If a child can do advanced math, speak 3 languages, or receive top grades, but can't manage their emotions, practice conflict resolution, or handle stress, none of that other stuff is really going to matter.
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Saw a brother today take a phone call from his mother. As soon as he saw her name on his mobile screen, he sat upright, cleared his throat, and answered the phone with a smile saying “السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته amar shunar mayzi” - which loosely translates to my dear/beloved mother.
The love with which he spoke to his mother was amazing. No wonder Allah has granted him so much goodness in this life.
(This brother is still enjoying the goodnesses of this world. Masha Allah!)
The love with which he spoke to his mother was amazing. No wonder Allah has granted him so much goodness in this life.
(This brother is still enjoying the goodnesses of this world. Masha Allah!)
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A child who doesn't feel loved by parents grows up to be a broken adult.
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Getting trained for handling failures is equally important.
There was a very brilliant boy, he always scored 100% in Science.
Got Selected for IIT Madras and scored excellent in IIT.
Went to the University of California for MBA.
Got a high paying job in America and settled there.
Married a Beautiful Tamil Girl.
Bought a 5 room big house and luxury cars.
He had everything that make him successful but a few years ago he committed suicide after shooting his wife and children.
WHAT WENT WRONG?
California Institute of Clinical Psychology Studied his case and found “what went wrong?”
The researcher met the boy's friends and family and found that he lost his job due to America’s economic crisis and he had to sit without a job for a long time. After even reducing his previous salary amount, he didn't get any job. Then his house installment broke and he and his family lost the home. they survived a few months with less money and then he and his wife together decided to commit suicide. He first shot his wife and children and then shot himself.
The case concluded that the man was Programmed for success but he was not trained for handling failures.
Now let's come to the actual question, What are the habits of highly successful people?
First of all, there are many people who will tell you about success habits but today I want to tell you that even if you have achieved everything, yet there is a chance to lose everything, nobody knows when the next economic crisis will hit the world. The best success habit according to me is getting trained for handling failures.
I also request every parent, please not only program your child to be successful but teach them how to handle failures and also teach them proper lessons about life. Learning high-level science and maths will help them to clear competitive exams but a knowledge about life will help them to face every problem. Teach them about how money works instead of teaching them to work for money. Help them in finding their passion because these degrees will not help them in the next economic crisis and we don’t know when the next crisis will hit the world.
"Success is a lousy teacher. Failure teaches you more."
Source: WhatsApp University
There was a very brilliant boy, he always scored 100% in Science.
Got Selected for IIT Madras and scored excellent in IIT.
Went to the University of California for MBA.
Got a high paying job in America and settled there.
Married a Beautiful Tamil Girl.
Bought a 5 room big house and luxury cars.
He had everything that make him successful but a few years ago he committed suicide after shooting his wife and children.
WHAT WENT WRONG?
California Institute of Clinical Psychology Studied his case and found “what went wrong?”
The researcher met the boy's friends and family and found that he lost his job due to America’s economic crisis and he had to sit without a job for a long time. After even reducing his previous salary amount, he didn't get any job. Then his house installment broke and he and his family lost the home. they survived a few months with less money and then he and his wife together decided to commit suicide. He first shot his wife and children and then shot himself.
The case concluded that the man was Programmed for success but he was not trained for handling failures.
Now let's come to the actual question, What are the habits of highly successful people?
First of all, there are many people who will tell you about success habits but today I want to tell you that even if you have achieved everything, yet there is a chance to lose everything, nobody knows when the next economic crisis will hit the world. The best success habit according to me is getting trained for handling failures.
I also request every parent, please not only program your child to be successful but teach them how to handle failures and also teach them proper lessons about life. Learning high-level science and maths will help them to clear competitive exams but a knowledge about life will help them to face every problem. Teach them about how money works instead of teaching them to work for money. Help them in finding their passion because these degrees will not help them in the next economic crisis and we don’t know when the next crisis will hit the world.
"Success is a lousy teacher. Failure teaches you more."
Source: WhatsApp University
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One Of The Parental Responsibilities
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen Rahimahullahu Ta’ala was asked:
‘We often see in women’s gatherings girls and young girls, around the age of seven years, wearing short or tight clothes, or strange haircuts, or haircuts for small girls that look like haircuts for boys. If we speak to the mothers and try to advise them, they argue that the children are still small. We hope that you can give us clear advice about children’s clothing and haircuts, may Allah bless you.’
