#11. Be patient with your children:

It is not proper for parents to supplicate against their children for being disobedient or not listening to them. The prohibition of this has been mentioned in some of the Ahaadeeth. The parents should beware lest due to their supplications against their own children, the children are placed in difficulty, then its consequences will fall upon the parents. Even if children are disobedient to their parents, and irrespective of how hopeless a situation may seem, there is always hope for them to change. So, the parents should not quickly resort to supplicating against them.

The Prophet ﷺ forbade from supplicating against one’s children, one’s wealth, and one’s own self, lest that be made at a time when the supplications are answered. He ﷺ said: ❝Do not pray against yourselves, do not pray against your children, do not pray against your wealth - lest that coincides with a time when Allaah is asked and He provides - so He answers your prayer.❞

The parents’ supplication for or against their children is answered as the Prophet ﷺ said: ❝Three supplications are answered, there being no doubt about them: the prayer of one who is wronged, the prayer of the traveler, and the supplication of a father for his child.❞

In another narration, the wording is: ❝and the supplication of a father against his son.❞

Broken hearted parents only supplicate against their children when driven completely to the wall, and naturally, a supplication arising from the bottom of one’s heart stands the best chance of being answered by Allaah. But instead, the parents should be patient, and supplicate for their children instead of against them. They should supplicate to Allaah for their guidance and to set their affairs straight.

It is Allaah’s Mercy, Forbearance, and Kindness that He تعالى does not answer the erroneous supplications made by the people in haste or when angry, especially the supplications of the angry parents against their children, as Allaah تعالى said:

﴿وَيَدْعُ الْإِنسَانُ بِالشَّرِّ دُعَاءَهُ بِالْخَيْرِ ۖ وَكَانَ الْإِنسَانُ عَجُولًا﴾
{And man invokes (Allaah) for evil as he invokes (Allaah) for good and man is ever hasty (i.e., if he is angry with somebody, he invokes (saying): “O Allaah! Curse him etc.” and that one should not do, but one should be patient)}

Allaah تعالى also said:
﴿وَلَوْ يُعَجِّلُ اللَّهُ لِلنَّاسِ الشَّرَّ اسْتِعْجَالَهُم بِالْخَيْرِ لَقُضِيَ إِلَيْهِمْ أَجَلُهُمْ ۖ فَنَذَرُ الَّذِينَ لَا يَرْجُونَ لِقَاءَنَا فِي طُغْيَانِهِمْ يَعْمَهُونَ﴾
{And were Allaah to hasten for mankind the evil (they invoke for themselves and for their children, etc. while in a state of anger) as He hastens for them the good (they invoke) then they would have been ruined. So, We leave those who expect not their meeting with Us, in their trespasses, wandering blindly in distraction}

Al-Haafidh Ibn Katheer رحمه الله said: “Here Allaah tells us of His Forbearance and Kindness towards His slaves, for He تعالى does not respond to their supplications them when they pray against themselves or their wealth, or their children during times of grief or anger. He تعالى knows that they do not truly intend evil for themselves so He تعالى doesn’t respond to them out of kindness and mercy, as He does when they pray for themselves or their wealth or their children for goodness, blessing, and growth. Had He تعالى responded to all of their evil requests, He تعالى would have destroyed them. However, people should avoid praying for evil as much as they can.”

And the Prophet ﷺ said: ❝Do not pray against yourselves, do not pray against your children, do not pray against your wealth - lest that (your supplication) coincides with a time when Allaah is asked and He provides - and He grants your request.❞

📚[from the forth coming book, In shaa Allaah, “A Lesson In Patience, From The Beautiful Name Of Allaah: ❝Al-Haleem❞”]

🟩 Encourage The Children With Gifts

• Tarbiyatul Awlaad

A child can never repay their mother for the affair of childbirth.

If a child cries at night, the mother leaves her warm bed & sleep to comfort the baby in every way possible...

What makes u think that when u cry to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى‎ He wont answer ur duas? He loves u MUCH MORE THAN UR MOTHER for Hes Al Waduud (the Most Loving)

Prophet (sallal lahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Allah is more merciful to His believing servants than that mother could ever be to her child.” [Bukhari 10/426 & Muslim 18/80]

So call on Al Waduud in this blessed month and have no doubt that He will respond that He will aid u <3

An advice to those couples who have recently become parents and want to do Islamic upbringing of their child. They must know that the society that this child will be becoming a part of, in future, is built on concepts and ethos, which are in total contradiction of what they will be teaching and instilling in him/her. Infact he/she will be witnessing things which are 180 degree to what's taught. If that child only receives religious information and rulings, without the most necessary confidence (of being a Muslim) and self esteem, then that child is going to go into severe identity crisis after growing up and getting inducted into society, and infact is bound to have inferiority complex. I'm saying this from observation and interaction. So please, along with teaching your child Islam, make sure you instill magnificent confidence in that child. Make sure that child is inspired and turns out to be a confident Muslim who has strong will power and moral courage and strength to fight off the counter wave. The counter wave is horribly strong, maliciously attractive, frighteningly irresistible and merciless & atrocious. And believe me. The role of father in all this is indispensable. He has to be the hero. He has to be the ideal. He has to be the friend. No choice.

