Disciplining children is not about imposing punishment, but about imparting wisdom. It's not about asserting control, but about nurturing their growth. When we explain the reasoning behind our boundaries and consequences with kindness and compassion, we help them develop a deeper understanding of themselves and the world around them.
By doing so, we create a supportive environment where they can learn from their mistakes, take ownership of their actions, and cultivate a sense of responsibility. This approach not only fosters a stronger bond between parent and child but also lays the foundation for a lifelong journey of self-discovery and moral guidance.
By disciplining with empathy and understanding, we empower our children to develop a strong sense of self, a clear moral compass, and the essential skills they need to navigate life's challenges with confidence and resilience. This perspective emphasizes the importance of explanatory discipline, which focuses on teaching, guiding, and nurturing children, rather than simply punishing them.
~ 𝓙𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮
By doing so, we create a supportive environment where they can learn from their mistakes, take ownership of their actions, and cultivate a sense of responsibility. This approach not only fosters a stronger bond between parent and child but also lays the foundation for a lifelong journey of self-discovery and moral guidance.
By disciplining with empathy and understanding, we empower our children to develop a strong sense of self, a clear moral compass, and the essential skills they need to navigate life's challenges with confidence and resilience. This perspective emphasizes the importance of explanatory discipline, which focuses on teaching, guiding, and nurturing children, rather than simply punishing them.
~ 𝓙𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓷𝓮𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮
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If you find yourself loving one of your children more than the others, try as much as possible to not let it be obvious. Treat them equally.
Parental favoritism has caused damaged to alot of kids. It brings enmity between children and sometimes leads to low self-esteem, especially to the unfavoured ones.
Parental favoritism has caused damaged to alot of kids. It brings enmity between children and sometimes leads to low self-esteem, especially to the unfavoured ones.
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READ THIS, IT'S BEAUTIFUL ❤🐝🦋
A mother's destiny is to wait for her children.
She waits for them even before they're born.
She waits for them after school.
She waits for them to come home after a night out.
She waits as they build their own lives.
She waits for them to return home after work, ready with a warm meal.
She waits with love, with worry, and sometimes with frustration that fades the moment she sees them and can hold them close.
Don't let your dear mother wait any longer. Call her, visit her, love her, hug the one who loves you like no one else ever will.
Don't make her wait—she's hoping for this from you.
Because though her body may age, a mother's heart never grows old. Love her while you can. No one will ever love you like your mother does.
Don't make your mother wait. Love her while you can. ❤🌻🦋
A mother's destiny is to wait for her children.
She waits for them even before they're born.
She waits for them after school.
She waits for them to come home after a night out.
She waits as they build their own lives.
She waits for them to return home after work, ready with a warm meal.
She waits with love, with worry, and sometimes with frustration that fades the moment she sees them and can hold them close.
Don't let your dear mother wait any longer. Call her, visit her, love her, hug the one who loves you like no one else ever will.
Don't make her wait—she's hoping for this from you.
Because though her body may age, a mother's heart never grows old. Love her while you can. No one will ever love you like your mother does.
Don't make your mother wait. Love her while you can. ❤🌻🦋
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The first man a girl admires is her father.
Daughters will always look up to their fathers as their hero, loyal guardian and protective shield, with whom she can find hope, shelter and protection.
The most cowardly thing a father can do, is to turn a blind eye to the suffering of his daughter after she is married and abandon her to her fate. It will break her heart, shatter her world and make her lose all hope.
As a father, you should teach your daughter to be dutiful and live honourably with her husband.
Tell the man who wishes to marry your daughter: “I am entrusting my daughter to you. I treated her with kindness and respect when she was with me. I expect nothing less from you.”
Most likely, nothing will happen and life will be good, but IF he then abuses her, unleash hell and make sure he faces the full consequences of his behaviour.
If the father is no longer present, then this duty falls on the shoulders of her brothers.
