Choosing a good mother for your children is more important than choosing a beautiful wife for yourself. Choosing a good father for your children is important than choosing a rich husband for yourself.
Choose the honest, the kind, the truthful, those who defend Allah and His deen, those who love Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his sunnah more than they love you.
Very few understand this.
And fewer practice this.
Choose the honest, the kind, the truthful, those who defend Allah and His deen, those who love Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his sunnah more than they love you.
Very few understand this.
And fewer practice this.
💯29⚡21👍6
|| What remains a Sadaqa Jaariyah?
Anas Ibn Maalik (radiyAllahu anhuma) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said,
The reward of seven things continue after a person passes away whilst he is in his grave:
• Knowledge he taught,
• a river he made,
• a well he dug,
• a tree he planted,
• a masjid he built,
• a copy of the Qur’aan he left behind and
• a child who asks forgiveness for him.
Bayhaqi (rahimahullah) in Shu’ab al-Imaan, 3/248; Abu Nu’aym (رحمه الله تعالى) in Hilyatul Awliyaa’, 2/344. Graded as hasan by al-Albaani (رحمه الله تعالى) in his Sahih aj-Jami’ as-Saghīr, no. 3602.
Anas Ibn Maalik (radiyAllahu anhuma) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said,
The reward of seven things continue after a person passes away whilst he is in his grave:
• Knowledge he taught,
• a river he made,
• a well he dug,
• a tree he planted,
• a masjid he built,
• a copy of the Qur’aan he left behind and
• a child who asks forgiveness for him.
Bayhaqi (rahimahullah) in Shu’ab al-Imaan, 3/248; Abu Nu’aym (رحمه الله تعالى) in Hilyatul Awliyaa’, 2/344. Graded as hasan by al-Albaani (رحمه الله تعالى) in his Sahih aj-Jami’ as-Saghīr, no. 3602.
👍18💯2
Forwarded from Authentic Duas
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Power of Istighfar Subhan'Allaah!
Hold on to Istighfar and see how your life changes bi'iznillaah.
Hold on to Istighfar and see how your life changes bi'iznillaah.
💯6👍5⚡4
Can’t put your personal business on social media & your children pics then complain about the evil eye! Everything is not for everyone to know!
💯14👍4
Forwarded from Muslim Marriage Tips
Allāh's Messenger (may Allāh honour him and grant him peace) mentioned,
"So give every possessor of a right, his due right."(MOTHER)
[Saheeh al-Bukharee]
https://x.com/markazmuaadh/status/1333895986649964544
"So give every possessor of a right, his due right."(MOTHER)
[Saheeh al-Bukharee]
https://x.com/markazmuaadh/status/1333895986649964544
💯6👍4
Parenting
by Abdullah Ansari
Parenting with Purpose: Connection Over Consumption
Parenting isn’t about pleasing kids. It’s not a function of earning enough money to grant them their wishes. It’s neither about ensuring that whatever your parents couldn’t afford for you in your childhood, you’ll get it for your kids. If this is your ‘parenting goal’ and you’re ready to put endless hours in work to realize this ‘dream’, you’re missing the whole point of parenting.
Moreover, decision of buying anything for kids should not have a binary relationship with your financial capacity i.e. if you can afford it, you’ll buy it. There should be more questions attached to buying decision. For example, does my kid really need it? Is it good for them? Is it going to add any value to their skillset? etc.
Similarly, buying decision shouldn’t be linked with how much hue and cry your kid is making for a particular toy. Kids throw tantrums and parents use their defense mechanism of patience to a certain point, and after that, they give in. Once kid has got that toy, it’s now even harder to take it back from them even if parents realize that it’s not good for the kid. My daughter got a barbie doll as a gift on her birthday, and we weren’t sure about it. We let her play with barbie doll and in matter of few days, we realized that our concerns were valid. We had to take it back from her and it wasn’t easy. She took almost a week to get over that and it required continuous consultation, explaining her why barbie doll isn’t a good toy for her.
