https://x.com/harrysoulcoach/status/1945155269601730844?s=46&t=Xv88mZMGVVKm1mUAfLlDxA
Note - the TS post he’s referring to was deleted but it WAS there.
Note - the TS post he’s referring to was deleted but it WAS there.
❤5
Great posts from Ash and I’m happy to share them here bc this is one of my pet-peeves as well. People mis -understanding and mis-TEACHING what these terms mean.
There are many on social media who talk and preach and act as if they understand what all this stuff is and how it works and, frankly, a lot of them are full of shit.
Always follow the Resonance and DYOR so that YOU know what’s what because, in the end, it’s only YOU that matters in your Healing.
Only You know what You need. And you have to follow your own Inner Guidance on that.
👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
There are many on social media who talk and preach and act as if they understand what all this stuff is and how it works and, frankly, a lot of them are full of shit.
Always follow the Resonance and DYOR so that YOU know what’s what because, in the end, it’s only YOU that matters in your Healing.
Only You know what You need. And you have to follow your own Inner Guidance on that.
👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻
💯10❤3
Forwarded from 🔥Embers from Ash🌻 (Ash)
Underline, emphasis, italics and bold on allllllll of this ‼️
A trauma bond is akin to Stockholm syndrome. It's your programmed mind betraying your body and soul.
Gaslighting leads to you feeling like you're the problem and that you're also responsible for the solution - which requires you to abandon yourself always, every time. (Also feeds the trauma bond...)
A trigger is important to pay attention to. It is usually pointing you in the direction of your power if you can pause and reflect instead of dissociating. A lot of times when we feel deeply triggered, we try to drown out the feelings through denial, substance abuse or "busying". But the only way to process them out of the body is to feel them with honesty. Deep inner child meditations and breathwork can be life changing here.
Intrusive thoughts can be set to "replay" and require intentional journaling and expression to eliminate. They can lead to impulsive and sometimes even aggressive behavior. This is where productive "busying" can be helpful, with moderation, to break through the repetition and think about something else - like decluttering. Decluttering your space can also declutter the mind.
The bottom line on all of this, is that pop culture will tell you that breaking the trauma bond is detachment, judging you for choosing you for once, instead of your abuser.
Pop culture will tell you that "there are two sides to every story" while also invalidating your freedom to express, feel, and act upon yours.
Pop culture will have you lashing out at everyone and blaming it on being "triggered". When your triggers are not excuses, they are actually your responsibilities, your lessons to face and deal with.
Pop culture will encourage bad behavior, normalize addiction and even enable toxic relationships by empathizing with your abuser each and every time you share your story. Calling you selfish for doing what it takes to heal and then deciding with intention, what to share.
So essentially....you're going to be judged no matter how you go about healing. No matter what you are doing. No matter how much you share.
So do what feels right for you. Do what heals you. Do what frees you. It is your #1 job to love your Self and you can't expect anyone else to know how to until you learn to.
A trauma bond is akin to Stockholm syndrome. It's your programmed mind betraying your body and soul.
Gaslighting leads to you feeling like you're the problem and that you're also responsible for the solution - which requires you to abandon yourself always, every time. (Also feeds the trauma bond...)
A trigger is important to pay attention to. It is usually pointing you in the direction of your power if you can pause and reflect instead of dissociating. A lot of times when we feel deeply triggered, we try to drown out the feelings through denial, substance abuse or "busying". But the only way to process them out of the body is to feel them with honesty. Deep inner child meditations and breathwork can be life changing here.
Intrusive thoughts can be set to "replay" and require intentional journaling and expression to eliminate. They can lead to impulsive and sometimes even aggressive behavior. This is where productive "busying" can be helpful, with moderation, to break through the repetition and think about something else - like decluttering. Decluttering your space can also declutter the mind.
The bottom line on all of this, is that pop culture will tell you that breaking the trauma bond is detachment, judging you for choosing you for once, instead of your abuser.
Pop culture will tell you that "there are two sides to every story" while also invalidating your freedom to express, feel, and act upon yours.