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
Daughters will always look up to their fathers as their hero, loyal guardian and protective shield, with whom she can find hope, shelter and protection.
The most cowardly thing a father can do, is to turn a blind eye to the suffering of his daughter after she is married and abandon her to her fate. It will break her heart, shatter her world and make her lose all hope.
As a father, you should teach your daughter to be dutiful and live honourably with her husband.
Tell the man who wishes to marry your daughter: “I am entrusting my daughter to you. I treated her with kindness and respect when she was with me. I expect nothing less from you.”
Most likely, nothing will happen and life will be good, but IF he then abuses her, unleash hell and make sure he faces the full consequences of his behaviour.
If the father is no longer present, then this duty falls on the shoulders of her brothers.
https://news.1rj.ru/str/MuslimChildrenTips
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Forwarded from Muslim Marriage Tips
As you sow, so shall u reap.
History repent by itself.
What it goes, comes around.
History repent by itself.
What it goes, comes around.
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"Between you and Allāh is your prayer, and between you and people is your Akhlaq"
That's how we should raise our children.
That's how we should raise our children.
👍20
Forwarded from Muslim Marriage Tips
A father doesn't just have a financial duty towards his kids...
💯9
The Prophets were Fathers of Daughters
http://dusunnah.com/article/the-prophets-were-fathers-of-daughters-ibn-qayyim/
http://dusunnah.com/article/the-prophets-were-fathers-of-daughters-ibn-qayyim/
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Fear of Your Parents' Old Age
"There is a break in the family history, where the ages accumulate and overlap, and the natural order makes no sense: it’s when the child becomes the parent of their parent."
It’s when the father grows older and begins to move as if he were walking through fog. Slowly, slowly, imprecisely.
It’s when one of the parents who once held your hand firmly when you were little no longer wants to be alone.
It’s when the father, once strong and unbeatable, weakens and takes two breaths before rising from his seat.
It’s when the father, who once commanded and ordered, now only sighs, only groans, and searches for where the door and window are—every hallway now feels distant.
It’s when one of the parents, once willing and hardworking, struggles to dress themselves and forgets to take their medication.
And we, as their children, will do nothing but accept that we are responsible for that life.
The life that gave birth to us depends on our life to die in peace.
Every child is the parent of their parent's death. Perhaps the old age of a father or mother is, curiously, the final pregnancy.
Our last lesson. An opportunity to return the care and love they gave us for decades.
And just as we adapted our homes to care for our babies, blocking power outlets and setting up playpens, we will now rearrange the furniture for our parents.
The first transformation happens in the bathroom. We will be the parents of our parents, the ones who now install a grab bar in the shower.
The grab bar is emblematic. The grab bar is symbolic. The grab bar inaugurates the "unsteadiness of the waters."
Because the shower, simple and refreshing, now becomes a storm for the old feet of our protectors.
We cannot leave them for even a moment.
The home of someone who cares for their parents will have grab bars along the walls. And our arms will extend in the form of railings.
Aging is walking while holding onto objects; aging is even climbing stairs without steps. We will be strangers in our own homes. We will observe every detail with fear and unfamiliarity, with doubt and concern.
We will be architects, designers, frustrated engineers. How did we not foresee that our parents would get sick and need us?
We will regret the sofas, the statues, and the spiral staircase. We will regret all the obstacles and the carpet.
Happy is the child who becomes the parent of their parent before their death, and unfortunate is the child who only appears at the funeral and doesn't say goodbye a little each day.
My friend Joseph Klein accompanied his father until his final moments.
In the hospital, the nurse was maneuvering to move him from the bed to the stretcher, trying to change the sheets when Joe shouted from his seat: Let me help you. He gathered his strength and, for the first time, took his father into his arms. He placed his father's face against his chest.
