Your actions should serve one main purpose:

Proudly saying this is the life you chose.

Nothing worse than being imposed a role to play.

Nothing better than becoming the person you chose to be.

Your integrity is priceless and irreplaceable.

If you do not hold yourself to high standards, you have no right to expect people to hold high standards for you.

It's stupid but a minimum amount of decency goes a long way.

Guess what?

Most people are indecent.

They do not reciprocate and they abuse others any time they can.

But if you start doing the same, you're no different than the worst of them.

If you genuinely want to be surrounded by better people; start with yourself and make sure you're worth being around.

Nobody's going to hold you accountable for this.

But again, if you don't uphold your integrity, you will always feel like a fraud.

Nothing is worth internal peace of mind.

Be a person of honor and values.

Be simply different.

Whatever you do, do it for yourself.

Don’t expect congratulations.
Don’t expect apologies.
Don’t expect gratitude.

Stop listening to people, you’ll never see the end of it.

They’ll always talk shit anyway.

No matter how you look at it, you are in the best position to decide of your self-importance.

You know who you are better than anyone else.

When I was nothing, when I was taking repetitive Ls, making the worst choices and wasting some of the supposedly best years of my life away, nobody saw that.

When I had only God and myself to count on, I don’t remember anyone witnessing the internal pain I went through.

When I pulled myself out of that shit hole, I don’t remember anyone pulling me up.

When life humbled me, nobody saw that.

When I rebuilt myself, now people want to have an opinion on me?

Who the fuck are you to tell others who they are?

Most people have no idea of who you are, they haven’t been there and all they can do is guess.

People don’t want you to experience what they don’t understand.

It makes them feel like they failed.

Nobody’s going to help you get what you want.

And when you do get it, they’ll say you don’t deserve it.

And if you take credit for it, they’ll say you lack humility.

Ignore that shit.

I'm thrilled to announce that our much-awaited course, 'Assert Yourself', is now live and open for enrollment! If you've already pre-ordered the course, check your Gumroad library!

This in-depth workbook is meticulously crafted to help you boost your social assertiveness skills through a series of engaging exercises and practical applications.

If you've ever faced difficulties in expressing your opinions, establishing boundaries, or effectively communicating your needs, this course is tailor-made for you.

With 'Assert Yourself', you'll acquire practical techniques for confidently voicing your thoughts, managing conflict, and challenging conversations, all while preserving positive relationships with the people around you.

Enroll now to save 33% off

We, Social Skills University, made 5 ready-to-use assertiveness templates you can start using TODAY.

We know that once you start trying to become more assertive, you'll be met with a load of horse shit telling you:

"Be confident!"

"Stand up for yourself!"

"Believe in yourself!"

And other vague statements that serve no real purpose.

Listen, we know that is not real advice.

That's why we avoid it.

We know that you want exact formulas that get rid of the headache of having to come up with answers faster.

But the risk is using the wrong one at the wrong time right?

Don't worry. We made sure to explain each one.

Each of these is suitable for a different context.

But the best part? You can literally just reuse them whenever you need to.

No more guessing.

-

Formula 1: I need _____. How about _____? 

Explanation: This formula helps you clearly communicate what you need without apologizing or justifying yourself. It's a simple and direct way to assert your needs and boundaries. The second part makes it clear that it's about YOUR needs and not about the other person. Your willingness to meet at a later time shows that.

Clear, simple, and effective.

Example: "I need some alone time right now to recharge. How about we catch up later?"

-

Formula 2: When you ____, it makes me feel ____. I would appreciate it if _____.

Explanation: This formula helps you express how someone's actions affect you without blaming them. It's a way to communicate assertively while still showing empathy and being considerate of the other person's feelings.

This is better used in a one-to-one conversation. As it may make people feel attacked if there is an audience to the conversation. Better say this privately.

Example: "When you interrupt me while I'm speaking, it makes me feel disrespected and undervalued. I would appreciate it if you could let me finish before responding."