Parents need to be aware about the #MomoChallenge. The game involves challenges that encourage teenagers/ children / any other user to engage in series of violent acts as challenges of the game. Kindly share and spread awareness. #FortisAdvisory

Teach ur daughter Haya from a young age

Its sad when u see little Muslim children who can sing songs but dont know to recite a Surah

Little girls who can tell u all about the latest fashion trends but dont know the purpose of Hijaab

Litts girls who know all about makeup & getting nails done but nothing about wudoo & haya

Little boys who know all about video games & footy players but can't name any Sahaaba or Prophet

Muslim kids who know the latest movies but dont know any story from the Quran

And when these kids become teenagers & go out at night, start taking drugs & run away & fall into haraam

Do NOT blame anyone but YOUR PARENTING.

Instill the DEEN & TAWHEED in ur child from a young age for u will be questioned about them on Judgement Day

That is the key to their success.

"O You who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded" [Surah at Tahreem: 6]

Children birthdays.

Whoever pays no attention to teaching his child that which will benefit him... then he is extremely sinful.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗟𝗶𝘁 𝗮 𝗟𝗮𝗺𝗽 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗨𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗵
__

Once upon a time, a young man passed by an apple orchard and, driven by intense hunger, ate an apple without the owner's knowledge. When he returned home, his conscience began to trouble him, so he went to seek out the orchard's owner.

He admitted to the owner: "Yesterday, I was extremely hungry and ate an apple from your orchard without your permission. Today, I have come to seek your forgiveness."

The owner replied: "By God, I will not forgive you. I will be your opponent on the Day of Judgment before Allah!"

The young man pleaded for forgiveness, but the owner remained adamant and left him. The young man followed him to his house and waited outside until the owner came out for asr prayer.

When he found the young man still waiting, the young man said: "Uncle, I am willing to work for you as a farmer without any wages if you will forgive me."

The owner replied: "I will forgive you on one condition: you must marry my daughter. However, she is blind, deaf, mute, and crippled. If you agree, I will forgive you."

The young man agreed to marry his daughter.

A few days later, the young man, with a sad heart, knocked on the door and entered. The owner said: "Come in and meet your wife." To his surprise, he found a girl more beautiful than the moon. She stood up, walked to him, and greeted him. Understanding his confusion, she explained:

"I am blind from looking at forbidden things, mute from speaking forbidden words, deaf from listening to forbidden things, and crippled because my feet do not step towards forbidden things. My father sought a pious husband for me. When you came seeking forgiveness for an apple and wept over it, my father said: 'He who fears eating an apple unlawfully is surely one who will fear Allah concerning my daughter.' So, congratulations to me for having you as a husband, and congratulations to my father for having you as a son-in-law."

A year later, she gave birth to a boy who would become one of the most distinguished figures of this ummah: 𝗮𝗹-𝗜𝗺𝗮̄𝗺 𝗔𝗯𝘂̄ 𝗛𝗮𝗻𝗶̄𝗳𝗮𝗵 رحمه الله.

Sometimes, the faults in our children are a direct result of our failures as parents.

So when your child misbehaves or displays negative traits, don't be so quick to chastise him or her. Instead, look at yourself and how your own actions or inactions, and your own words or silences, have contributed to this in your child.

Parents shape their children.

Often, children are simply reflections of their parents.

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Women are always made sure to be treated with kindness and respect in Islam.. we hold a high honor with our Lord

Shaykh Abdur Razzaq Ibn Abdul Muhsin al-Abbaad ‏حفظه الله:

"The importance of the woman can be demonstrated by the tasks and hardships that she is burdened with, some of which exceed those that are carried out by men.

For this reason it is extremely important to thank your mother, treat her kindly and live with her in honor, furthermore, she has precedence over the father in all of that."

[Attributes of the Righteous Wife| pg. 65]

✍🏻 Serve Your Parents

Prophet Muḥammad Ṣallallāhu-ʿAlaihi Wa Sallam said: “May he be disgraced, may he be disgraced, may he be disgraced!!”, he was asked: “Who, O Messenger of Allāh?”, he replied: “The one who finds his parents, or one of them, in old age and then he enters Hellfire (by not serving them)!!”

● [الأدب المفرد للبخاري ٢١]

Spending for the Sake of Allah

Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-Uthaymeen said:

"If you spend on your children, or spend on your mother and father, or even if you spend on yourself seeking the pleasure of Allah, then Allah will reward you for that."

📚(Sharh Riyad al-Saliheen, Vol. 1, p. 45).

Make your daughter to wear full dress.

Dont say 'Hi' or 'Goodmorning' or 'Sabah al Khayr' to ur child when they wake up or when u pick them up from school. Say 'Assalaamu Alaikum'.

Teach them to say Salam to their friends & siblings as well. Spread love in ur kids by teaching them to say the proper Salaam.

Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: "Should I not inform you of something that, if you were to do it, would cause you to love one another? Spread the salaam between yourselves" [Saheeh Muslim]

Dear fathers, please express love and affection to your daughters. It satiates their mind enough to be more purposeful and realistic about love. Many young ladies who were deprived of love while growing up become emotional destitutes that are easily moved by the slightest show of affection.

Call them by sweet and beautiful names; love, dear, pumpkin, and their alternatives in your local dialect, or give them endearing kunyas (nicknames). TELL THEM how much you love and adore them, how much they mean to you and how much you trust them. There is a reason I said fathers in particular. The oedipus complex makes your daughters have a special kind of regard for you so that love and affection from you has a different impact on them. You are the very first masculine standard for your daughters. Please don't set the bar too low for just any riff-raff to scale.

Some young ladies jump into relationships because they never experienced what it is like to be a man's emotional priority; to be at the center of a man's thoughts, to feel important in a man's presence. Any guy that shows them a similitude of this, even if fake, is automatically considered lovely and worthy of their attention. If some women had received abundant show of affection from their fathers they may not have made the wrong choice for a husband.

Even if you are a stern father, please make some exceptions for your daughters. While still scolding and reprimanding them for their wrong, be softer and more forgiving towards them. Let them really enjoy your company as much as you can afford.

A father should be his daughter's first love.

Abu Imrān

Revive this Sunnah

Hadith on Kids:
Anas reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, would visit the homes of the Ansar, greet their children with peace, pat their heads, and supplicate on their behalf.

Source: al-Sunan al-Kubrá lil-Nasā’ī 8028

A conversation between me and a non-Muslim acquaintance on parenting:

She asked me, "I know that you're raising your kids without TV, without daycare or nannies or public school. You're homeschooling, which is fine...But how can you expect your kids to have an understanding of the world if they only see the world through your eyes? You can absolutely control what they see and how they interpret things, but that puts them at a disadvantage when they do get out into the real world."

My response: I get what you're saying. I hear this exact question raised routinely by my MIL, lol. Sheltering bad, exposure good.

The answer is this: It all has to do with timing. WHEN do I plan to shelter my kids, and for how long? When do I plan to expose my kids, and how?

My hope is to shelter my kids in the first stage of life, showing them the world through my lens (every parent's right and prerogative as a parent!). I want to set a solid foundation for them of truth, strong character, good morals, refined manners, gracious and kind social etiquette, the rules governing interactions with people, etc. I feel like some parents (of course not all!) leave this crucial work of character-building and instilling of values for others to take care of: sometimes TV/Hollywood/ Disney, other times nannies/ daycare/ babysitters, or teachers at school, etc.

Again, I'm not knocking other families' lifestyles or decisions. To each their own. But for my own kids, I'd like to be the one to teach my kids these ideas and instill in them these important values, especially early on as their personalities and habits and thoughts form. I don't want my young, innocent kids exposed to the vulgarities of modern life just yet, as infants, toddlers, and young children. I want to shelter them AT THIS AGE from foul language/ swearing/ cursing, vulgar or sexualized images that are increasingly available on devices (esp of other kids/ older kids, etc), and from bad manners, such as other kids disrespecting their parents or brazenly mocking or disobeying their elders. Call me old school. I don't want my young kids learning any of these types of behaviors. I don't want them even witnessing them at this age. Seeing the same thing repeatedly leads to overexposure and desensitization and utter apathy.

Then, as the kids get older, the sheltering slowly gives way to more exposure, in incremental steps. I talk to them more and more about other people and what they do, what they believe and why, and the differences between people. We are already in this stage now, especially with my older 2 kids. We talk A LOT about incidents that we see while we're out and about, at the park / mall/ play date/ library/ store. They ask their endless questions and I answer and explain, explain, explain.

Then, as they enter their teenage years and older, of course they will branch out and do their own thing. No more influence from mom or dad. In fact, they might to try and distance themselves from us as adolescence sets in (sad but often true).

I want to expose them to the "real world," to very different people and practices and beliefs, but gradually, carefully, when they can process it without internalizing it as the default. Without the dogma of the "real world" becoming normative. I want to first give them a pure lens through which to see the realities of the "real world."

I will teach them about the world and its vastness, but on my terms. Not the world's. I want to expose them to things they will later encounter, but to warn them of the pitfalls that lay ahead and to guide them through them. To point out to them the potential problems so that they might avoid them, instead of falling face first into them.

I certainly have heard of the case of the overly-strict parent of the overly-sheltered kid, who goes nuts the first time he is loosed upon the "real world." Usually this type of scenario involves a kid leaving home for the first time ever and going to college with zero knowledge of what to expect or how to navigate it.

Delirious with newfound freedom, this naive kid falls flat on his face in a cesspool of alcohol, drugs, and sex.

So I'm not trying to delude myself into thinking I'll shelter my kids forever, or tie them to me eternally. No such delusions here. They will be their own people in time. But it's my job to shape them and train them up to be good human beings with solid character and strong morals, while they are under my care. It's my job to prepare them to face off with the real world so they have a chance, God willing.

The most important part of this training occurs in the small, unassuming window of the very early years. Right now.