He cradled his father, consumed by cancer: small, wrinkled, fragile, trembling. He held him for a long time, the time equivalent to his childhood, the time equivalent to his adolescence, a long time, an endless time. By Your Side Nothing Hurts
Rocking his father back and forth. Caressing his father. Calming his father. And he said softly:
- I'm here, I'm here, Dad! "What a father wants to hear at the end of his life is that his child is there."
I love you, Dad, wherever you are, I always think of you, I will never forget you...
Credits to the rightful owner
"There is a break in the family history, where the ages accumulate and overlap, and the natural order makes no sense: it’s when the child becomes the parent of their parent."
It’s when the father grows older and begins to move as if he were walking through fog. Slowly, slowly, imprecisely.
It’s when one of the parents who once held your hand firmly when you were little no longer wants to be alone.
It’s when the father, once strong and unbeatable, weakens and takes two breaths before rising from his seat.
It’s when the father, who once commanded and ordered, now only sighs, only groans, and searches for where the door and window are—every hallway now feels distant.
It’s when one of the parents, once willing and hardworking, struggles to dress themselves and forgets to take their medication.
And we, as their children, will do nothing but accept that we are responsible for that life.
The life that gave birth to us depends on our life to die in peace.
Every child is the parent of their parent's death. Perhaps the old age of a father or mother is, curiously, the final pregnancy.
Our last lesson. An opportunity to return the care and love they gave us for decades.
And just as we adapted our homes to care for our babies, blocking power outlets and setting up playpens, we will now rearrange the furniture for our parents.
The first transformation happens in the bathroom. We will be the parents of our parents, the ones who now install a grab bar in the shower.
The grab bar is emblematic. The grab bar is symbolic. The grab bar inaugurates the "unsteadiness of the waters."
Because the shower, simple and refreshing, now becomes a storm for the old feet of our protectors.
We cannot leave them for even a moment.
The home of someone who cares for their parents will have grab bars along the walls. And our arms will extend in the form of railings.
Aging is walking while holding onto objects; aging is even climbing stairs without steps. We will be strangers in our own homes. We will observe every detail with fear and unfamiliarity, with doubt and concern.
We will be architects, designers, frustrated engineers. How did we not foresee that our parents would get sick and need us?
We will regret the sofas, the statues, and the spiral staircase. We will regret all the obstacles and the carpet.
Happy is the child who becomes the parent of their parent before their death, and unfortunate is the child who only appears at the funeral and doesn't say goodbye a little each day.
My friend Joseph Klein accompanied his father until his final moments.
In the hospital, the nurse was maneuvering to move him from the bed to the stretcher, trying to change the sheets when Joe shouted from his seat: Let me help you. He gathered his strength and, for the first time, took his father into his arms. He placed his father's face against his chest.
He cradled his father, consumed by cancer: small, wrinkled, fragile, trembling. He held him for a long time, the time equivalent to his childhood, the time equivalent to his adolescence, a long time, an endless time. By Your Side Nothing Hurts
Rocking his father back and forth. Caressing his father. Calming his father. And he said softly:
- I'm here, I'm here, Dad! "What a father wants to hear at the end of his life is that his child is there."
I love you, Dad, wherever you are, I always think of you, I will never forget you...
Credits to the rightful owner
👍18
Hold me very tight son... and never abandon me, never forget about me.
Hold me closer, son, I can still feel your warmth; Those hugs of yours fill my heart with life.
Take me to see the sunrise, son, that I can still admire the beauty of a new day; Your company makes every sunrise more beautiful.
Take me to your house, son, on the weekends; Sharing with you and the grandchildren fills me with joy.
Listen to me patiently, son, don't be bothered by my repetitions; The years have made me talk about the past, but each story has a piece of my love for you.
Laugh with me, son, don't be angry at my mistakes; In every laugh I find a spark of youth and in every mistake, a life lesson.
Don't leave me alone, son, your presence is my greatest treasure; When you're around, the world is warmer and less lonely.
Come see me more often, son, don't forget me in the daily routine; Your visit is the best gift I can receive.