-

Formula 3: I appreciate your input, but ______. 

Explanation: This formula acknowledges the other person's input while asserting your autonomy and decision-making power. It's a way to politely decline someone's advice or suggestion without getting defensive or argumentative.

Example: "I appreciate your input, but I have made my decision. I feel confident in my choice and would like your support in moving forward."

-

Formula 4: I understand your concern, but this is what's best for me.

Explanation: This formula shows empathy for the other person's concern while asserting your own autonomy and decision-making power. It's a way to respectfully decline someone's input or opinion without getting defensive or argumentative.

Example: "I understand your concern, but I have considered all the options and this is what's best for me. I appreciate your input, but I feel confident in my decision."

-

Formula 5: That doesn't work for me. How about we try _____ instead? 

Explanation: This formula helps you assert your boundaries and offer an alternative solution. It's a way to communicate assertively while still being collaborative and finding a compromise.

Example: "That doesn't work for me. How about we try scheduling our meetings earlier in the day instead?"

-

Social Skills University's new course, "Assert Yourself!" is designed to help you develop your assertiveness skills, so you can communicate more effectively and confidently.

This course will teach you how to:

-Develop a deeper understanding of negotiation & assertiveness

-Maintain Healthy Relationships while Standing up for yourself

-Learn to say NO guilt-free

-Use the ECC Formula (Empathy, Clarity, Conciseness)

BONUS: Worksheets and exercises for every chapter.

By the end of the course, you will have the knowledge and tools to create your own assertiveness formulas.

Plus, for a limited time, you can access this course for a special launch price of only $20, instead of the regular $30. Don't miss out on this incredible deal and sign up now! Click the link below to get started:

Assert Yourself Today

7500.

Grand Rising.

5 Tips for Mastering the Art of Assertiveness

Assertiveness is a crucial skill that can help you communicate more effectively, establish healthy boundaries, and maintain self-confidence.

To help you navigate this delicate balance, here are five key strategies to enhance your assertiveness:

Keep Your Cool in Stressful Situations

A key aspect of being assertive is learning how to remain calm and composed under stress. When you're able to maintain a level-headed demeanor, you'll be better equipped to articulate your thoughts and needs clearly.

So, take a deep breath, stay focused on the issue at hand, and remember that you have every right to express yourself.

Learn to Make Requests Confidently

One of the foundations of assertiveness is knowing when and how to ask for what you want. When making a request, be clear and concise about what you need from the other person.

Remember that it's okay to ask for help or support, and you shouldn't feel guilty for doing so.

Harness the Power of Assertive Body Language

Your non-verbal communication can be just as important as the words you say when it comes to being assertive. Adopting assertive body language can help convey your message with confidence and authority.

Some key components of assertive body language include: Maintaining eye contact Standing or sitting up straight

Using open, relaxed gestures Speaking with a clear, confident tone

Project Confidence Through Your Body Language

Confident body language goes hand-in-hand with assertive communication. When you display signs of confidence, others are more likely to take you seriously and respect your boundaries.

Some ways to project confidence through your body language include:
Keeping your chin up and shoulders back
Taking up space by standing or sitting with a wide stance
Using purposeful, controlled gestures
Avoiding nervous habits, like fidgeting or touching your face

Disagree Respectfully and Make Your Case

Assertiveness involves standing up for your beliefs and opinions, even when they differ from those of others. When disagreeing, make sure to do so respectfully, while clearly stating your own case.

This can be done by:

Acknowledging the other person's point of view
Stating your disagreement with specific reasons or examples
Suggesting alternatives or solutions that align with your perspective

"Everyone's friend is nobody's friend" is simply wrong and misleading.

It implies that friendship is a zero-sum game, meaning the more friends we have, the less valuable each one becomes.

That's simply not true.

Of course, quality over quantity. In all things, not just friendships.

But the more friends you have, the more valuable your network is.

The more options you have and the more opportunities come to you.

Friendships also have degrees.

A close friend is not an acquaintance.