The Shaykh answered: “It is well known that the individual is influenced by things in his childhood and will continue to be affected by them after he grows up. Hence Rasulullah salallahu’alaihi wa sallam enjoined us to instruct our children to pray when they are seven years old, and to s m a c k them (lightly) if they do not pray when they reach the age of ten, so that they will get used to it, as the child will follow that which he is used to.
If a young girl gets used to wearing short clothes that only come to the knee, and short sleeves that only come to the elbow or shoulder, she will lose all modesty and will want to wear these clothes after she grows up.
The same applies with regard to hair; a woman should have a hairstyle that is different from that of men; if she makes the hair like a man’s hair, she will be resembling men and Rasulullah salallahu’alaihi wa sallam c u r s e d women who resemble men.
It should be noted that the family is responsible for these children and their upbringing and education, as Rasulullah Salallahu’alaihi wa sallam said: “A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock.” So beware of being heedless; the father should be serious about the upbringing of his sons and daughters, and he should care for them, so that Allah will guide them and they will become a delight to him. End quote.”
Source; Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri, 66/10
Wallahu Ta’ala a’lam
==============
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen Rahimahullahu Ta’ala was asked:
‘We often see in women’s gatherings girls and young girls, around the age of seven years, wearing short or tight clothes, or strange haircuts, or haircuts for small girls that look like haircuts for boys. If we speak to the mothers and try to advise them, they argue that the children are still small. We hope that you can give us clear advice about children’s clothing and haircuts, may Allah bless you.’
The Shaykh answered: “It is well known that the individual is influenced by things in his childhood and will continue to be affected by them after he grows up. Hence Rasulullah salallahu’alaihi wa sallam enjoined us to instruct our children to pray when they are seven years old, and to s m a c k them (lightly) if they do not pray when they reach the age of ten, so that they will get used to it, as the child will follow that which he is used to.
If a young girl gets used to wearing short clothes that only come to the knee, and short sleeves that only come to the elbow or shoulder, she will lose all modesty and will want to wear these clothes after she grows up.
The same applies with regard to hair; a woman should have a hairstyle that is different from that of men; if she makes the hair like a man’s hair, she will be resembling men and Rasulullah salallahu’alaihi wa sallam c u r s e d women who resemble men.
It should be noted that the family is responsible for these children and their upbringing and education, as Rasulullah Salallahu’alaihi wa sallam said: “A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock.” So beware of being heedless; the father should be serious about the upbringing of his sons and daughters, and he should care for them, so that Allah will guide them and they will become a delight to him. End quote.”
Source; Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri, 66/10
Wallahu Ta’ala a’lam
==============
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Youth ‘mental health’ treatment should be approached with caution and skepticism. If a child's suffering is primarily a result of a broken or unhealthy environment, focusing on "treating their mental health" may shift attention away from the root cause. This could risk leading them to believe that the problem lies within themselves rather than their circumstances, potentially causing long-term harm and fostering dependency on treatment, turning them into lifelong patients.
Rather than addressing a child’s environment, psychiatry often aligns with the family projection process, where a problem rooted in the parents is transferred to the child. By diagnosing the child as mentally ill and providing medical treatment, psychiatry may obscure the fact that the child’s distress is a symptom of underlying family dysfunction. Thus, treating the child alone may mask the true source of the problem rather than resolving it.
Rather than addressing a child’s environment, psychiatry often aligns with the family projection process, where a problem rooted in the parents is transferred to the child. By diagnosing the child as mentally ill and providing medical treatment, psychiatry may obscure the fact that the child’s distress is a symptom of underlying family dysfunction. Thus, treating the child alone may mask the true source of the problem rather than resolving it.
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We (today) have become attached to the means instead of the Lord of the means. We have become attached to aspirin and food; the cure is from Allah.
When Allah commanded Ibrahim to slaughter Isma'il, Isma'il told him: "Do what you have been commanded." The knife was sharp - not dull - yet it would not cut.
When Ibrahim was catapulted into the fire, Allah said to the fire, "Be you cool and safe." Allah is the Lord of the sabab (means), He is the Lord of the fire, and the Lord of the knife.
Today, Eeman is weak. Tawheed is weak. Yaqeen is weak.
When Allah commanded Ibrahim to slaughter Isma'il, Isma'il told him: "Do what you have been commanded." The knife was sharp - not dull - yet it would not cut.
When Ibrahim was catapulted into the fire, Allah said to the fire, "Be you cool and safe." Allah is the Lord of the sabab (means), He is the Lord of the fire, and the Lord of the knife.
