STOP TAKING PERSONALITY TESTS
You'll take it and get your results and be thinking:
"Woaaah it's literally me!"
You idiot just gave them the answers.
You literally spoonfed the results, of course they'll feel relatable.
"But isn't that the point of a quiz? Synthesizing?"
Sure.
But the results are supposed to be absolute and correct forever.
Which they cannot be.
Personality quiz are based on your feeling and experiences at the moment you took the test.
It might be true for that specific moment, day, week and even months.
But the thing is, our personalities are shaped by the experiences we go through and how we react to them. Which can often be completely random.
It only takes one realization for your whole thought processes to change.
Your personalit keeps changing throughout time.
Haven't you ever met someone you thought you knew, but with time have become a completely different person.
Well that happens to all of us, we just don't realize it because it's not measurable.
And that, is exactly why personality tests are not reliable.
You cannot measure personality.
It might be useful for criminal profiling, makes the job easy.
But when it comes to enhancing your own self-awareness, do not count on external tools to tell you who you are.
You literally program yourself to be what you believe yourself to be.
You implant an idea of what you are in your mind and you try subconsciously to live up to that expectation every single moment.
That shit is far more impactful than you would think.
It's like in that movie Inception where they implant ideas in people's mind.
Well you do that to yourself constantly.
And looking to put yourself in a box (through personality tests or other ways) limits your potential and your ability to change and adapt.
Because that's what intelligence is, the ability to adapt.
And unless you accept that you are ever changing, you will forever limit yourself to whatever ideas you have accepted as true.
This is dangerous.
Adopt the growth mindset.
You'll take it and get your results and be thinking:
"Woaaah it's literally me!"
You idiot just gave them the answers.
You literally spoonfed the results, of course they'll feel relatable.
"But isn't that the point of a quiz? Synthesizing?"
Sure.
But the results are supposed to be absolute and correct forever.
Which they cannot be.
Personality quiz are based on your feeling and experiences at the moment you took the test.
It might be true for that specific moment, day, week and even months.
But the thing is, our personalities are shaped by the experiences we go through and how we react to them. Which can often be completely random.
It only takes one realization for your whole thought processes to change.
Your personalit keeps changing throughout time.
Haven't you ever met someone you thought you knew, but with time have become a completely different person.
Well that happens to all of us, we just don't realize it because it's not measurable.
And that, is exactly why personality tests are not reliable.
You cannot measure personality.
It might be useful for criminal profiling, makes the job easy.
But when it comes to enhancing your own self-awareness, do not count on external tools to tell you who you are.
You literally program yourself to be what you believe yourself to be.
You implant an idea of what you are in your mind and you try subconsciously to live up to that expectation every single moment.
That shit is far more impactful than you would think.
It's like in that movie Inception where they implant ideas in people's mind.
Well you do that to yourself constantly.
And looking to put yourself in a box (through personality tests or other ways) limits your potential and your ability to change and adapt.
Because that's what intelligence is, the ability to adapt.
And unless you accept that you are ever changing, you will forever limit yourself to whatever ideas you have accepted as true.
This is dangerous.
Adopt the growth mindset.
❤33🔥19
🔥5
I'm often asked:
"How can I become more confident"
"How do I become more resilient"
"How do I stand up for myself"
Or
"How do I stop freezing in conversations"
Funnily enough, the answer to all of those questions is, at the root, the same.
All of those highly depend on how you view and value yourself.
Do you think you deserve the best?
Who are you to yourself?
The thing is, with a strong self-image, you won't freeze, you will be confident and more resilient.
And you will also tolerate nobody's bullshit when it crosses your boundaries.
The answer is what is your relationship with yourself?
Because at the end of the day, that is exactly what each and everyone of us projects on a daily basis.
Fix your relationship with yourself and you will stop fucking up things.
Internalize this.
"How can I become more confident"
"How do I become more resilient"
"How do I stand up for myself"
Or
"How do I stop freezing in conversations"
Funnily enough, the answer to all of those questions is, at the root, the same.