So it's not because your close friend knows someone you don't like that they won't be loyal to you if need be.

To this flawed proverb, I prefer:

"You cannot trust a man without enemies."

Grand Rising.

Lack of power is bad for your health. To have power is to be in control. To lack it is to be at the mercy of arbitrary decisions, mood swings, the agenda of those who can say yes or no.

This is very unpleasant.

You have already felt this sense of injustice.

Perhaps it was a job interview, a request for promotion, the cancellation of a fine, obtaining financing or the signature of a client...

In any case, you were told no. But you had done your job. Your request cost you time, energy, courage...but “no”.

A definitive “no”, a “no” that you have no control over, a “no” that can set you on the wrong track.

A “no” is a blow to your morale. It will trigger anger, sadness, shame or indignation.

The worst thing is that if you let these emotions show, you are confirming the other person's decision: it is proof that your shoulders were not wide enough, that you were not stable enough, that you were not ready yet.

This experience, when repeated, produces doubt: what if they were right, what if I was mediocre, less good than the others? This doubt produces stress: what will become of me? will I ever make it?

Yes, you will.

Make your plans and let people adapt to them.

Don't budge.
Don't compromise.
Don't negotiate.

The more you indulge in explanation and allow discussion, the more time you waste and the more likely you are to concede and go out of your way.

The best way to avoid being influenced or manipulated is by simply sticking to the promises you made to yourself.

Saying "I don't have time for this." should never sound bitter in your mouth.

It should sound determine and categorical.

Be sharp in your decisions.
Be consistent in your execution.
Be intense in the pursuit of your goals.

Grand Rising.

Ego is not arrogance.

Arrogance is a behavior.
Ego is an idea.

Ego simply means sense of identity.

Ego being symbolic of arrogance is a common misinterpretation of the concept and a mistake everyone makes.

Words have meanings, you cannot just assume and use it however you please.

Ego is essential to human psyche and functioning, denying it or antagonizing it can only result in severe mental problems.

Ego is central to consciousness.

And without it, no human being can function.

The idea of transcending your ego is a religious fairytale.

As a human being, you cannot and should not try to get rid of your ego.

Because if you defeat your ego, then who wins?

Understand this:

You cannot run away from yourself.

Grand Rising.

Growing up, I used to be extremely shy (I know it's hard to believe lol but I used to be very different)

I remember as a kid, in school...

Whenever a teacher asked a question, I'd give the answer to my classmate.

I felt too shy to speak up;
I felt that people would judge me if my answer was wrong.

Later in life, on many occasions, I failed to get what I wanted because I was afraid of various imaginary scenarios going on in my head.

"What if I say something wrong? I better stay silent."

"They may make fun of me if I say that."

But that's not even the worst part.

Because when you think like this, your mind is already made up.

The worst part is the internal conflict.

"Should I speak up? It's better if I don't."

"Maybe I shouldn't... But.. I should."

and the back and forth kept going.

Sometimes for so long that the opportunity just vanishes while I'd stay stuck in my own head.

It truly is mental torture.

I promised myself I'd get over this.

So I did.

It took a lot of trial and error.

But I went through it so you don't have to.

Here are some things that truly helped me fix this:

-Understand that everyone has insecurities, and you are not alone in your feelings of shyness. This knowledge can help you feel more at ease in social situations.

-Shift your focus from your internal thoughts and feelings to the world around you. By observing your surroundings, you'll be more likely to find common ground with others and feel less self-conscious.

-Choose to act, especially when you feel shy.

-Challenge your beliefs about worst-case scenarios in social situations. Instead, try to consider more positive outcomes and remember that everyone makes mistakes, and it's not the end of the world.

-Recognize that it's normal to feel nervous in certain situations. Embrace these feelings as a natural part of the human experience rather than fighting them.

-Normalize physical reactions: If you blush, shake, or sweat during social interactions, don't dwell on these reactions. It happens to everyone.

