Make your plans and let people adapt to them.
Don't budge.
Don't compromise.
Don't negotiate.
The more you indulge in explanation and allow discussion, the more time you waste and the more likely you are to concede and go out of your way.
The best way to avoid being influenced or manipulated is by simply sticking to the promises you made to yourself.
Saying "I don't have time for this." should never sound bitter in your mouth.
It should sound determine and categorical.
Be sharp in your decisions.
Be consistent in your execution.
Be intense in the pursuit of your goals.
Grand Rising.
Don't budge.
Don't compromise.
Don't negotiate.
The more you indulge in explanation and allow discussion, the more time you waste and the more likely you are to concede and go out of your way.
The best way to avoid being influenced or manipulated is by simply sticking to the promises you made to yourself.
Saying "I don't have time for this." should never sound bitter in your mouth.
It should sound determine and categorical.
Be sharp in your decisions.
Be consistent in your execution.
Be intense in the pursuit of your goals.
Grand Rising.
🔥31❤8🤯1
Ego is not arrogance.
Arrogance is a behavior.
Ego is an idea.
Ego simply means sense of identity.
Ego being symbolic of arrogance is a common misinterpretation of the concept and a mistake everyone makes.
Words have meanings, you cannot just assume and use it however you please.
Ego is essential to human psyche and functioning, denying it or antagonizing it can only result in severe mental problems.
Ego is central to consciousness.
And without it, no human being can function.
The idea of transcending your ego is a religious fairytale.
As a human being, you cannot and should not try to get rid of your ego.
Because if you defeat your ego, then who wins?
Understand this:
You cannot run away from yourself.
Arrogance is a behavior.
Ego is an idea.
Ego simply means sense of identity.
Ego being symbolic of arrogance is a common misinterpretation of the concept and a mistake everyone makes.
Words have meanings, you cannot just assume and use it however you please.
Ego is essential to human psyche and functioning, denying it or antagonizing it can only result in severe mental problems.
Ego is central to consciousness.
And without it, no human being can function.
The idea of transcending your ego is a religious fairytale.
As a human being, you cannot and should not try to get rid of your ego.
Because if you defeat your ego, then who wins?
Understand this:
You cannot run away from yourself.
🔥30❤5
Growing up, I used to be extremely shy (I know it's hard to believe lol but I used to be very different)
I remember as a kid, in school...
Whenever a teacher asked a question, I'd give the answer to my classmate.
I felt too shy to speak up;
I felt that people would judge me if my answer was wrong.
Later in life, on many occasions, I failed to get what I wanted because I was afraid of various imaginary scenarios going on in my head.
"What if I say something wrong? I better stay silent."
"They may make fun of me if I say that."
But that's not even the worst part.
Because when you think like this, your mind is already made up.
The worst part is the internal conflict.
"Should I speak up? It's better if I don't."
"Maybe I shouldn't... But.. I should."
and the back and forth kept going.
Sometimes for so long that the opportunity just vanishes while I'd stay stuck in my own head.
It truly is mental torture.
I promised myself I'd get over this.
So I did.
It took a lot of trial and error.
But I went through it so you don't have to.
Here are some things that truly helped me fix this:
-Understand that everyone has insecurities, and you are not alone in your feelings of shyness. This knowledge can help you feel more at ease in social situations.
-Shift your focus from your internal thoughts and feelings to the world around you. By observing your surroundings, you'll be more likely to find common ground with others and feel less self-conscious.
-Choose to act, especially when you feel shy.
-Challenge your beliefs about worst-case scenarios in social situations. Instead, try to consider more positive outcomes and remember that everyone makes mistakes, and it's not the end of the world.
-Recognize that it's normal to feel nervous in certain situations. Embrace these feelings as a natural part of the human experience rather than fighting them.
-Normalize physical reactions: If you blush, shake, or sweat during social interactions, don't dwell on these reactions. It happens to everyone.
-Change the way you talk to yourself. Encourage yourself, acknowledge your progress, and celebrate small victories in overcoming shyness.
Last but not least:
Stop seeing shyness as a barrier, view it as an opportunity for growth.
Embrace your shyness as a sign that you're pushing your boundaries and becoming less shy over time.