All of those highly depend on how you view and value yourself.
Do you think you deserve the best?
Who are you to yourself?
The thing is, with a strong self-image, you won't freeze, you will be confident and more resilient.
And you will also tolerate nobody's bullshit when it crosses your boundaries.
The answer is what is your relationship with yourself?
Because at the end of the day, that is exactly what each and everyone of us projects on a daily basis.
Fix your relationship with yourself and you will stop fucking up things.
Internalize this.
❤29🔥11
Forwarded from Modern Mentalities
HOW TO BE IRRESISTIBLE
[read to learn how to get people you are meeting for the first time to do your bidding without developing a prior relationship]
STEP 1: Be calm at all times
The most seductive quality a man can have is calmness.
While the world burns to ashes you must not be moved by anything or anyone. You are the center of the universe, and nothing around you affects you. You alone are in control of your emotions.
If your friend stands up and insults you publicly, then walks away, say nothing and just have a quirky smile on your face that says “I don’t care.”
Your demeanor should draw people into you, not repel them. Calm, chilled demeanor but with a devilish gaze is extremely intriguing.
STEP 2: Always have a half smile
When someone says something funny, there is a stage just before you smile. That stage is where your lips are just about to widen, but your eyes are already lit up.
When you look at your interlocutor, have this look. But don’t smile.
You’ll have to learn how to do this one with constant practice to get it right.
This is to avoid being repulsive with a frowning or hostile expression, but yet not be constantly smiling like a total idiot. You’re neutral, with an inviting look, but a strong personality.
3 STEP 3: Make requests like they were demands
Don’t ask as if you expect to be turned down. Ask as if you’re just following due process but you know your request will be accepted.
Don’t say:
“Would you like to dance with me?”
Say:
“Dance with me.”
Don’t say:
“Bro, would you like to go grab some drinks?”
Say: [you guessed it]
“Let’s go grab some drinks, man.”
Easier to say “No thank you to the first request” than to the second one.
Turning down the second request seems a bit rude, even though it isn’t.
You want people to feel a heavy burden of responsibility when declining your requests.
STEP 4: Say less
Being verbose is perhaps the most unattractive trait a person can have when meeting new people.
Allow them to talk about themselves more and wonder about you. But don’t be so quiet that they actually have to start trying to get you to talk.
Every time they catch themselves saying too much their brain goes “oh shit, I really like this guy, otherwise why would I be saying so much to him”
STEP 5: Always appear impeccable
You could appear like trash and still manage to be super-intriguing, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want that.
Don’t even appear mid. Your dressing should be a little over, every single time. Better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed for the occasion.
Your dressing, hair and facial expression will 10X your charm every single time.
I don’t need to explain this one as you already know it and if you didn’t; now you do.
So ensure you’re never dressed terribly when meeting new people.
[read to learn how to get people you are meeting for the first time to do your bidding without developing a prior relationship]
STEP 1: Be calm at all times
The most seductive quality a man can have is calmness.
While the world burns to ashes you must not be moved by anything or anyone. You are the center of the universe, and nothing around you affects you. You alone are in control of your emotions.
If your friend stands up and insults you publicly, then walks away, say nothing and just have a quirky smile on your face that says “I don’t care.”
Your demeanor should draw people into you, not repel them. Calm, chilled demeanor but with a devilish gaze is extremely intriguing.
STEP 2: Always have a half smile
When someone says something funny, there is a stage just before you smile. That stage is where your lips are just about to widen, but your eyes are already lit up.
When you look at your interlocutor, have this look. But don’t smile.
You’ll have to learn how to do this one with constant practice to get it right.
This is to avoid being repulsive with a frowning or hostile expression, but yet not be constantly smiling like a total idiot. You’re neutral, with an inviting look, but a strong personality.
3 STEP 3: Make requests like they were demands
Don’t ask as if you expect to be turned down. Ask as if you’re just following due process but you know your request will be accepted.
Don’t say:
“Would you like to dance with me?”