-Change the way you talk to yourself. Encourage yourself, acknowledge your progress, and celebrate small victories in overcoming shyness.

Last but not least:

Stop seeing shyness as a barrier, view it as an opportunity for growth.

Embrace your shyness as a sign that you're pushing your boundaries and becoming less shy over time.

Persevere and continue to put yourself out there, knowing that your efforts are helping you grow.

INSTANT AND SPONTANEOUS ACTION IS THE SOLUTION.

If you see a solution, go for it right there and right then.

Do not hesitate. Do not think twice.

Do shit, deal with the consequences.

If you move fast enough, you don't have time to worry.

Fix everything without wasting a single second.

Pick up the beautiful habit of responding to problems with immediate action.

ACTION = REACTION

"Oh but what if I regret it later?"

You'll never know if you don't do it.

What if you don't?

Seriously, don't overthink it.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."

Many people find themselves in this rut, clinging onto past glories and unable to embrace the present or future.

Sure, it might feel comfortable and familiar, but it can also be limiting and downright boring.

Why settle for a stagnant existence when there's so much more out there?

One of the biggest culprits of staying stuck is the belief that your past was your peak.

Maybe you had a great job, a thriving social life, or a fulfilling relationship, and now you can't imagine anything topping that.

But guess what?

Life is full of peaks and valleys, and just because you hit a high point in the past doesn't mean you've reached your limit. In fact, the best may be yet to come.

"The past does not equal the future unless you live there."

Don't let your past successes (or failures) dictate your present or future.

Focus on the present moment and all the possibilities it holds.

Think of your past as a foundation for your future, not a blueprint that must be replicated.

So how do you avoid getting stuck?

Keep moving.

Don't settle for complacency or comfort.

Challenge yourself to try new things, meet new people, and explore new horizons.

Growth and progress require a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.

If you're not willing to do that, you're simply not going to make it.

You need that conscious choice.

And here is how you do it:

Instead of thinking in terms of scarcity ("I only have so much time/money/energy"), adopt a mindset of abundance ("There's always more where that came from").

When you believe that there's an endless supply of opportunities, resources, and experiences available to you, you'll be more likely to take risks and pursue your dreams.

Don't let the past hold you back.

The best is yet to come, and it's up to you to make the most of it.

Managing your mental space is crucial to maintaining your sanity.

In a world where we are constantly bombarded with information and opinions, it can be difficult to know what to focus on and what to let go of.

The solution?

Give no fucks about what doesn't matter to you.

It's easy to get caught up in the opinions and beliefs of others, especially in the age of social media.

But the truth is that not everything is worth your time and energy.

earning to let go of what doesn't matter can be incredibly liberating.

To do this, it's important to prioritize your mental space.

Ask yourself: "Does it impact my life in ANY way?"

If the answer is no, then why waste your mental energy on it?

You don't have to have an opinion on everything.

And most of the time, it really doesn't have any direct effect on your life.

Of course, there are some things that do matter and that we should care about.

But even in these cases, it's important to focus on what you can do to make a difference rather than getting bogged down in the negativity and hopelessness of the situation.

For example, let's say you come across a news article about a celebrity's latest scandal. Do you really need to have an opinion on it? Does it impact your life in any meaningful way?

Probably not.

Or, let's say you're at a party and someone brings up a topic that doesn't interest you. Do you need to engage in the conversation or have an opinion on the matter? Not necessarily.

You can simply choose to disengage and focus your attention on something that does interest you.

By focusing on what truly matters to you and letting go of what doesn't, you can create a mental space that is free from unnecessary clutter and noise.

You can prioritize your own thoughts, rather than being influenced by the opinions of others.

In the end, it's all about balance.

Yes, it's important to care about the things that matter and take action when necessary, but it's equally important to let go of what doesn't matter and focus on your own mental well-being.

Give no fucks about what doesn't matter to you, and prioritize your mental space.

Trust me on this one, you'd be surprised how much more you'll achieve by simply ignore what doesn't impact your life.