Persevere and continue to put yourself out there, knowing that your efforts are helping you grow.
I remember as a kid, in school...
Whenever a teacher asked a question, I'd give the answer to my classmate.
I felt too shy to speak up;
I felt that people would judge me if my answer was wrong.
Later in life, on many occasions, I failed to get what I wanted because I was afraid of various imaginary scenarios going on in my head.
"What if I say something wrong? I better stay silent."
"They may make fun of me if I say that."
But that's not even the worst part.
Because when you think like this, your mind is already made up.
The worst part is the internal conflict.
"Should I speak up? It's better if I don't."
"Maybe I shouldn't... But.. I should."
and the back and forth kept going.
Sometimes for so long that the opportunity just vanishes while I'd stay stuck in my own head.
It truly is mental torture.
I promised myself I'd get over this.
So I did.
It took a lot of trial and error.
But I went through it so you don't have to.
Here are some things that truly helped me fix this:
-Understand that everyone has insecurities, and you are not alone in your feelings of shyness. This knowledge can help you feel more at ease in social situations.
-Shift your focus from your internal thoughts and feelings to the world around you. By observing your surroundings, you'll be more likely to find common ground with others and feel less self-conscious.
-Choose to act, especially when you feel shy.
-Challenge your beliefs about worst-case scenarios in social situations. Instead, try to consider more positive outcomes and remember that everyone makes mistakes, and it's not the end of the world.
-Recognize that it's normal to feel nervous in certain situations. Embrace these feelings as a natural part of the human experience rather than fighting them.
-Normalize physical reactions: If you blush, shake, or sweat during social interactions, don't dwell on these reactions. It happens to everyone.
-Change the way you talk to yourself. Encourage yourself, acknowledge your progress, and celebrate small victories in overcoming shyness.
Last but not least:
Stop seeing shyness as a barrier, view it as an opportunity for growth.
Embrace your shyness as a sign that you're pushing your boundaries and becoming less shy over time.
Persevere and continue to put yourself out there, knowing that your efforts are helping you grow.
❤34🔥23
INSTANT AND SPONTANEOUS ACTION IS THE SOLUTION.
If you see a solution, go for it right there and right then.
Do not hesitate. Do not think twice.
Do shit, deal with the consequences.
If you move fast enough, you don't have time to worry.
Fix everything without wasting a single second.
Pick up the beautiful habit of responding to problems with immediate action.
ACTION = REACTION
"Oh but what if I regret it later?"
You'll never know if you don't do it.
What if you don't?
Seriously, don't overthink it.
If you see a solution, go for it right there and right then.
Do not hesitate. Do not think twice.
Do shit, deal with the consequences.
If you move fast enough, you don't have time to worry.
Fix everything without wasting a single second.
Pick up the beautiful habit of responding to problems with immediate action.
ACTION = REACTION
"Oh but what if I regret it later?"
You'll never know if you don't do it.
What if you don't?
Seriously, don't overthink it.
🔥34❤12
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."
Many people find themselves in this rut, clinging onto past glories and unable to embrace the present or future.
Sure, it might feel comfortable and familiar, but it can also be limiting and downright boring.
Why settle for a stagnant existence when there's so much more out there?
One of the biggest culprits of staying stuck is the belief that your past was your peak.
Maybe you had a great job, a thriving social life, or a fulfilling relationship, and now you can't imagine anything topping that.
But guess what?
Life is full of peaks and valleys, and just because you hit a high point in the past doesn't mean you've reached your limit. In fact, the best may be yet to come.
"The past does not equal the future unless you live there."
Don't let your past successes (or failures) dictate your present or future.
Focus on the present moment and all the possibilities it holds.
Think of your past as a foundation for your future, not a blueprint that must be replicated.
So how do you avoid getting stuck?
Keep moving.
Don't settle for complacency or comfort.
Challenge yourself to try new things, meet new people, and explore new horizons.
Growth and progress require a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.
If you're not willing to do that, you're simply not going to make it.
You need that conscious choice.
And here is how you do it:
Instead of thinking in terms of scarcity ("I only have so much time/money/energy"), adopt a mindset of abundance ("There's always more where that came from").
