Poorly Drawn Lines – The Apocalypse

Massage: Theoretical (10), Quantum (6), High-energy (2), Computational (1), Marine (1), Astro- (None)

Poorly Drawn Lines – Optimist or Pessimist

Theoretical physicist: At the Planck length, uncountably many.

NEGATIVE REVIEWS MENTION: Unreliable internet. POSITIVE REVIEWS MENTION: Unreliable internet.

Curdled milk, of a peculiar kind, made after a Bulgarian recipe and called "yaghurt," is now a Parisian fad and is believed to be a remedy against growing old. A correspondent who has tried it, says he would prefer to die young. (1905, The Elk Falls Journal)

Poorly Drawn Lines – Been Through a Lot

If you reach 122, you get complete unrevertible editorial control over Jeanne Calment's Wikipedia article.

In general, avoid exposure to any temperatures, pressures, particle energies, or states of matter that physicists think are neat.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Pointless

Poorly Drawn Lines – Interesting People

Ground-pole-ball-pole can be fun if you shake the first pole to get the second one whipping around dangerously, but the ball at the joint gets torn apart pretty fast.

'Why did you get into fluid dynamics?' 'Well, SOME planet has to have the coolest clouds, odds are it's not ours, and rockets are slow.'

Juraaaassic Park, Juraaaassic Park, God shed his grace on theeeee

Poorly Drawn Lines – In Life

To that stranger on the KOOL Tree House chat room, I gotta hand it to you: You were, ultimately, not wrong.

Poorly Drawn Lines – Mad at You

Another option: "It is an honor to be the first human to set foot on the moon."

Now I'm tempted to start telling people that I secretly don't actually know how to do any physics calculations, and so all the answers in What If are based on me actually trying to do the thing and then reporting what happened, but phrased as if it's hypothetical.