The Maid's Raise
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset...
The wife asked,
"Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better in bed than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset...
The wife asked,
"Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?"
Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."
Wife: "Who said that?"
Maid: "Your husband."
Wife: "Oh."
Maid: "The third reason is that I am better in bed than you."
Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maid: "No, the gardener did."
Wife: "So how much do you want?"
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Sam Fisher (Data Drops) pinned «The Maid's Raise The maid asked her boss, the wife, for a raise, and the wife was upset... The wife asked, "Why do you think you deserve a pay increase?" Maid: "There are three reasons. The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "Who said that?"…»
How not to answer this question!
Wife: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Me: "You promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"
Wife: "Yes"
Me: "I fucked your sister"
Wife: "Does this dress make me look fat?"
Me: "You promise not to get mad no matter what I say?"
Wife: "Yes"
Me: "I fucked your sister"
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Sam Fisher (Data Drops) pinned «How not to answer this question! Wife: "Does this dress make me look fat?" Me: "You promise not to get mad no matter what I say?" Wife: "Yes" Me: "I fucked your sister"»
God decides it’s finally time to send Jesus back to Earth...
*poof* All of a sudden, Jesus finds himself on the side of a road in the middle of rural America.
He sticks out his thumb for a ride and before long a man in a truck stops to give him a lift.
Not revealing his true identity, Jesus thanks the man for stopping.
Jesus: Wow thank you sir, so many people just ignored me standing there.
Man: don’t worry about it! That’s just what good people do.
After a few minutes driving the man leans over,
Man: Hey, I have this sandwich here, ya want some?
Jesus: wow, thank you sir, that’s so kind of you! I’d love some.
A few more minutes pass and the man leans over again,
Man: Hey I have a few beers in the cooler back there, want one?
Amazed by the man’s kindness Jesus replies,
Jesus: wow sure! I’d love one. Thank you again.
After a few more miles down the road the man looks around suspiciously and says,
Man: hey…I uh, have a little joint here. Want to take a few puffs with me?
Jesus pauses for a second and replies,
Jesus: ya know what, why not!
So the man and Jesus drive down the road smoking the fattest joint listening to music and having a good time. Finally, Jesus speaks up,
Jesus: okay listen! I can’t keep quiet any longer! You have been so kind, so nice, I want to tell you…I’m Jesus! God sent me down here to help the people and you’ve just been so kind. What can I do to repay you? Anything!
The man looks at Jesus with a grin on his face and says, “Good shit, huh?”
*poof* All of a sudden, Jesus finds himself on the side of a road in the middle of rural America.
He sticks out his thumb for a ride and before long a man in a truck stops to give him a lift.
Not revealing his true identity, Jesus thanks the man for stopping.
Jesus: Wow thank you sir, so many people just ignored me standing there.
Man: don’t worry about it! That’s just what good people do.
After a few minutes driving the man leans over,
Man: Hey, I have this sandwich here, ya want some?
Jesus: wow, thank you sir, that’s so kind of you! I’d love some.
A few more minutes pass and the man leans over again,
Man: Hey I have a few beers in the cooler back there, want one?
Amazed by the man’s kindness Jesus replies,
Jesus: wow sure! I’d love one. Thank you again.
After a few more miles down the road the man looks around suspiciously and says,
Man: hey…I uh, have a little joint here. Want to take a few puffs with me?
Jesus pauses for a second and replies,
Jesus: ya know what, why not!
So the man and Jesus drive down the road smoking the fattest joint listening to music and having a good time. Finally, Jesus speaks up,
Jesus: okay listen! I can’t keep quiet any longer! You have been so kind, so nice, I want to tell you…I’m Jesus! God sent me down here to help the people and you’ve just been so kind. What can I do to repay you? Anything!
The man looks at Jesus with a grin on his face and says, “Good shit, huh?”
😁3🦄1
Sam Fisher (Data Drops) pinned «God decides it’s finally time to send Jesus back to Earth... *poof* All of a sudden, Jesus finds himself on the side of a road in the middle of rural America. He sticks out his thumb for a ride and before long a man in a truck stops to give him a lift.…»
Why Dr. Doolittle scares Welsh farmers?
Englishman: "That your dog?"
Welshman: "Aye"
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?'
Welshman: "Dog don't talk.”
Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doing all right."
Welshman: (look of shock)
Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse don't talk.”
Englishman: "Hey horse how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheep's a fucking liar!!”
Englishman: "That your dog?"
Welshman: "Aye"
Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?'
Welshman: "Dog don't talk.”
Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doing all right."
Welshman: (look of shock)
Englishman: Is this your owner?" (Pointing at the Welshman)
Dog: "Yep."
Englishman: How's he treating you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the park once a week to play."
Welshman: (Look of total disbelief!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Welshman: "Horse don't talk.”
Englishman: "Hey horse how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Welshman: (Extreme look of shock!)
Englishman: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Welshman)
Horse: "Yep."
Englishman: "How's he treating you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a nice stable to protect me from the weather."
Welshman: (Look of total amazement!)
Englishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Welshman: "That sheep's a fucking liar!!”
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Sam Fisher (Data Drops) pinned «Why Dr. Doolittle scares Welsh farmers? Englishman: "That your dog?" Welshman: "Aye" Englishman: "Mind if I speak to him?' Welshman: "Dog don't talk.” Englishman: Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doing all right." Welshman: (look of shock) Englishman:…»
Forwarded from 🌈Rainbow Reclaimer - Thinking Woman🌈
Media is too big
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Queen Charlotte Is Not Fiction
Forwarded from ✡️ Christianity Exposed ✡️
"Under Greek influence, when a Hellenistic mystery cult of Osiris was developed (which happened before Christianity arose), it adopted the generally pervasive idea of salvific baptism, which we know was pre-Christian. In short, both the Egyptian Osiris cult and the Jewish Jesus cult borrowed their idea of baptism from existing Greek mystery religions."
— Dr. Richard Carrier [source]
@ChristianityExposed
— Dr. Richard Carrier [source]
@ChristianityExposed
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