Abū Ishāq Al-Jubnayānī رحمه الله said:

“Do not allow anyone to teach your children except a man upright in his religion!

For the child’s religion is based on the religion of his teacher!”

[Tartīb Al-Madārik: 2/157]

Be dutiful to your parents

It's important to realise that as parents and siblings you must refrain from mentioning your child's or sibling's flaws to others especially their inlaws. This causes lot of embarassment to your child or sibling. How would you feel if your flaws, embarassing moments were shared with others? This is a prevalent issue in some culture. No one has the right to cross someone else's personal boundaries. No matter it's your own child, sibling or spouse. Donot mention the flaws of another person without a just cause (where it's necessary to disclose or in case of crime/abuse) no matter how close or stranger they are to you. Most often it's unnecessary because people just need something to talk or gossip about. Sometimes people gossip or backbite to bond with others and prove their friendliness, innocence or superiority. And what better way to kill their time and energy than to talk about someone's weak moments.

Teach your children the Qur'ān! ⚠️

From the methods that will aid one in establishing the love for the Qur'ān in the heart of a child is the following :

1. Surround your child with the Qur'ān from the moment they are born. And this is done by the parents rectifying themselves initially and attaching their hearts to the Qur'ān, establishing a household in which the Qur'ān is constantly recited and played. And from the most important of this is the duty of the mother in this affair, as the children will spend majority of their day with her - so she herself must be amongst those who strive in memorising and reciting the Qur'ān.

“And the child memorizes whatever he encounters; and he does not forget, his heart is like a pure jewel.
So inscribe in his heart what you will of information, no doubt, he will retain it with his proficient memory.”

📖Book: My Sincere Advice to the Women by Umm ‘Abdillah Al-Waadi’iyyah pg. 109

2. Do not think your child is too young to be memorising. A child from the moment they begin to speak, have the ability to flourish and strive in memorising. It is not a must that a child completes the Qaaidah and must be able to read, rather from the best means in memorising is having the child listen ( either to you or a proficient reciter) and repeat after them.

3. As your child grows older, encourage independance in their hifdth. Allow them to memorise alone so that the love for the Qur'ān can be firmly established in their hearts and ask Allāh to aid you upon nurturing your child correctly.

4. Reward your child constantly for the portions they memorise and remind them of the high status of the carriers of the Qur'ān.

If a mother never learns her religion, how can she teach the next generation? A woman is a school. If you teach her, you teach an entire generation.🤍

✅ Allah the Almighty knows best.
Righteous Muslim parents generally bring up children with excellent manners who genuinely enjoy learning more about Islam or at least their offsprings and teenagers avoid bullying and disrupting others' peace; while parents who lack interest in being pious Muslims themselves typically raise kids who mistreat, bully, steal, gossip and disrespect other individuals frequently.

If you want to know a person's overall attitude and personality, observe how their child/children deal with people in general and their behavior towards you - are they kind and well-mannered or do most of their unbecoming acts and naughtiness bother you consistently?

Choosing a good mother for your children is more important than choosing a beautiful wife for yourself. Choosing a good father for your children is important than choosing a rich husband for yourself.

Choose the honest, the kind, the truthful, those who defend Allah and His deen, those who love Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his sunnah more than they love you.

Very few understand this.
And fewer practice this.

|| What remains a Sadaqa Jaariyah?

Anas Ibn Maalik (radiyAllahu anhuma) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said,

The reward of seven things continue after a person passes away whilst he is in his grave:

• Knowledge he taught,
• a river he made,
• a well he dug,
• a tree he planted,
• a masjid he built,
• a copy of the Qur’aan he left behind and
• a child who asks forgiveness for him.

Bayhaqi (rahimahullah) in Shu’ab al-Imaan, 3/248; Abu Nu’aym (رحمه الله تعالى) in Hilyatul Awliyaa’, 2/344. Graded as hasan by al-Albaani (رحمه الله تعالى) in his Sahih aj-Jami’ as-Saghīr, no. 3602.

May Allah grant my father a house in Jannah Aameen.

Imām Aḥmad رحمه الله said:

“Being good/dutiful to parents is an expiation for major sins.”
● [غذاء الألباب ١\٢٨٩]

Power of Istighfar Subhan'Allaah!

Hold on to Istighfar and see how your life changes bi'iznillaah.

When was the last time you thanked your parents?

The effect a mother has on her child is immeasurable.

Mothers, take your job of loving and raising your child as your most sacred priority in life, and inshaAllah you'll be rewarded with a beautiful, enduring bond with a healthy, balanced believer in this life, and with Jannah in the next.

Allāh's Messenger (may Allāh honour him and grant him peace) mentioned,
"So give every possessor of a right, his due right."(MOTHER)
[Saheeh al-Bukharee]

https://x.com/markazmuaadh/status/1333895986649964544

Parenting

by Abdullah Ansari

Parenting with Purpose: Connection Over Consumption

Parenting isn’t about pleasing kids. It’s not a function of earning enough money to grant them their wishes. It’s neither about ensuring that whatever your parents couldn’t afford for you in your childhood, you’ll get it for your kids. If this is your ‘parenting goal’ and you’re ready to put endless hours in work to realize this ‘dream’, you’re missing the whole point of parenting.

Moreover, decision of buying anything for kids should not have a binary relationship with your financial capacity i.e. if you can afford it, you’ll buy it. There should be more questions attached to buying decision. For example, does my kid really need it? Is it good for them? Is it going to add any value to their skillset? etc.

Similarly, buying decision shouldn’t be linked with how much hue and cry your kid is making for a particular toy. Kids throw tantrums and parents use their defense mechanism of patience to a certain point, and after that, they give in. Once kid has got that toy, it’s now even harder to take it back from them even if parents realize that it’s not good for the kid. My daughter got a barbie doll as a gift on her birthday, and we weren’t sure about it. We let her play with barbie doll and in matter of few days, we realized that our concerns were valid. We had to take it back from her and it wasn’t easy. She took almost a week to get over that and it required continuous consultation, explaining her why barbie doll isn’t a good toy for her.

Kids are innocent and they don’t bury things deep in their hearts. They move on quick, and parents need to understand that refusing a toy isn’t going to have any scar on their kid’s mental health. Haven’t you observed how kids treat toys within a few days of arrival? Something that they weren’t even ready to detach from themselves while sleeping last week, is now lying around the corner and they don’t even look at it. They want something new now. They’ve moved on.

So dear parents, don’t exhaust yourself in pursuit of money. Come out of this misunderstanding that providing materialistic enjoyment is prime responsibility of parents. No, it’s not. Rather, spend your time with them. Fill it with quality stuff like telling stories, walk around the block, playing card games, etc. That’s the way you build connection with them, and this connection allows you to instill the right values. This bond empowers you to nurture their soul and raise them up on the path of righteousness.