, you wished for my death.”

al-Khaṭīb al-Baġdādī, Tārīkh Baġdād 6
https://shamela.ws/book/736/3186

WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE NIKKAH IS DIFFICULT , ZINA IS SO EASY

Marriage has become so difficult nowadays and Zina has become so easy. Why is that?  Usually when someone wants to get married they get obsessed with the day, the dress, the venue, the food, the cards, the gifts, the honeymoon, the guest list.

In our Prophet's (peace be upon him) era, marriage was finalised and conducted in a few days with little fuss. Because of these material factors some people are simply not getting married due to costs and expectations.

Nowadays if someone has a small wedding in the Masjid people start talking.
May Allah give us the common sense and humility to only please Him. Join us to say Ameen and let's put less pressure on kids who want to get married for the right reasons, i.e. complete half their deen and not to put on a show which only lasts for a few hours. Ameen!

https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimMarriageTips

FAILURE AS A PARENT.

Nine important pieces of responsibility one has have to fulfill as a Muslim parent. All of it the responsibility of the father.

■ Do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you did not teach us anything about Tawheed (Islamic Monotheism), Sunnah and the Authentic Aqeedah.

■ Do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you did not teach us the importance of knowledge in Islam, encouraging us to seek it from the true and trustworthy scholars.

■ Do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you did not teach us how to pray as prayed by the Messenger (salallaahu alaihiwa-salaam), wake and take us to the masjid for Fajr Salah.

■ Do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you did not teach us the importance Zakah, and we became greedy, kept everything ourselves and did not fulfill this obligation.

■ Do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you did not teach to fast during the blessed month of Ramadan.

■ Do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you neither took us for an umrah or Hajj nor did you teach us how to perform them.

■ Do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you made no attempt teach us the Qur’an.

■ Do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you did not teach us how to enjoin the good and forbid evil.

■ Finally do not be that person on the day of Qiyamah whose children grab and tell you that you never, ever told us anything about marrying a pious spouse.

Ibn Jamā'ah

Failure as a parent

*They are your children*

🧕👲

They are not burdens, they are not your mistake, they are not your headache, they are not your empty dirt bags in which you throw your stress, negativity, rage and anger into.

They are not your financial difficulties, they are not your delicate toys to break emotionally, physically and mentally. They are not your weakling to walk all over and disrespect.

They are not your verbal diarrhea sink to spew curses, insults and ridicule into.

They are not your bad deeds coming back to haunt you. They are not the reason to live in an abusive marriage. They are not puppets to be controlled at all times.

They are not your second chance to try and live your unfulfilling life, your shattered dreams and your broken aspirations through them. They are not your enemy, your competitor, your despair, your hurdle, your set back and your full stop.

They are not the reason you stop perusing your dreams, hobbies and interests. They are not their nanny's children, they are not their grandparents children and they are not their iPads children.

They are your children. They are the coolness of your eyes and the warmth of your heart. They are the laughter of your home and the light within your soul. They are the reflection of your love and the happiness in your family.

They are the blessings and mercy of Allah. They are the strength that keeps you upright even when all you want to do is give up and fall. They are the brightness which illuminates your darkest nights. They are the reason you want to be a better person. They are the followers of your example and teachings. They are the sponge that absorbs your every word and action. They are your echo.

They are your amaanah from Allah.They are your gifts from Allah. They are the ones, if righteous, who will benefit you even after death embraces you.

They are your children..May Allah guide us parents to raise children with mercy, love, care, deen and understanding ...ameen 💕

They do not belong to us, we shall be answerable to Allah for these precious souls that infact belongs to Him.

❤❤❤ Courtesy Rubina Jessani

The best gift a parent can give their children can give their child is a good education. A good education can be summarized by good manners and knowledge of ones lineage (ancestry from BOTH parents).

If you received these from either of your parents then know that you are HIGHLY indebted to them (be patient with them, be kind to them, and serve them well). If you did not receive this from your parents, now that you know, be the change!

O Parents! Be Righteous!

Tafseer al-Baghawi رحمه الله:

Abdullah ibn Mas’ood (radiyAllahu ‘anhu), used to pray at night and would see his small child sleeping then he would say, “this is for your bright future” and whilst crying would recite:

وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا صَالِحًا

“And their father was righteous” Surat al-Kahf, 82

lbn Abbās (radiyAllahu ’anhu) said (commenting on this verse):

“They (the two orphans) were protected by the righteousness of their father.”

Saeed lbn Musayyib (radiyAllahu ‘anhu) said: “I worship, and then when I remember my child(ren), I increase in my worship"

💡Tafseer al-Baghawee رحمه الله vol. 5, pg. 196

Lying to the children is like lying to adults

Narrated Abdullah ibn Amir:

My mother called me one day when the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) was sitting in our house. She said: Come here and I shall give you something. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked her: What did you intend to give him? She replied: I intended to give him some dates. The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: If you were not to give him anything, a lie would be recorded against you. [ Abu Dawood 4991 Hasan Albany]

{From the important affairs is to let children learn from mistakes. You make mistakes, but do not want your children to make mistakes?

https://x.com/m_g_alomari_eng/status/1746918083413852544 @m_g_alomari

https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VaDAyTG3AzNOp2GPXY0P/134}

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹
Your World gets empty the day you loose your Parents, either one, or both of them. It really does get empty, I'm not saying this not to tell you how empty is mine is , but to tell you how full is yours. Take care of them, appreciate them while they alive.They won't be around forever.
🌹🌹

If you see good in me, pray for my parents.

A mother was asked:
How did you make your kid addicted/inclined to learning? My kid doesn't listen to me and plays on the phone.

She answered:
Kids don't listen to us.
Rather, they become like us (resemble us).

That's why, if you are following this Dīn that Allāh gave us, your kids will become like that as well, following the Dīn. If you are doing nothing useful/beneficial, doing harām, not following the Dīn or not knowing it, not having beautiful courtesy/politeness or doing worship, then your kids will become like that as well. They will be in the dark (ignorant) not knowing what is and isn't halāl. Learn the Dīn and follow it. You will find, in this life, joy, ease and solace in every way (possible). Not only will it be useful/beneficial for yourself, but for your kids too, in shā Allāh.
والله أعلم