Kids are innocent and they don’t bury things deep in their hearts. They move on quick, and parents need to understand that refusing a toy isn’t going to have any scar on their kid’s mental health. Haven’t you observed how kids treat toys within a few days of arrival? Something that they weren’t even ready to detach from themselves while sleeping last week, is now lying around the corner and they don’t even look at it. They want something new now. They’ve moved on.
So dear parents, don’t exhaust yourself in pursuit of money. Come out of this misunderstanding that providing materialistic enjoyment is prime responsibility of parents. No, it’s not. Rather, spend your time with them. Fill it with quality stuff like telling stories, walk around the block, playing card games, etc. That’s the way you build connection with them, and this connection allows you to instill the right values. This bond empowers you to nurture their soul and raise them up on the path of righteousness.
by Abdullah Ansari
Parenting with Purpose: Connection Over Consumption
Parenting isn’t about pleasing kids. It’s not a function of earning enough money to grant them their wishes. It’s neither about ensuring that whatever your parents couldn’t afford for you in your childhood, you’ll get it for your kids. If this is your ‘parenting goal’ and you’re ready to put endless hours in work to realize this ‘dream’, you’re missing the whole point of parenting.
Moreover, decision of buying anything for kids should not have a binary relationship with your financial capacity i.e. if you can afford it, you’ll buy it. There should be more questions attached to buying decision. For example, does my kid really need it? Is it good for them? Is it going to add any value to their skillset? etc.
Similarly, buying decision shouldn’t be linked with how much hue and cry your kid is making for a particular toy. Kids throw tantrums and parents use their defense mechanism of patience to a certain point, and after that, they give in. Once kid has got that toy, it’s now even harder to take it back from them even if parents realize that it’s not good for the kid. My daughter got a barbie doll as a gift on her birthday, and we weren’t sure about it. We let her play with barbie doll and in matter of few days, we realized that our concerns were valid. We had to take it back from her and it wasn’t easy. She took almost a week to get over that and it required continuous consultation, explaining her why barbie doll isn’t a good toy for her.
Kids are innocent and they don’t bury things deep in their hearts. They move on quick, and parents need to understand that refusing a toy isn’t going to have any scar on their kid’s mental health. Haven’t you observed how kids treat toys within a few days of arrival? Something that they weren’t even ready to detach from themselves while sleeping last week, is now lying around the corner and they don’t even look at it. They want something new now. They’ve moved on.
So dear parents, don’t exhaust yourself in pursuit of money. Come out of this misunderstanding that providing materialistic enjoyment is prime responsibility of parents. No, it’s not. Rather, spend your time with them. Fill it with quality stuff like telling stories, walk around the block, playing card games, etc. That’s the way you build connection with them, and this connection allows you to instill the right values. This bond empowers you to nurture their soul and raise them up on the path of righteousness.
👍21💯6
Forwarded from Muslim Marriage Tips
There are lessons in the Qur'ān for everyone
▪️Righteous children Vs. Oppressive parents
- [Ibrāhīm عليه السلام with his father]
▪️Righteous parents Vs. Oppressive children
- [Nūḥ عليه السلام with his son]
▪️Righteous husband Vs. Oppressive wife
- [Lūt عليه السلام with his wife]
▪️Righteous wife Vs. Oppressive husband
- [Āsiyah رحمها الله with her husband ]
▪️Righteous sibling Vs. Oppressive siblings
- [Yūsuf with his brothers]
▪️Righteous children Vs. Oppressive parents
- [Ibrāhīm عليه السلام with his father]
▪️Righteous parents Vs. Oppressive children
- [Nūḥ عليه السلام with his son]
▪️Righteous husband Vs. Oppressive wife
- [Lūt عليه السلام with his wife]
▪️Righteous wife Vs. Oppressive husband
- [Āsiyah رحمها الله with her husband ]
▪️Righteous sibling Vs. Oppressive siblings
- [Yūsuf with his brothers]
💯20👍9
Do not make shouting and spanking the only forms of discipline for your kids, showing them how much stronger and more aggressive you are, MORE THAN focusing on educating them and helping them understand how things work.