When you believe that there's an endless supply of opportunities, resources, and experiences available to you, you'll be more likely to take risks and pursue your dreams.
Don't let the past hold you back.
The best is yet to come, and it's up to you to make the most of it.
Many people find themselves in this rut, clinging onto past glories and unable to embrace the present or future.
Sure, it might feel comfortable and familiar, but it can also be limiting and downright boring.
Why settle for a stagnant existence when there's so much more out there?
One of the biggest culprits of staying stuck is the belief that your past was your peak.
Maybe you had a great job, a thriving social life, or a fulfilling relationship, and now you can't imagine anything topping that.
But guess what?
Life is full of peaks and valleys, and just because you hit a high point in the past doesn't mean you've reached your limit. In fact, the best may be yet to come.
"The past does not equal the future unless you live there."
Don't let your past successes (or failures) dictate your present or future.
Focus on the present moment and all the possibilities it holds.
Think of your past as a foundation for your future, not a blueprint that must be replicated.
So how do you avoid getting stuck?
Keep moving.
Don't settle for complacency or comfort.
Challenge yourself to try new things, meet new people, and explore new horizons.
Growth and progress require a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.
If you're not willing to do that, you're simply not going to make it.
You need that conscious choice.
And here is how you do it:
Instead of thinking in terms of scarcity ("I only have so much time/money/energy"), adopt a mindset of abundance ("There's always more where that came from").
When you believe that there's an endless supply of opportunities, resources, and experiences available to you, you'll be more likely to take risks and pursue your dreams.
Don't let the past hold you back.
The best is yet to come, and it's up to you to make the most of it.
🔥22❤12
Managing your mental space is crucial to maintaining your sanity.
In a world where we are constantly bombarded with information and opinions, it can be difficult to know what to focus on and what to let go of.
The solution?
Give no fucks about what doesn't matter to you.
It's easy to get caught up in the opinions and beliefs of others, especially in the age of social media.
But the truth is that not everything is worth your time and energy.
earning to let go of what doesn't matter can be incredibly liberating.
To do this, it's important to prioritize your mental space.
Ask yourself: "Does it impact my life in ANY way?"
If the answer is no, then why waste your mental energy on it?
You don't have to have an opinion on everything.
And most of the time, it really doesn't have any direct effect on your life.
Of course, there are some things that do matter and that we should care about.
But even in these cases, it's important to focus on what you can do to make a difference rather than getting bogged down in the negativity and hopelessness of the situation.
For example, let's say you come across a news article about a celebrity's latest scandal. Do you really need to have an opinion on it? Does it impact your life in any meaningful way?
Probably not.
Or, let's say you're at a party and someone brings up a topic that doesn't interest you. Do you need to engage in the conversation or have an opinion on the matter? Not necessarily.
You can simply choose to disengage and focus your attention on something that does interest you.
By focusing on what truly matters to you and letting go of what doesn't, you can create a mental space that is free from unnecessary clutter and noise.
You can prioritize your own thoughts, rather than being influenced by the opinions of others.
In the end, it's all about balance.
Yes, it's important to care about the things that matter and take action when necessary, but it's equally important to let go of what doesn't matter and focus on your own mental well-being.
Give no fucks about what doesn't matter to you, and prioritize your mental space.
Trust me on this one, you'd be surprised how much more you'll achieve by simply ignore what doesn't impact your life.
In a world where we are constantly bombarded with information and opinions, it can be difficult to know what to focus on and what to let go of.
The solution?
Give no fucks about what doesn't matter to you.
It's easy to get caught up in the opinions and beliefs of others, especially in the age of social media.
But the truth is that not everything is worth your time and energy.
earning to let go of what doesn't matter can be incredibly liberating.
To do this, it's important to prioritize your mental space.
Ask yourself: "Does it impact my life in ANY way?"
If the answer is no, then why waste your mental energy on it?
You don't have to have an opinion on everything.
And most of the time, it really doesn't have any direct effect on your life.
Of course, there are some things that do matter and that we should care about.
But even in these cases, it's important to focus on what you can do to make a difference rather than getting bogged down in the negativity and hopelessness of the situation.
