We've learned that weird spacing and diacritics in the methodology denoscription are apparently the key to good research; luckily, we've developed an AI tool to help us figure out where to add them.
"You still can't walk into someone's house without being invited!" "What/ Oh, I see your confusion. No, this vaccine is for a bat VIRUS. I'm fine with doorways and garlic and stuff."
All our teams make an effort to stay optimistic, but I will say that once our virus division saw the vaccine efficacy data, they started asking for payment up front.
Others include "We've incrementally improved the estimate of this coefficient," "Maybe all these categories are wrong," and "We found a way to make student volunters worse at tasks."