Kids make a lot of mistakes. They don’t have the capacity to understand things as we do, so why treat these little humans with so much aggression? Even we, as adults, commit mistakes every day. Would we love to be approached with aggression and be yelled at when we don’t know what to do and when we are struggling to regulate our emotions?
I get it. We get overwhelmed and overstimulated.
But they are not meant to carry your problems.
A parenting counselor once said, “Parenting is regulating our own emotions more than our kids.”
Let’s break the generational curse of raising kids in an environment where being verbally abused, shouted at is their daily experience, and spanking is the ONLY way to make them behave.
Let’s ask ourselves,
Do we sit with them enough and educate them? Do we play with them enough to build connection? Do we give them enough undivided attention to make them feel seen and heard?
We expect kids to control their behavior and emotions when we aren’t even modeling that for them. Children are literally the reflection of their parents. What you show them, they imitate those.
Your kids need a healthy parent, so work on yourself slowly, and kindly, rather than putting them through punishment after punishment just to satisfy your inner issues.
They may grow up okay and not built resentment against you but they will surely struggle how to cope up with things, how to handle their guilt, how they will handle their emotions, and how to deal with people.
Your children will not remember the gifts you gave them and how much you spent for them but rather how YOU made them feel.
Kids make a lot of mistakes. They don’t have the capacity to understand things as we do, so why treat these little humans with so much aggression? Even we, as adults, commit mistakes every day. Would we love to be approached with aggression and be yelled at when we don’t know what to do and when we are struggling to regulate our emotions?
I get it. We get overwhelmed and overstimulated.
But they are not meant to carry your problems.
A parenting counselor once said, “Parenting is regulating our own emotions more than our kids.”
Let’s break the generational curse of raising kids in an environment where being verbally abused, shouted at is their daily experience, and spanking is the ONLY way to make them behave.
Let’s ask ourselves,
Do we sit with them enough and educate them? Do we play with them enough to build connection? Do we give them enough undivided attention to make them feel seen and heard?
We expect kids to control their behavior and emotions when we aren’t even modeling that for them. Children are literally the reflection of their parents. What you show them, they imitate those.
Your kids need a healthy parent, so work on yourself slowly, and kindly, rather than putting them through punishment after punishment just to satisfy your inner issues.
They may grow up okay and not built resentment against you but they will surely struggle how to cope up with things, how to handle their guilt, how they will handle their emotions, and how to deal with people.
Your children will not remember the gifts you gave them and how much you spent for them but rather how YOU made them feel.
👍22💯6
The Prophet ﷺ would seek refuge for his grandsons Hasan and Husayn, saying, “Verily, your forefather would seek refuge for Ishmael and Isaac. I seek refuge in the perfect words of Allah from every devil and scourge and every harmful eye.”
Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 3371
كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُعَوِّذُ الْحَسَنَ وَالْحُسَيْنَ وَيَقُولُ إِنَّ أَبَاكُمَا كَانَ يُعَوِّذُ بِهَا إِسْمَاعِيلَ وَإِسْحَاقَ أَعُوذُ بِكَلِمَاتِ اللَّهِ التَّامَّةِ مِنْ كُلِّ شَيْطَانٍ وَهَامَّةٍ وَمِنْ كُلِّ عَيْنٍ لَامَّةٍ
3371 صحيح البخاري كتاب أحاديث الأنبياء باب قول الله تعالى واتخذ الله إبراهيم خليلا
Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 3371
كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُعَوِّذُ الْحَسَنَ وَالْحُسَيْنَ وَيَقُولُ إِنَّ أَبَاكُمَا كَانَ يُعَوِّذُ بِهَا إِسْمَاعِيلَ وَإِسْحَاقَ أَعُوذُ بِكَلِمَاتِ اللَّهِ التَّامَّةِ مِنْ كُلِّ شَيْطَانٍ وَهَامَّةٍ وَمِنْ كُلِّ عَيْنٍ لَامَّةٍ
3371 صحيح البخاري كتاب أحاديث الأنبياء باب قول الله تعالى واتخذ الله إبراهيم خليلا
👍12💯2⚡1
Sh Ibn Uthaymeen said:
لِتَعْلَم المرأة أنَّ ما يُصيبُها مِن أذًى وأَلَم فِي حال الحمل أو عند الوضع أو في الحضانة بعد ذلك فإنما هو رِفْعَةٌ في درجاتها وكفَّارة لسيئاتِها إذا احْتسَبَتْ هذا على الله سبحانه وتعالى
"𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝘆, 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵, 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗳 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝘁."