Say:
“Dance with me.”
Don’t say:
“Bro, would you like to go grab some drinks?”
Say: [you guessed it]
“Let’s go grab some drinks, man.”
Easier to say “No thank you to the first request” than to the second one.
Turning down the second request seems a bit rude, even though it isn’t.
You want people to feel a heavy burden of responsibility when declining your requests.
STEP 4: Say less
Being verbose is perhaps the most unattractive trait a person can have when meeting new people.
Allow them to talk about themselves more and wonder about you. But don’t be so quiet that they actually have to start trying to get you to talk.
Every time they catch themselves saying too much their brain goes “oh shit, I really like this guy, otherwise why would I be saying so much to him”
STEP 5: Always appear impeccable
You could appear like trash and still manage to be super-intriguing, but I’m sure you wouldn’t want that.
Don’t even appear mid. Your dressing should be a little over, every single time. Better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed for the occasion.
Your dressing, hair and facial expression will 10X your charm every single time.
I don’t need to explain this one as you already know it and if you didn’t; now you do.
So ensure you’re never dressed terribly when meeting new people.
🔥35❤14
A healthy ego does not need external validation.
What people call a "big" ego is in fact a weak one, an unhealthy one.
If you feel the need to show off and expose yourself, you might have to fix some deep insecurities you have.
Having high self-esteem and healthy ego don't mean that you constantly brag and play power games with everyone.
It simply means you value yourself, know your worth and are confident in your abilities.
That's just half the point.
The other half is that your privacy is priceless.
As they say: "The less they know, the less they can ruin."
Dont be naive or insecure to the point of exposing yourself.
Know your priorities.
What people call a "big" ego is in fact a weak one, an unhealthy one.
If you feel the need to show off and expose yourself, you might have to fix some deep insecurities you have.
Having high self-esteem and healthy ego don't mean that you constantly brag and play power games with everyone.
It simply means you value yourself, know your worth and are confident in your abilities.
That's just half the point.
The other half is that your privacy is priceless.
As they say: "The less they know, the less they can ruin."
Dont be naive or insecure to the point of exposing yourself.
Know your priorities.
🔥50❤8
CREATE ORDER OUT OF CHAOS
As a human, one of your core functions and “raison d’être” is to create Order out of Chaos. We’ve been doing this for tens of thousands of years at a large scale. But this is particularly important at the individual level.
Truth is, without this in mind, you will keep navigating life blindly, do activities you don’t enjoy, keep living a life you hate.
That’s not how it’s supposed to be.
You’re not supposed to snooze your alarm in the morning and hate yourself while you wash your face to start doing tasks that don’t fulfill you.
This is the reality for most people on this Earth.
They hate their lives, and they have no idea where they’re going with this shit.
When you fail to create order at a personal level, you become a mess and that’s no way to live.
Now, the question that begs for an answer here is:
How do you create order from chaos?
Or even what does it mean to do so?
Well for starters, let’s do a small definition.
Let’s consider chaos as the uncertainty and doubt while order represents clarity and intention.
You might feel like your life is ordered and you have it figured out.
But the right question to ask is whether or not you CHOSE that order or if it was IMPOSED on you.
To cut things down to the actionable part:
What do you want from life?
How do you get there?
What’s the next step?
When we talk about order being clarity and intention, it means that you wake up every day with a clear vision in mind to build and a specific task list that will help you make this day one more building block in the future you’re building.
When every day is a step of your plan, life starts to take all its meaning.
When all you do is wake up and survive, you get depressed, hate yourself and embrace the chaos.
Your lifetime is not supposed to build someone else’s vision.
Are you WORTHY ENOUGH OF BUILDING YOUR OWN VISION?
Or do you not value yourself to the point where you accept being a tool in the elite’s vision of the world.
What can you do every day to break free of this.
All of this might sound like nothing but rambling and ranting, or even abstract concepts.
But the thing is that you need to ask yourself the right questions if you want to get to the right answers. All the right questions are mentioned above if you know how to read between the lines.