For example, let's say you come across a news article about a celebrity's latest scandal. Do you really need to have an opinion on it? Does it impact your life in any meaningful way?
Probably not.
Or, let's say you're at a party and someone brings up a topic that doesn't interest you. Do you need to engage in the conversation or have an opinion on the matter? Not necessarily.
You can simply choose to disengage and focus your attention on something that does interest you.
By focusing on what truly matters to you and letting go of what doesn't, you can create a mental space that is free from unnecessary clutter and noise.
You can prioritize your own thoughts, rather than being influenced by the opinions of others.
In the end, it's all about balance.
Yes, it's important to care about the things that matter and take action when necessary, but it's equally important to let go of what doesn't matter and focus on your own mental well-being.
Give no fucks about what doesn't matter to you, and prioritize your mental space.
Trust me on this one, you'd be surprised how much more you'll achieve by simply ignore what doesn't impact your life.
❤25🔥12
Let me tell you a story about my experience joining my university's football club.
I've always loved football and was excited to be a part of a team that shared my passion for the sport.
But things didn't exactly go as planned.
At first, the tryouts were no problem for me, and I was thrilled when I got accepted into the club.
But once I joined my first practice session, I quickly realized that there was a clear divide between the main team and the rest of us.
It seemed like the main team was composed of a group of friends who had known each other for a while, and the coach had very little say in who was selected to play.
To be honest, some of the reserve team players were actually better than the starters, but it didn't seem to matter.
I couldn't help but wonder what was going on. It wasn't just about skill - there seemed to be something else at play.
So I made it my goal to join the main team and become a starter by the end of the semester.
I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I was up for the challenge.
I knew how good I was and I knew that I objectively deserved a place on that team.
I decided to analyze the group more and figure out the group dynamics.
Who was calling the shots, who had no say, who liked who, and who hated who?
I knew that understanding these dynamics would be key to getting what I wanted.
It didn't take long for me to realize that the keeper was the one who was truly in charge of the team.
So I made it my mission to befriend him and try to get in his good graces.
I figured that if I could win him over, it would be much easier for me to become a starter.
But there was a problem - the guy who was playing in my position happened to be the keeper's roommate.
It was clear that they were good friends, which made it extremely hard for me to take his place on the team, even though I was objectively better than him.
So I decided to take a different approach. Instead of trying to compete with the current striker, I made it my mission to team up with him and create a sort of tandem where we could complement each other's strengths in the attack.
It wasn't easy - he wasn't the best player, and it took some work to get on the same page. But I knew it was my best shot at becoming a starter.
Eventually, my efforts paid off. I became a starter and began playing together with the striker upfront.
It wasn't exactly the way I had planned it, but it worked.
I was on the pitch and it only took a few games for the whole team to realize they'd rather pass me the ball rather than passing to my partner.
The lesson here is that understanding group dynamics is key to success in any social situation.
Whether you're joining a new sports team or starting a new job, it's important to take the time to observe the dynamics at play and figure out your position in the group.
Who are the influential members, and how can you get in their good graces? Who are the potential allies or rivals, and how can you build relationships that will help you succeed?
Being aware of the group dynamics can help you navigate social situations more effectively and avoid unnecessary conflicts or misunderstandings.
So, the next time you find yourself in a new social group, remember this and take the time to spot the dynamics. It might just make all the difference.
I've always loved football and was excited to be a part of a team that shared my passion for the sport.
But things didn't exactly go as planned.
At first, the tryouts were no problem for me, and I was thrilled when I got accepted into the club.
But once I joined my first practice session, I quickly realized that there was a clear divide between the main team and the rest of us.
It seemed like the main team was composed of a group of friends who had known each other for a while, and the coach had very little say in who was selected to play.
To be honest, some of the reserve team players were actually better than the starters, but it didn't seem to matter.
I couldn't help but wonder what was going on. It wasn't just about skill - there seemed to be something else at play.
So I made it my goal to join the main team and become a starter by the end of the semester.
I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I was up for the challenge.
I knew how good I was and I knew that I objectively deserved a place on that team.
I decided to analyze the group more and figure out the group dynamics.
Who was calling the shots, who had no say, who liked who, and who hated who?