Don't take me away from your life, son, I need to feel like I'm still part of it; Doctors can say many things, but love is the best medicine for the heart.
Ctto
Hold me closer, son, I can still feel your warmth; Those hugs of yours fill my heart with life.
Take me to see the sunrise, son, that I can still admire the beauty of a new day; Your company makes every sunrise more beautiful.
Take me to your house, son, on the weekends; Sharing with you and the grandchildren fills me with joy.
Listen to me patiently, son, don't be bothered by my repetitions; The years have made me talk about the past, but each story has a piece of my love for you.
Laugh with me, son, don't be angry at my mistakes; In every laugh I find a spark of youth and in every mistake, a life lesson.
Don't leave me alone, son, your presence is my greatest treasure; When you're around, the world is warmer and less lonely.
Come see me more often, son, don't forget me in the daily routine; Your visit is the best gift I can receive.
Don't take me away from your life, son, I need to feel like I'm still part of it; Doctors can say many things, but love is the best medicine for the heart.
Ctto
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Forwarded from Muslim Marriage Tips
UNWORTHY OF LOVE
QUESTION:
I feel unworthy of love. Mayb bcoz my own parents didn't even show me love. I think it's affecting my iman. What should I do?
REPLY:
1. The nature of gifts is that V don't need to be worthy to be given them. Love can be a gift that v receive whether we're worthy or not.
2. But we might not actually receive that particular gift from those we want it from. Such is the nature of life. If v seek from the material world, the dunya, it will disappoint us repeatedly, even betray us - even those people v would expect to be the most likely to selflessly give to us, such as our parents.
3. If we truly wish to be loved, Allah tells us how to attain His love. Simply look at all the verses in the Qur'an about whom Allah loves. It's not hard to become one of those people. They include the good-doers, the just, the repentant (this might be the easiest), the self-purifiers, the patient, the trusting, the fighters, the prophetic followers.
4. Every single Muslim has repented & is in a state of continued repentance from disbelief, kufr. This repentance is greater than every other repentance. The act of Islam, of testifying to Allah & His messenger, (peace b upon him), is infinite in merit, greater than all other acts combined. Just being a Muslim is indication of Allah's infinite love for you. Dying on Islam is confirmation of it. And had Allah not loved you, He wouldn't have given you that gift of Islam.
5. How many a person loved by the Creator spends a ridiculous amount of time chasing love from the creation! It's like throwing away diamonds to chase animal droppings.
6. If you want love from creation, then how about the best of all creation, PEACE B UPON HIM? Allah chose to make you belong to the ummah of the best of messengers, PEACE B UPON HIM. He chose to make yu belong to... Muhammad. Peace b upon him. If the members of his ummah only realized how loved they are just for the fact that they belong to him, peace be upon him.
7. But you will forget how loved you are and how blessed you are unless you remind yourself. Because the Devil is busy at work whispering to you to make you forget. So counteract his suggestions with your own. Use the Mirror Exercise, for example, to remind yourself how loved and blessed you are by each day looking yourself in the eyes and reminding yourself.
8. As you look at your reflection and express your gratitude, don't see yourself as simply your own self. See yourself as an act of God. Literally. Your entire being, everything about you, is a manifestation of Allah's creative act. So see His acts when you look at yourself.
9. You never needed to be worthy of Allah's generosity. None of us is actually worthy, because none of us actually ever did anything independently. We are just the recipients of Allah's favor. And Allah's generosity is for whomever He wishes, not just for the worthy.
10. As the Burdah says, "The riches from him will not neglect a poor, dusty hand; / Indeed, the rain causes even hills to be flowery." Valleys are more fit to collect the rain than are hills, and yet the hills are not deprived of the benefit of rain. Similarly, poor, dusty hands that are raised are no less capable of receiving riches, even though hard-working, noble hands might be more worthy.