(فتاوى نور على الدرب ج11ص280).
لِتَعْلَم المرأة أنَّ ما يُصيبُها مِن أذًى وأَلَم فِي حال الحمل أو عند الوضع أو في الحضانة بعد ذلك فإنما هو رِفْعَةٌ في درجاتها وكفَّارة لسيئاتِها إذا احْتسَبَتْ هذا على الله سبحانه وتعالى
"𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀 𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗻𝗰𝘆, 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗯𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵, 𝗼𝗿 𝗿𝗮𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮 𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗳 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗲𝗸𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗚𝗼𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝘁."
(فتاوى نور على الدرب ج11ص280).
👍23💯7⚡3
Dear Parents,
If your children are 10 years and younger please teach them these two simple acts of worship. I am personally making a dedicated effort to do the same this year.
I am also working on making 2 behavioural changes in myself as a guardian and someone who spends a lot of time with kids.
💕 1st Act of Worship - To prolong sitting on the prayer mat/Mussalla.
Our kids finish their prayer and want to run away. Or start chatting with me about Minecraft or 5 minute craft videos that they get to watch. That's just kids being kids.
I gently encourage them to sit and remind them to make the 33,33,34 dhikr.
Then they recite Ayatul Kursi.
Then they recite Sayyidul Istaghfar. (Once in the morning and then after maghrib)
Then 3 simple duas - For Knowledge, For Parents and Dua Rasool Allah ﷺ made the most.
Rabbi zidni ilman
Rabbir hum huma..
Rabbana atina..
This will initially take some effort, reminding and encouragement. But then it becomes a habit for them and you won’t have to remind. I do a quick check and they list out everything they have done – alhumdulillah!
💕 2nd Act of Worship – To forgive and hug siblings after a fight.
A lot of pain in our life comes from fights and disagreements with our siblings as we grow older. And a simple daily reminder to forgive your sibling, to hug them, to say sorry, to kiss them goes a long way.
Recently the brothers had a spat and the younger one was crying. The eldest stood there watching him cry. I requested him to console his younger brother and since he is a kid he didn’t know how.
He asked me how? Or Kya karoon?
I then realized kids don’t know these things and as guardians and parents it’s our job to teach them.
I asked him to hug his little brother, to rub his back and pat his head. Tell him it’s okay. Ask him if he wants to start playing again. And within 30 seconds of the eldest giving that “touch of comfort and reassuring words” the tears were gone and they were back to playing like nothing happened.
How many of us are adults and have no idea how to comfort others or how important “TOUCH” is in our life. A recent study showed that humans need 12 HUGS A DAY for growth and a good mental health.
Sometimes we overlook these little spats or fights between siblings thinking - it’s normal – kids fight. But in those very moments we overlook the opportunity of teaching them “how to be there for each other”.
The gift of family and siblings is one of the greatest gift this life has to offer. And if we fail to teach our children how to love each other, how to comfort each other, how to trust each other, how to talk to each other, how to be there for each other we have failed at being caretakers.
I keep teaching them the importance of being kind and the importance of adaab. My ultimate dream is to help teach our children to be the kindest and most compassionate human beings inshaAllah.
❝He who is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness.❞
- Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
[Muslim]
✍️1st Behavioural Change in myself: Body Language and words matter.