I knew that understanding these dynamics would be key to getting what I wanted.
It didn't take long for me to realize that the keeper was the one who was truly in charge of the team.
So I made it my mission to befriend him and try to get in his good graces.
I figured that if I could win him over, it would be much easier for me to become a starter.
But there was a problem - the guy who was playing in my position happened to be the keeper's roommate.
It was clear that they were good friends, which made it extremely hard for me to take his place on the team, even though I was objectively better than him.
So I decided to take a different approach. Instead of trying to compete with the current striker, I made it my mission to team up with him and create a sort of tandem where we could complement each other's strengths in the attack.
It wasn't easy - he wasn't the best player, and it took some work to get on the same page. But I knew it was my best shot at becoming a starter.
Eventually, my efforts paid off. I became a starter and began playing together with the striker upfront.
It wasn't exactly the way I had planned it, but it worked.
I was on the pitch and it only took a few games for the whole team to realize they'd rather pass me the ball rather than passing to my partner.
The lesson here is that understanding group dynamics is key to success in any social situation.
Whether you're joining a new sports team or starting a new job, it's important to take the time to observe the dynamics at play and figure out your position in the group.
Who are the influential members, and how can you get in their good graces? Who are the potential allies or rivals, and how can you build relationships that will help you succeed?
Being aware of the group dynamics can help you navigate social situations more effectively and avoid unnecessary conflicts or misunderstandings.
So, the next time you find yourself in a new social group, remember this and take the time to spot the dynamics. It might just make all the difference.
❤19🔥18
Saying "yes" to something you don't want to do is the ultimate act of disrespect to yourself.
It’s just the truth.
It shows that you don't value your own time, energy, and well-being as much as you value someone else's.
And that's not okay.
It's time to stop apologizing for choosing your self-interest over doing favors.
Your interests matter, and they deserve to be honored. When you say "no" to something you don't want to do, you're not being selfish - you're being authentic.
You're acknowledging your own needs and boundaries, and that's a powerful thing.
Think about it this way - if you constantly say "yes" to things you don't want to do, you're sending a message to the world that your time and energy are expendable.
You're setting a precedent that it's okay for others to take advantage of you, and that's not a healthy or sustainable way to live.
On the other hand, when you say "no" to something you don't want to do, you're setting a clear boundary and sending a message that your needs matter.
You're respecting yourself, and in turn, others will respect you more for it.
Of course, saying "no" can be easier said than done.
I’ll give you that. It’s not always easy.
It can feel uncomfortable, awkward, or even scary.
But here's the thing - the more you practice saying "no," the easier it becomes.
And the more you honor your own needs, the more empowered and confident you'll feel.
So, the next time someone asks you to do a favor you don't want to do, remember this: you have the power to say "no."
You have the power to prioritize your own interests and well-being.
And you have the power to show the world that you're worthy of respect and dignity.
Don't let the fear of disappointing others or losing their approval hold you back from honoring your own needs.
Saying "no" is not a sign of weakness - it's a sign of strength and self-respect.
It’s just the truth.
It shows that you don't value your own time, energy, and well-being as much as you value someone else's.
And that's not okay.
It's time to stop apologizing for choosing your self-interest over doing favors.
Your interests matter, and they deserve to be honored. When you say "no" to something you don't want to do, you're not being selfish - you're being authentic.
You're acknowledging your own needs and boundaries, and that's a powerful thing.
Think about it this way - if you constantly say "yes" to things you don't want to do, you're sending a message to the world that your time and energy are expendable.
You're setting a precedent that it's okay for others to take advantage of you, and that's not a healthy or sustainable way to live.
On the other hand, when you say "no" to something you don't want to do, you're setting a clear boundary and sending a message that your needs matter.
You're respecting yourself, and in turn, others will respect you more for it.
Of course, saying "no" can be easier said than done.
I’ll give you that. It’s not always easy.
It can feel uncomfortable, awkward, or even scary.
But here's the thing - the more you practice saying "no," the easier it becomes.
And the more you honor your own needs, the more empowered and confident you'll feel.
So, the next time someone asks you to do a favor you don't want to do, remember this: you have the power to say "no."
You have the power to prioritize your own interests and well-being.