Today, Eeman is weak. Tawheed is weak. Yaqeen is weak.
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Teaching the child Kalimatut-Tawheed
(Laa Ilaaha Illallah – There is no deity worthy of worship in truth except Allah)
From the book “Taribeeyatul-Awlaad fee Dhaw’il-Kitaab was Sunnah” (Educating the Children in the Light of the Book (Qur’aan) and the Sunnah), introduced by Ash-Shaykh, Al-Aalim, Ar-Rabbaaniyy (the educator) Saalih inb Fawzaan Al-Fawzaan (May Allah preserve him upon good) and prepared by Abdus-Salaam Ibn Abdillah Sulaymaan (May Allah preserve him upon good).
Point 12: Teaching the child the Statement of At-Tawheed (Tawheed is to single out Allah alone, in all acts of worship).
So the first of what the child begins with in speech, obligatory upon al-waalidayn (the father and mother), is teaching him Kalimatut-Tawheed, and to instruct to it.
Ibn Abbaas (May Allah be pleased with his father and him) narrates that An-Nabiyy (the Prophet) (Allah’s peace and blessings upon him) said:
((Establish upon your children the first statement, Laa Ilaaha Illallah and instruct them at the time of death Laa Ilaaha Illallah)).
Umm Sulaym (May Allah be pleased with her), used to teach her son Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) to say:
Laa Ilaaha Illallah (There is no deity worthy of worship in truth except Allah). Say: I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and that was before Al-Fitaam (the end of 2 year suckling or nursing period of a baby from his mother).
It must be repeated in front of him, and this is pertaining to the mother and she plays with him. It then becomes habitual. To bring about understanding, she explains to him a simple explanation teaching him its meaning.
He knows that Allah is One, and He has no partner(s). He is Al-Khaaliq (The Creator). He is above the heavens, and He rises above His Arsh (Throne). He is fully aware (in sight and knowledge) over us and knowledgeable of our affairs. He hears and sees. Verily He is Al-Qaadir (His will and decree is over everything).
Trusting upon Allah becomes habitual and Allah is Ash-Shaafee (the One Who cures and gives good health). It is obligatory upon us to love Him and to worship Him. Likewise, the child is to be taught to love An-Nabiyy (Allah’s peace and blessings upon him), and to obey him. He is to be told something regarding his (An-Nabiyy) behaviour and his traits. That he loved children and played with them and similar to that of what she teaches him of their understanding.
It is repeated upon them: ((Who is your Lord? Who is your Prophet? What is your Religion?)) and ((Where is Allah?)).
He learns about love of the Companions (May Allah be pleased with them all) and the righteous (May Allah have mercy upon them). He memorises Al-Faatihah, Suratul-Ikhlaas and Al-Mu’awwidhatayn ( Suratul-Falaq and Suratun-Naas).
(Laa Ilaaha Illallah – There is no deity worthy of worship in truth except Allah)
From the book “Taribeeyatul-Awlaad fee Dhaw’il-Kitaab was Sunnah” (Educating the Children in the Light of the Book (Qur’aan) and the Sunnah), introduced by Ash-Shaykh, Al-Aalim, Ar-Rabbaaniyy (the educator) Saalih inb Fawzaan Al-Fawzaan (May Allah preserve him upon good) and prepared by Abdus-Salaam Ibn Abdillah Sulaymaan (May Allah preserve him upon good).
Point 12: Teaching the child the Statement of At-Tawheed (Tawheed is to single out Allah alone, in all acts of worship).
So the first of what the child begins with in speech, obligatory upon al-waalidayn (the father and mother), is teaching him Kalimatut-Tawheed, and to instruct to it.
Ibn Abbaas (May Allah be pleased with his father and him) narrates that An-Nabiyy (the Prophet) (Allah’s peace and blessings upon him) said:
((Establish upon your children the first statement, Laa Ilaaha Illallah and instruct them at the time of death Laa Ilaaha Illallah)).
Umm Sulaym (May Allah be pleased with her), used to teach her son Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) to say:
Laa Ilaaha Illallah (There is no deity worthy of worship in truth except Allah). Say: I bear witness that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and that was before Al-Fitaam (the end of 2 year suckling or nursing period of a baby from his mother).
It must be repeated in front of him, and this is pertaining to the mother and she plays with him. It then becomes habitual. To bring about understanding, she explains to him a simple explanation teaching him its meaning.