I realized I would get angry or upset when kids refused to pray Salaah. Also noticed their prayers would be “extra fast” when I wasn’t around monitoring. I had to consciously move away from talking about “fearing Allah” and correcting my facial expressions and body language. Yep kids notice all of it.
I stopped saying:
► Allah will get upset.
► Allah will punish you.
► Allah is going to ask about Salaah as first question on the day of judgment.
I also started keeping shaytan away from conversations.
Realized that’s too heavy for children on a daily basis. We did teach them about punishment of Allah, about hell fire, about salaah being the first question.
But to keep repeating that daily would scar a child for sure.
I started saying these instead…
If your children are 10 years and younger please teach them these two simple acts of worship. I am personally making a dedicated effort to do the same this year.
I am also working on making 2 behavioural changes in myself as a guardian and someone who spends a lot of time with kids.
💕 1st Act of Worship - To prolong sitting on the prayer mat/Mussalla.
Our kids finish their prayer and want to run away. Or start chatting with me about Minecraft or 5 minute craft videos that they get to watch. That's just kids being kids.
I gently encourage them to sit and remind them to make the 33,33,34 dhikr.
Then they recite Ayatul Kursi.
Then they recite Sayyidul Istaghfar. (Once in the morning and then after maghrib)
Then 3 simple duas - For Knowledge, For Parents and Dua Rasool Allah ﷺ made the most.
Rabbi zidni ilman
Rabbir hum huma..
Rabbana atina..
This will initially take some effort, reminding and encouragement. But then it becomes a habit for them and you won’t have to remind. I do a quick check and they list out everything they have done – alhumdulillah!
💕 2nd Act of Worship – To forgive and hug siblings after a fight.
A lot of pain in our life comes from fights and disagreements with our siblings as we grow older. And a simple daily reminder to forgive your sibling, to hug them, to say sorry, to kiss them goes a long way.
Recently the brothers had a spat and the younger one was crying. The eldest stood there watching him cry. I requested him to console his younger brother and since he is a kid he didn’t know how.
He asked me how? Or Kya karoon?
I then realized kids don’t know these things and as guardians and parents it’s our job to teach them.
I asked him to hug his little brother, to rub his back and pat his head. Tell him it’s okay. Ask him if he wants to start playing again. And within 30 seconds of the eldest giving that “touch of comfort and reassuring words” the tears were gone and they were back to playing like nothing happened.
How many of us are adults and have no idea how to comfort others or how important “TOUCH” is in our life. A recent study showed that humans need 12 HUGS A DAY for growth and a good mental health.
Sometimes we overlook these little spats or fights between siblings thinking - it’s normal – kids fight. But in those very moments we overlook the opportunity of teaching them “how to be there for each other”.
The gift of family and siblings is one of the greatest gift this life has to offer. And if we fail to teach our children how to love each other, how to comfort each other, how to trust each other, how to talk to each other, how to be there for each other we have failed at being caretakers.
I keep teaching them the importance of being kind and the importance of adaab. My ultimate dream is to help teach our children to be the kindest and most compassionate human beings inshaAllah.
❝He who is deprived of kindness is deprived of goodness.❞
- Prophet Muhammad ﷺ
[Muslim]
✍️1st Behavioural Change in myself: Body Language and words matter.
I realized I would get angry or upset when kids refused to pray Salaah. Also noticed their prayers would be “extra fast” when I wasn’t around monitoring. I had to consciously move away from talking about “fearing Allah” and correcting my facial expressions and body language. Yep kids notice all of it.
I stopped saying:
► Allah will get upset.
► Allah will punish you.
► Allah is going to ask about Salaah as first question on the day of judgment.
I also started keeping shaytan away from conversations.
Realized that’s too heavy for children on a daily basis. We did teach them about punishment of Allah, about hell fire, about salaah being the first question.
But to keep repeating that daily would scar a child for sure.
I started saying these instead…
👍21⚡3