And if you can’t, then simply ask yourself:
What do I want and what am I doing to get it?
The answer must not be vague.
You don’t just want to “get rich” or “make it”.
You want to define specific and measurable goals so you can reverse engineer a plan to reach them.
Getting rich, everyone wants that.
How about: I want to make 10 million dollars within the next 5 years.
What are steps I can follow and milestones I should reach in order to get to those goals.
As you start breaking it all down from the end result to the daily recurring tasks to do every day, you start having a stronger vision and determination.
And you know what you start feeling then?
That bitch ass motivation you’ve been seeking for so long.
Because now it has reason to exist.
Motivation does not exist in chaos.
Motivation needs clarity. It needs order.
As a human, one of your core functions and “raison d’être” is to create Order out of Chaos. We’ve been doing this for tens of thousands of years at a large scale. But this is particularly important at the individual level.
Truth is, without this in mind, you will keep navigating life blindly, do activities you don’t enjoy, keep living a life you hate.
That’s not how it’s supposed to be.
You’re not supposed to snooze your alarm in the morning and hate yourself while you wash your face to start doing tasks that don’t fulfill you.
This is the reality for most people on this Earth.
They hate their lives, and they have no idea where they’re going with this shit.
When you fail to create order at a personal level, you become a mess and that’s no way to live.
Now, the question that begs for an answer here is:
How do you create order from chaos?
Or even what does it mean to do so?
Well for starters, let’s do a small definition.
Let’s consider chaos as the uncertainty and doubt while order represents clarity and intention.
You might feel like your life is ordered and you have it figured out.
But the right question to ask is whether or not you CHOSE that order or if it was IMPOSED on you.
To cut things down to the actionable part:
What do you want from life?
How do you get there?
What’s the next step?
When we talk about order being clarity and intention, it means that you wake up every day with a clear vision in mind to build and a specific task list that will help you make this day one more building block in the future you’re building.
When every day is a step of your plan, life starts to take all its meaning.
When all you do is wake up and survive, you get depressed, hate yourself and embrace the chaos.
Your lifetime is not supposed to build someone else’s vision.
Are you WORTHY ENOUGH OF BUILDING YOUR OWN VISION?
Or do you not value yourself to the point where you accept being a tool in the elite’s vision of the world.
What can you do every day to break free of this.
All of this might sound like nothing but rambling and ranting, or even abstract concepts.
But the thing is that you need to ask yourself the right questions if you want to get to the right answers. All the right questions are mentioned above if you know how to read between the lines.
And if you can’t, then simply ask yourself:
What do I want and what am I doing to get it?
The answer must not be vague.
You don’t just want to “get rich” or “make it”.
You want to define specific and measurable goals so you can reverse engineer a plan to reach them.
Getting rich, everyone wants that.
How about: I want to make 10 million dollars within the next 5 years.
What are steps I can follow and milestones I should reach in order to get to those goals.
As you start breaking it all down from the end result to the daily recurring tasks to do every day, you start having a stronger vision and determination.
And you know what you start feeling then?
That bitch ass motivation you’ve been seeking for so long.
Because now it has reason to exist.
Motivation does not exist in chaos.
Motivation needs clarity. It needs order.
🔥47❤10
The nature of psychological compulsion is such that those who act under constraint remain under the impression that they are acting on their own initiative. The victim of mind-manipulation does not know that he is a victim. To him the walls of his prison are invisible, and he believes himself to be free. That he is not free is apparent only to other people. His servitude is strictly objective.
❤27🔥7
Basedonia™ - By E-go
The nature of psychological compulsion is such that those who act under constraint remain under the impression that they are acting on their own initiative. The victim of mind-manipulation does not know that he is a victim. To him the walls of his prison are…
Aldous Huxley, Brave New World.
Read it before its too late.
Read it before its too late.
🔥19❤3
Forwarded from E-go
Brave-New-World_-_Aldous-Huxley.pdf
22.1 MB
He's dead so I don't think he's gonna be mad I shared this
❤15👍1
Forwarded from Modern Mentalities
“Move, you’re not a tree.”
