They originally came here to try to investigate our chemtrail technology, and got increasingly frustrated when all their samples turned out to just be water ice with trace amounts of jet exhaust.

Ugh, and we JUST went through this yesterday with javelin.

Attention all passengers: This is an express sequence to infinity. If your stop is not a power of two, please disembark now.

Hint: If you ever encounter this puzzle in a crossword app, just term for someone with a competitive and high-achieving personality.

Anadromous fish are more vulnerable in rivers, since the lack of salt means you can quickly crack passwords using rainbow trout tables.

Einstein's theories solved a longstanding mystery about Mercury: Why it gets so hot. "It's because," he pointed out, "the sun is right there."

IMO the thymus is one of the coolest organs and we should really use it in metaphors more.

We were going to try swordfighting, but all my compiling is on hold.

Hard to imagine political rhetoric more microtargeted at me than 'I love Venn diagrams. I really do, I love Venn diagrams. It's just something about those three circles.'

People think power over ethernet is so great, and yet when I try to do water over ethernet everyone yells at me.

Thankfully for everyone involved, the Winter Olympics officials spotted me and managed to stop me before I got to the ski jump.

Buildings constructed from softer materials were damaged by chili pepper impacts to the storm's high Richter-Fujita-Scoville-Mohs hardness rating.

Calligraphy exam: Write down the number 37, spelled out, nicely.

He was the first person to land a 900, which is especially impressive because pulling off a half-integer spin requires obeying Fermi-Dirac statistics.

This only makes it more urgent that we adopt my roadmap for the next 10 years, which should put us solidly in the lead.

[Political pundit on the ScrabbleTV News channel] "After four years of defying orthographic pressure, Joe ceded the top of the ticket to Kamala, who--after considering Josh, Mark, Andy, Roy, and Pete--picked Tim."

If you hold the meteor too long, it may imprint on you and form a contact binary, making reintroduction to space difficult.

If we can get a brood of 13-year cicadas going, we might have a chance at making this happen before the oceans evaporate under the expanding sun.

Our lawyers were worried because it turns out the company inherits its debt from the parent universe, but luckily cosmic inflation reduced it to nearly zero.