11. Aaaaand, a secret to riches that so few realize is that the one who recognizes his unworthiness, who raises his poor, dusty, empty hands, seeking generosity in his unworthiness, instead of seeking compensation for his worthiness, is actually *more* likely to receive greater gifts than the one who presents himself in all his worthiness. Because the one who sees himself as unworthy is more connected to his slavehood. He is the one who knows he has nothing and is coming to the King of Kings in utter destitution, empty-handed. That is the person whose hands actually get the most filled with divine riches.
12. So don’t deapire your so called Unworthiness. Rather embrace it. And call out, Ya Rabb! Present yourself to him completely empty, & get ready to receive from him everything.
QUESTION:
I feel unworthy of love. Mayb bcoz my own parents didn't even show me love. I think it's affecting my iman. What should I do?
REPLY:
1. The nature of gifts is that V don't need to be worthy to be given them. Love can be a gift that v receive whether we're worthy or not.
2. But we might not actually receive that particular gift from those we want it from. Such is the nature of life. If v seek from the material world, the dunya, it will disappoint us repeatedly, even betray us - even those people v would expect to be the most likely to selflessly give to us, such as our parents.
3. If we truly wish to be loved, Allah tells us how to attain His love. Simply look at all the verses in the Qur'an about whom Allah loves. It's not hard to become one of those people. They include the good-doers, the just, the repentant (this might be the easiest), the self-purifiers, the patient, the trusting, the fighters, the prophetic followers.
4. Every single Muslim has repented & is in a state of continued repentance from disbelief, kufr. This repentance is greater than every other repentance. The act of Islam, of testifying to Allah & His messenger, (peace b upon him), is infinite in merit, greater than all other acts combined. Just being a Muslim is indication of Allah's infinite love for you. Dying on Islam is confirmation of it. And had Allah not loved you, He wouldn't have given you that gift of Islam.
5. How many a person loved by the Creator spends a ridiculous amount of time chasing love from the creation! It's like throwing away diamonds to chase animal droppings.
6. If you want love from creation, then how about the best of all creation, PEACE B UPON HIM? Allah chose to make you belong to the ummah of the best of messengers, PEACE B UPON HIM. He chose to make yu belong to... Muhammad. Peace b upon him. If the members of his ummah only realized how loved they are just for the fact that they belong to him, peace be upon him.
7. But you will forget how loved you are and how blessed you are unless you remind yourself. Because the Devil is busy at work whispering to you to make you forget. So counteract his suggestions with your own. Use the Mirror Exercise, for example, to remind yourself how loved and blessed you are by each day looking yourself in the eyes and reminding yourself.
8. As you look at your reflection and express your gratitude, don't see yourself as simply your own self. See yourself as an act of God. Literally. Your entire being, everything about you, is a manifestation of Allah's creative act. So see His acts when you look at yourself.
9. You never needed to be worthy of Allah's generosity. None of us is actually worthy, because none of us actually ever did anything independently. We are just the recipients of Allah's favor. And Allah's generosity is for whomever He wishes, not just for the worthy.
10. As the Burdah says, "The riches from him will not neglect a poor, dusty hand; / Indeed, the rain causes even hills to be flowery." Valleys are more fit to collect the rain than are hills, and yet the hills are not deprived of the benefit of rain. Similarly, poor, dusty hands that are raised are no less capable of receiving riches, even though hard-working, noble hands might be more worthy.
11. Aaaaand, a secret to riches that so few realize is that the one who recognizes his unworthiness, who raises his poor, dusty, empty hands, seeking generosity in his unworthiness, instead of seeking compensation for his worthiness, is actually *more* likely to receive greater gifts than the one who presents himself in all his worthiness. Because the one who sees himself as unworthy is more connected to his slavehood. He is the one who knows he has nothing and is coming to the King of Kings in utter destitution, empty-handed. That is the person whose hands actually get the most filled with divine riches.
12. So don’t deapire your so called Unworthiness. Rather embrace it. And call out, Ya Rabb! Present yourself to him completely empty, & get ready to receive from him everything.