Pop culture will have you lashing out at everyone and blaming it on being "triggered". When your triggers are not excuses, they are actually your responsibilities, your lessons to face and deal with.
Pop culture will encourage bad behavior, normalize addiction and even enable toxic relationships by empathizing with your abuser each and every time you share your story. Calling you selfish for doing what it takes to heal and then deciding with intention, what to share.
So essentially....you're going to be judged no matter how you go about healing. No matter what you are doing. No matter how much you share.
So do what feels right for you. Do what heals you. Do what frees you. It is your #1 job to love your Self and you can't expect anyone else to know how to until you learn to.
👏13❤5
Forwarded from TR HQ
Important bit of understanding about narcissists. They don’t fall in love with themselves. In fact, most actually loathe themselves.
They fall in love with their reflection.
The reflection they see in the mirrors all around them is what they become obsessed with.
How they appear is what matters. To others, yes, but most importantly to themselves.
It soothes their deep seated belief that they are not worthy. Not good enough. Very, very not OK.
The people they abuse are not actually people to them. They are mirrors; simple tools to use to examine their own reflection. And when the mirror no longer shows them what they wish to see, they will break it.
Or try to.
@TruthRascalHQ
—4 Sept 2024—
They fall in love with their reflection.
The reflection they see in the mirrors all around them is what they become obsessed with.
How they appear is what matters. To others, yes, but most importantly to themselves.
It soothes their deep seated belief that they are not worthy. Not good enough. Very, very not OK.
The people they abuse are not actually people to them. They are mirrors; simple tools to use to examine their own reflection. And when the mirror no longer shows them what they wish to see, they will break it.
Or try to.
@TruthRascalHQ
—4 Sept 2024—
👏13👍2😱1
Forwarded from TR HQ
Another thought on the narcissism stuff…
If you haven’t been through this personally, it’s very unlikely that you actually understand how it works.
And I’m not saying that to be a dick. I just want to point out that it’s a COMPLICATED issue and if someone is dealing with it, especially in its Covert form, it’s very confusing and destabilizing.
A lot of folks are tossing around the buzzwords lately: “narcissist”, “gaslighting”, “narcissistic supply”, etc. And it’s clear that a lot of the time, it’s just being used as some kind of adjective to describe someone’s behavior but the person is not fundamentally “a narcissist” with the full-blown disorder.
Please understand that this disorder is rooted in DEEP shame, fear and trauma and is not at all what it appears to be on the surface. That’s not to make excuses for the behavior, but to point out just how deep-seated and dangerous it is to underestimate these people. We don’t need to fear them, but actually understanding the dynamic can be very helpful. And Healing.
If you are trying to help someone else through this issue, but you haven’t ACTUALLY experienced it, please consider listening to the info I’ve posted above and searching this channel for narcissism, narcissists, NPD etc.
You may be doing more harm than good without realizing it 🫶
~TR
Ok. Back to our regularly scheduled content.
If you haven’t been through this personally, it’s very unlikely that you actually understand how it works.
And I’m not saying that to be a dick. I just want to point out that it’s a COMPLICATED issue and if someone is dealing with it, especially in its Covert form, it’s very confusing and destabilizing.
A lot of folks are tossing around the buzzwords lately: “narcissist”, “gaslighting”, “narcissistic supply”, etc. And it’s clear that a lot of the time, it’s just being used as some kind of adjective to describe someone’s behavior but the person is not fundamentally “a narcissist” with the full-blown disorder.
Please understand that this disorder is rooted in DEEP shame, fear and trauma and is not at all what it appears to be on the surface. That’s not to make excuses for the behavior, but to point out just how deep-seated and dangerous it is to underestimate these people. We don’t need to fear them, but actually understanding the dynamic can be very helpful. And Healing.
If you are trying to help someone else through this issue, but you haven’t ACTUALLY experienced it, please consider listening to the info I’ve posted above and searching this channel for narcissism, narcissists, NPD etc.
You may be doing more harm than good without realizing it 🫶
~TR
Ok. Back to our regularly scheduled content.
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