Some of the greatest words every spoken.
Some of the greatest words every spoken.
❤25🔥16
Forwarded from The Polymath (Limitless Reader)
Seen a lot of "live each day as if it was your last", indeed a powerful mindset that I respect
Yet I much prefer "Live each day as if it was a miracle"
Yet I much prefer "Live each day as if it was a miracle"
🔥34❤7
It is hard to truly define and measure one’s decision-making abilities. But when you look at the broader picture, you can always tell if someone is good at making decisions or not. There are a few things that separate good decision-makers and those with a tendency to pick the wrong option.
One of those things is the ability to separate emotion from decision. In fact, the more emotional you are at the moment of making a decision, the more likely you are to make the wrong one. However, it’s also important to take into consideration that, in some cases, empathy can be used to make the right choices.
Empathy can be defined as the ability to understand emotions and feelings of other people. Having empathy for others might cause a person to consider the impact their decisions will have on others before making a decision. Empathy can also help a person understand the perspective of others and see the situation from their point of view, which can be helpful in resolving conflicts or finding mutually beneficial solutions.
On the other hand, decision-making that is driven solely by empathy can sometimes lead to biased or unbalanced decisions, as the decision-maker may prioritize the feelings or needs of one person or group over others. It is important for decision-makers to strike a balance and consider the broader context and potential consequences of their decisions.
So in short, in order to improve your decision-making, you must put your own emotions aside and use empathy to broaden your perspective and accept different viewpoints.
This will help you get a better grasp of the situation at hand but also understand the stakes of each person concerned with your decision (if any).
Ultimately, this gives you a larger choice of alternatives as you explore all potential solutions. By visualizing the bigger picture, you can make a more informed decision, as long as it is not driven solely by emotion.
One last thing that you should remember is that your past wrong decisions are a source to learn from about yourself and your tendencies. Reviewing where things went wrong allows you to learn from your past mistakes and avoid making the same ones again.
In short:
- Put emotions aside
- Use empathy to broaden your perspective
- Consider all alternatives
- Weigh pros and cons
- Avoid making the same mistakes
It is not that hard when you put it this way.
But decision-making can be challenging if you don’t approach it methodically, which is why the first step is to be objective. Because as long as you will worry and stress out about situations, you will keep approaching them the wrong way and end up going with the wrong choice
One of those things is the ability to separate emotion from decision. In fact, the more emotional you are at the moment of making a decision, the more likely you are to make the wrong one. However, it’s also important to take into consideration that, in some cases, empathy can be used to make the right choices.
Empathy can be defined as the ability to understand emotions and feelings of other people. Having empathy for others might cause a person to consider the impact their decisions will have on others before making a decision. Empathy can also help a person understand the perspective of others and see the situation from their point of view, which can be helpful in resolving conflicts or finding mutually beneficial solutions.
On the other hand, decision-making that is driven solely by empathy can sometimes lead to biased or unbalanced decisions, as the decision-maker may prioritize the feelings or needs of one person or group over others. It is important for decision-makers to strike a balance and consider the broader context and potential consequences of their decisions.
So in short, in order to improve your decision-making, you must put your own emotions aside and use empathy to broaden your perspective and accept different viewpoints.
This will help you get a better grasp of the situation at hand but also understand the stakes of each person concerned with your decision (if any).
Ultimately, this gives you a larger choice of alternatives as you explore all potential solutions. By visualizing the bigger picture, you can make a more informed decision, as long as it is not driven solely by emotion.
One last thing that you should remember is that your past wrong decisions are a source to learn from about yourself and your tendencies. Reviewing where things went wrong allows you to learn from your past mistakes and avoid making the same ones again.
In short:
- Put emotions aside
- Use empathy to broaden your perspective
- Consider all alternatives
- Weigh pros and cons
- Avoid making the same mistakes
It is not that hard when you put it this way.