He knows that Allah is One, and He has no partner(s). He is Al-Khaaliq (The Creator). He is above the heavens, and He rises above His Arsh (Throne). He is fully aware (in sight and knowledge) over us and knowledgeable of our affairs. He hears and sees. Verily He is Al-Qaadir (His will and decree is over everything).
Trusting upon Allah becomes habitual and Allah is Ash-Shaafee (the One Who cures and gives good health). It is obligatory upon us to love Him and to worship Him. Likewise, the child is to be taught to love An-Nabiyy (Allah’s peace and blessings upon him), and to obey him. He is to be told something regarding his (An-Nabiyy) behaviour and his traits. That he loved children and played with them and similar to that of what she teaches him of their understanding.
It is repeated upon them: ((Who is your Lord? Who is your Prophet? What is your Religion?)) and ((Where is Allah?)).
He learns about love of the Companions (May Allah be pleased with them all) and the righteous (May Allah have mercy upon them). He memorises Al-Faatihah, Suratul-Ikhlaas and Al-Mu’awwidhatayn ( Suratul-Falaq and Suratun-Naas).
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Parents, raise your boys to be aspiring men.
Boys are men-in-training.
And raise your girls to be aspiring women. Girls are women-in-training.
I was having a funny conversation with my children recently, and we were reminiscing about the past. Remembering hilarious things from their childhood when they were younger.
At one point, talking about a certain funny incident, I said, "This is how children, أطفال , are."
My eldest son, now 12 years old, said seriously,
"أنا مش طفل."
"I am not a child."
I nodded, and to clarify what I'd meant, I said:
"مش دلوقتي-- من ثلاث أو أربع سنين، لما أنت كنت طفل."
"Not now-- I meant three or four years ago, when you were a child."
His response shocked me.
He replied, still serious:
"أنا لما اتولدت كنت رجل."
"When I was born, I was a man."
I wanted to laugh, thinking he was joking. We had all been joking around in the conversation anyway.
But I sensed that this was different.
This was no joke. He meant it.
So I didn't laugh. Instead, I nodded and kissed his forehead, which he allowed solemnly.
In return, he kissed the back of my hand.
I understood what my son meant with his words.
In an age of coddled kids and pampered little over-grown babies, he aspired for maturity.
In a modern world of over-extended boyhood, he aspired for manhood.
In an increasingly androgynous world where the lines of gender are blurred and men are vilified and women are "empowered," he aspired for masculinity.
In a world that infantilizes everyone, he aspired to be not a baby or a child but a man.
I often talk to my sons about men.
Real men.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, the ultimate model of manhood, masculinity, maturity. A comprehensive display of every positive and beautiful masculine trait.
The Sahaba رضي الله عنهم , shining stars and examples of strength, courage, and masculine valor.
The Prophets and Messengers, عليهم السلام, stunning examples of patience, responsibility, wisdom, and male leadership.
We study their lives, hear their stories, learn about their struggles and their missions and their battles. In the seerah of these legendary men, we learn about young soldiers and army commanders: Zayd was 17 years old when he led an army, Khalid ibn Al-Waleed was a young boy when he broke wild horses, and
Beyond this, my sons see the actions, hear the words, and witness the comportment of their father, a live example of masculinity and responsibility in their midst. The lessons he teaches them in day-to-day life emphasize iman, hard work, persistence, courage, and accountability.
As a father, he shows them love and affection and playfulness-- but this does not get in the way of the fatherly lessons he imparts to them in discipline, self-control, truthfulness, and responsibility.
In the Quran which we memorize, we see such positive denoscriptions of believing men, men of iman and bravery and sincerity:
مِّنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ رِجَالٌ صَدَقُوا مَا عَاهَدُوا اللَّهَ عَلَيْهِ ۖ فَمِنْهُم مَّن قَضَىٰ نَحْبَهُ وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَنتَظِرُ ۖ وَمَا بَدَّلُوا تَبْدِيلًا
"Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allāh. Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration." (Surat Al-Ahzab, 23)
In this ayah, the word "رجال" is used: men. Real men who have solid commitment, unchanging loyalty, unflinching courage, and enduring faith.
A glowing praise of true masculinity.
A son surrounded by such values from a young age, immersed in such expressions of healthy masculinity, surrounded by such an environment of benevolent patriarchy, cannot help but reject being infantilized and, instead, sees himself as a man.
Even as a child, he views himself as an aspiring man.
A man-in-training.
Boys are men-in-training.
And raise your girls to be aspiring women. Girls are women-in-training.