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We HAVE to talk about this because this is something we are NEVER taught:
❌YOUR anger is NOT a discipline tool!
We learned it is, because for many of us, that is what we grew up with - adults getting angry if we did something “wrong” - parents AND teachers
❌But it actually isn’t
Your anger MIGHT “control” your children when they are young, under 6/7ish but as they get older, what your anger does is teach them to get BETTER at hiding what they do from you💥
Most of us lean on the same 2 or 3 “strategies” for everything - usually from this list:
Shout
Take away toys/privileges
Spank
Time-out
Nag
Give up
And most of these when implemented, are implemented with anger
Now here’s the thing - we rely on the above because we don’t know what else to do-
And so we keep yelling, or keeping taking things away or keep nagging, increasing our frustration when nothing really changes
It doesn’t change because the above doesn’t work!
Who learns to do better when shouted at?
Who learns to do better when constantly nagged?
Who learns to do better when isolated in time-out?
❌They don’t
When kids are under 7, sure, maybe you can control them with those tactics
But as they get older, they are going to shout back
As they get older they are going to do things behind your back
As they get older you haven’t TAUGHT them you are on THEIR team
Children don’t do better when we make them feel worse - that’s punishment. Punishment doesn’t teach, it’s enforced to make children PAY for their errors
Discipline on the other hand, teaches. It corrects and teaches children to do better following their mistakes
Punishment and discipline are not the same thing
I’m going to say something that might split hairs, but my job as an Intentional Parenting coach is to push you towards positive action, not pacify and make excuses for you to feel better but stay stuck
📣Parenting is your job, not your children’s
🫵To see improvements to their behaviour, you have to first improve yours - where you lead, they will follow
ps. If you want to STOP using anger to control your children, I'm running a FREE No More Yelling coaching masterclass this Sunday insha'Allah
Get your free seat here
https://mumsunstuck.com/noyelling
❌YOUR anger is NOT a discipline tool!
We learned it is, because for many of us, that is what we grew up with - adults getting angry if we did something “wrong” - parents AND teachers
❌But it actually isn’t
Your anger MIGHT “control” your children when they are young, under 6/7ish but as they get older, what your anger does is teach them to get BETTER at hiding what they do from you💥
Most of us lean on the same 2 or 3 “strategies” for everything - usually from this list:
Shout
Take away toys/privileges
Spank
Time-out
Nag
Give up
And most of these when implemented, are implemented with anger
Now here’s the thing - we rely on the above because we don’t know what else to do-
And so we keep yelling, or keeping taking things away or keep nagging, increasing our frustration when nothing really changes
It doesn’t change because the above doesn’t work!
Who learns to do better when shouted at?
Who learns to do better when constantly nagged?
Who learns to do better when isolated in time-out?
❌They don’t
When kids are under 7, sure, maybe you can control them with those tactics
But as they get older, they are going to shout back
As they get older they are going to do things behind your back
As they get older you haven’t TAUGHT them you are on THEIR team
Children don’t do better when we make them feel worse - that’s punishment. Punishment doesn’t teach, it’s enforced to make children PAY for their errors
Discipline on the other hand, teaches. It corrects and teaches children to do better following their mistakes
Punishment and discipline are not the same thing
I’m going to say something that might split hairs, but my job as an Intentional Parenting coach is to push you towards positive action, not pacify and make excuses for you to feel better but stay stuck
📣Parenting is your job, not your children’s
🫵To see improvements to their behaviour, you have to first improve yours - where you lead, they will follow
ps. If you want to STOP using anger to control your children, I'm running a FREE No More Yelling coaching masterclass this Sunday insha'Allah
Get your free seat here
https://mumsunstuck.com/noyelling
Mumsunstuck
No More Yelling!
Break destructive parenting cycles that make you SHOUT and the kids hide! Free coaching masterclass for Muslim mumas!
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