But decision-making can be challenging if you don’t approach it methodically, which is why the first step is to be objective. Because as long as you will worry and stress out about situations, you will keep approaching them the wrong way and end up going with the wrong choice
❤21🔥12
Join this space tomorrow if you have some time.
Usually lasts an hour, going to be an extremely interesting topic.
You might learn a few things
https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1615013777270865921
Usually lasts an hour, going to be an extremely interesting topic.
You might learn a few things
https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1615013777270865921
🔥10
WHO ARE YOU?
That's not a question I am asking you.
That's a question I invite you to ask yourself.
Because no matter what your answer is, that's what will define how I will see you (or anyone else).
Truth is:
People do not take the time to actually define themselves.
If you're one of those, I cannot stress enough how important it is that you take the time to ask yourself the right questions.
Who am I?
What do I think of myself?
Who do I want to become?
How can I become the person I want?
What am I insecure about? How can I fix it?
Who can I really count on? Why?
Unless you assess and put your finger on these things, it will be extremely difficult for you to feel fulfilled.
Unlike video games, life does not give you a stats menu.
But that's a good thing.
Why is it a good thing?
Because you get to pick which stats matter.
You get to choose what aspects of your life you deem important and worth improving.
Yes, I know money is one of the most important stats, that's what most people are constantly after.
But let me ask you something:
How do you plan on making more money if you don't even know what you're good/bad at?
We were born in an era of capitalism.
Your main capital is yourself. Invest in that.
Do an inventory of what's in your head and what you can offer to the world.
Explore yourself. Challenge yourself. Grow.
That's just how it works.
Or else, what happens?
What happens is that you will find yourself in a job you hate, surrounded by people you despise, living a life that feels like it's not yours.
You will feel like an impostor in your own life.
My friend, that's no way to be.
You have to want more.
You have to demand more from yourself.
But first, you have to get to know what hand you've been dealt.
Not doing introspective work (regularly to keep yourself in check) is like playing poker without looking at your hand.
You don't know where that will lead you.
That uncertainty will grow on you and create stress and feeling unfulfilled.
Is that what you want?
Is that the life you think you deserve?
I think you deserve better.
Do you agree?
That's not a question I am asking you.
That's a question I invite you to ask yourself.
Because no matter what your answer is, that's what will define how I will see you (or anyone else).
Truth is:
People do not take the time to actually define themselves.
If you're one of those, I cannot stress enough how important it is that you take the time to ask yourself the right questions.
Who am I?
What do I think of myself?
Who do I want to become?
How can I become the person I want?
What am I insecure about? How can I fix it?
Who can I really count on? Why?
Unless you assess and put your finger on these things, it will be extremely difficult for you to feel fulfilled.
Unlike video games, life does not give you a stats menu.
But that's a good thing.
Why is it a good thing?
Because you get to pick which stats matter.
You get to choose what aspects of your life you deem important and worth improving.
Yes, I know money is one of the most important stats, that's what most people are constantly after.
But let me ask you something:
How do you plan on making more money if you don't even know what you're good/bad at?
We were born in an era of capitalism.
Your main capital is yourself. Invest in that.
Do an inventory of what's in your head and what you can offer to the world.
Explore yourself. Challenge yourself. Grow.
That's just how it works.
Or else, what happens?
What happens is that you will find yourself in a job you hate, surrounded by people you despise, living a life that feels like it's not yours.
You will feel like an impostor in your own life.
My friend, that's no way to be.
You have to want more.
You have to demand more from yourself.
But first, you have to get to know what hand you've been dealt.
Not doing introspective work (regularly to keep yourself in check) is like playing poker without looking at your hand.
You don't know where that will lead you.
That uncertainty will grow on you and create stress and feeling unfulfilled.
Is that what you want?
Is that the life you think you deserve?
I think you deserve better.
Do you agree?
🔥34❤17👍1
How to Stop Being A People-Pleaser
There are way too many down sides to pleasing everyone.
One of them being taken advantage of and even disrespected by most people.
While the intention comes from a good heart; consequences on both social life and mental state are enormously harmful.