I was having a funny conversation with my children recently, and we were reminiscing about the past. Remembering hilarious things from their childhood when they were younger.
At one point, talking about a certain funny incident, I said, "This is how children, أطفال , are."
My eldest son, now 12 years old, said seriously,
"أنا مش طفل."
"I am not a child."
I nodded, and to clarify what I'd meant, I said:
"مش دلوقتي-- من ثلاث أو أربع سنين، لما أنت كنت طفل."
"Not now-- I meant three or four years ago, when you were a child."
His response shocked me.
He replied, still serious:
"أنا لما اتولدت كنت رجل."
"When I was born, I was a man."
I wanted to laugh, thinking he was joking. We had all been joking around in the conversation anyway.
But I sensed that this was different.
This was no joke. He meant it.
So I didn't laugh. Instead, I nodded and kissed his forehead, which he allowed solemnly.
In return, he kissed the back of my hand.
I understood what my son meant with his words.
In an age of coddled kids and pampered little over-grown babies, he aspired for maturity.
In a modern world of over-extended boyhood, he aspired for manhood.
In an increasingly androgynous world where the lines of gender are blurred and men are vilified and women are "empowered," he aspired for masculinity.
In a world that infantilizes everyone, he aspired to be not a baby or a child but a man.
I often talk to my sons about men.
Real men.
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, the ultimate model of manhood, masculinity, maturity. A comprehensive display of every positive and beautiful masculine trait.
The Sahaba رضي الله عنهم , shining stars and examples of strength, courage, and masculine valor.
The Prophets and Messengers, عليهم السلام, stunning examples of patience, responsibility, wisdom, and male leadership.
We study their lives, hear their stories, learn about their struggles and their missions and their battles. In the seerah of these legendary men, we learn about young soldiers and army commanders: Zayd was 17 years old when he led an army, Khalid ibn Al-Waleed was a young boy when he broke wild horses, and
Abdullah ibn Umar was 14 years old when he came to the Battle of Uhud asking to fight. Beyond this, my sons see the actions, hear the words, and witness the comportment of their father, a live example of masculinity and responsibility in their midst. The lessons he teaches them in day-to-day life emphasize iman, hard work, persistence, courage, and accountability.
As a father, he shows them love and affection and playfulness-- but this does not get in the way of the fatherly lessons he imparts to them in discipline, self-control, truthfulness, and responsibility.
In the Quran which we memorize, we see such positive denoscriptions of believing men, men of iman and bravery and sincerity:
مِّنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ رِجَالٌ صَدَقُوا مَا عَاهَدُوا اللَّهَ عَلَيْهِ ۖ فَمِنْهُم مَّن قَضَىٰ نَحْبَهُ وَمِنْهُم مَّن يَنتَظِرُ ۖ وَمَا بَدَّلُوا تَبْدِيلًا
"Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allāh. Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration." (Surat Al-Ahzab, 23)
In this ayah, the word "رجال" is used: men. Real men who have solid commitment, unchanging loyalty, unflinching courage, and enduring faith.
A glowing praise of true masculinity.
A son surrounded by such values from a young age, immersed in such expressions of healthy masculinity, surrounded by such an environment of benevolent patriarchy, cannot help but reject being infantilized and, instead, sees himself as a man.
Even as a child, he views himself as an aspiring man.
A man-in-training.
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Parents, protect your sons from the modern secular agenda that "men are trash" and that "masculinity is toxic" and that men can wear nail polish and earrings and women's dresses.
We are Muslims and we reject this degeneracy, and we love and appreciate masculinity for our sons and femininity for our daughters.
Parents, let your sons imbibe the beauty and majesty of authentic masculinity from a young age. Raise them in an environment of Quran, seerah, and Sahaba in which masculinity shines as the treasure that it is. Let them witness masculinity in the behavior of their fathers and male kin, demonstrating in real-time the values of a true Muslim man.
May Allah help us raise our sons into men and our daughters into women for this ummah, lions for the deen, and accept from us, ameen.
We are Muslims and we reject this degeneracy, and we love and appreciate masculinity for our sons and femininity for our daughters.
Parents, let your sons imbibe the beauty and majesty of authentic masculinity from a young age. Raise them in an environment of Quran, seerah, and Sahaba in which masculinity shines as the treasure that it is. Let them witness masculinity in the behavior of their fathers and male kin, demonstrating in real-time the values of a true Muslim man.
May Allah help us raise our sons into men and our daughters into women for this ummah, lions for the deen, and accept from us, ameen.
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