Being a people pleaser usually comes from lack of self-confidence.
They will subconsciously think that other's satisfaction is worth more than theirs.
In an attempt not to hurt their feelings or make others feel better about themselves, they will let others step on them.
While there is some sort of satisfaction in being altruistic, being a people pleaser is nothing but harm to every aspect of your persona
A people pleaser is NOT altruistic
They do so because they feel like they're not good enough to stand up to others
Nothing honorable about it
The first thing you want to do if you see yourself as a people pleaser but want to change that, is the following:
Make your opinion heard.
No matter how small or irrelevant the topic is, you should always have your own opinion on it.
Don't just agree with whoever is around.
Second thing is avoid apologizing to often, especially when you think you did nothing wrong.
Easier said than done for some people
Resist the urge of saying sorry just to get over with an uncomfortable situation.
Preserve your self-worth, after all you didn't do anything wrong
Third, stop worrying about disappointing others.
Just like you are understanding of their situation and feelings, they should be able to understand when you refuse to please them.
You don't owe anyone anything.
Realizing what you do wrong is the first step to fixing it.
Take small steps and do small changes on a daily basis.
There is absolutely no need for you to please anyone; but that you already know.
Fourth, force yourself to get out of your comfort zone.
By that I mean, reacting when people try to take advantage of you.
Although it is surely not easy for you to go to conflict, you should try to stop avoiding it.
Conflict is essential to life.
Practice and get good at it.
One thing that might help with accountability on the long run is the following:
Once you get home at the end of your day;
Write down all the times you said yes when you wanted to say no.
Write down the things you did while not wanting to do them.
Forcing yourself to realize those events will not let your subconscious bury it in memories
Side note:
Try implementing the advice of this thread progressively.
Trying to switch from black to white in no time will only lead you to becoming toxic.
You don't want to lose everyone around you, but you also don't want everyone around you to use you.
Find that balance.
There are way too many down sides to pleasing everyone.
One of them being taken advantage of and even disrespected by most people.
While the intention comes from a good heart; consequences on both social life and mental state are enormously harmful.
Being a people pleaser usually comes from lack of self-confidence.
They will subconsciously think that other's satisfaction is worth more than theirs.
In an attempt not to hurt their feelings or make others feel better about themselves, they will let others step on them.
While there is some sort of satisfaction in being altruistic, being a people pleaser is nothing but harm to every aspect of your persona
A people pleaser is NOT altruistic
They do so because they feel like they're not good enough to stand up to others
Nothing honorable about it
The first thing you want to do if you see yourself as a people pleaser but want to change that, is the following:
Make your opinion heard.
No matter how small or irrelevant the topic is, you should always have your own opinion on it.
Don't just agree with whoever is around.
Second thing is avoid apologizing to often, especially when you think you did nothing wrong.
Easier said than done for some people
Resist the urge of saying sorry just to get over with an uncomfortable situation.
Preserve your self-worth, after all you didn't do anything wrong
Third, stop worrying about disappointing others.
Just like you are understanding of their situation and feelings, they should be able to understand when you refuse to please them.
You don't owe anyone anything.
Realizing what you do wrong is the first step to fixing it.
Take small steps and do small changes on a daily basis.
There is absolutely no need for you to please anyone; but that you already know.
Fourth, force yourself to get out of your comfort zone.
By that I mean, reacting when people try to take advantage of you.
Although it is surely not easy for you to go to conflict, you should try to stop avoiding it.
Conflict is essential to life.
Practice and get good at it.
One thing that might help with accountability on the long run is the following:
Once you get home at the end of your day;
Write down all the times you said yes when you wanted to say no.
Write down the things you did while not wanting to do them.
Forcing yourself to realize those events will not let your subconscious bury it in memories
Side note:
Try implementing the advice of this thread progressively.
Trying to switch from black to white in no time will only lead you to becoming toxic.
You don't want to lose everyone around you, but you also don't want everyone around you to use you.
Find that balance.
🔥21❤7