And you have the power to show the world that you're worthy of respect and dignity.
Don't let the fear of disappointing others or losing their approval hold you back from honoring your own needs.
Saying "no" is not a sign of weakness - it's a sign of strength and self-respect.
❤19🔥14
I used to overshare a lot. I would tell anyone and everyone everything, thinking that my secrets were safe. But the reality was, the more I shared, the more my secrets got out.
One time, I remember telling a friend about a brand I wanted to start. I showed him all my ideas and designs and gave him access to all the information I was working on. I trusted him, and he said he could help me with it.
Fast forward a few months, and I'm looking for competitors. I come across a website and Instagram profile that do EXACTLY what I had in mind. It was as if someone implemented everything I was working on. And then, I saw it: my logo on their website.
I couldn't believe it. I had shared my idea with someone I thought I could trust, and now they had stolen it from me. It was a harsh lesson to learn, but it taught me two things:
First, when you get an idea, act fast.
Don't wait around and let someone else beat you to the punch. Take action, even if it's just a small step in the right direction. It could make all the difference.
Second, learn to keep your mouth shut.
Sharing too much information can cost you money, time, and even friendships. So, it's important to be selective about who you share your ideas with and how much you reveal.
The importance of these two principles cannot be overstated.
When you have an idea, act fast and be selective about who you share it with.
The less they know, the less they can ruin.
I may have lost an opportunity on that day, but I learned two valuable lessons that I’ll take with me to the grave.
And the truth is, someone like that who was ready to backstab me?
Did I really lose a friend?
I don’t think so.
One time, I remember telling a friend about a brand I wanted to start. I showed him all my ideas and designs and gave him access to all the information I was working on. I trusted him, and he said he could help me with it.
Fast forward a few months, and I'm looking for competitors. I come across a website and Instagram profile that do EXACTLY what I had in mind. It was as if someone implemented everything I was working on. And then, I saw it: my logo on their website.
I couldn't believe it. I had shared my idea with someone I thought I could trust, and now they had stolen it from me. It was a harsh lesson to learn, but it taught me two things:
First, when you get an idea, act fast.
Don't wait around and let someone else beat you to the punch. Take action, even if it's just a small step in the right direction. It could make all the difference.
Second, learn to keep your mouth shut.
Sharing too much information can cost you money, time, and even friendships. So, it's important to be selective about who you share your ideas with and how much you reveal.
The importance of these two principles cannot be overstated.
When you have an idea, act fast and be selective about who you share it with.
The less they know, the less they can ruin.
I may have lost an opportunity on that day, but I learned two valuable lessons that I’ll take with me to the grave.
And the truth is, someone like that who was ready to backstab me?
Did I really lose a friend?
I don’t think so.
❤28🔥24🤯1
When people hear the word ego, they often associate it with vanity or arrogance.
But in reality, ego is simply our sense of self.
It's how we perceive ourselves and our place in the world.
There's a common misconception that there's such a thing as a "big ego."
The truth is: there are strong egos and weak egos.
A strong ego is one that is self-validated, confident, and self-sufficient.
A weak ego, on the other hand, seeks validation from others and can be either arrogant or humble.
For example, let's say you're at a party, and someone is making negative comment about your outfit.
A person with a weak ego might feel embarrassed or even lash out in anger.
You might say something like, "Well, at least I don't dress like a clown!" in an attempt to make yourself feel better.
Others will freeze and simply feel like shit.
Both have a weak ego, because both live through the eyes of others.
What people say about them matters to them and defines their identity.
This is what a weak ego means.
In contrast, a person with a strong ego might brush off the comment and say something like, "Thanks for the feedback, but I like it."
They are self-validated and confident in their own choices and don't feel the need to seek validation from others.
People think having a strong ego means being an asshole.
That’s not true.
A person who puts others down or belittles them is not confident or self-validated.
They are seeking validation through negative means, which is a sign of a weak ego.
Ego is not the enemy.
It's a natural and necessary part of who we are.
The key is to develop a strong and healthy ego that is self-validated, confident, and self-sufficient.
Don't seek validation from others or put them down to feel better about yourself.
Focus on your own growth and development, and don't let anyone else define your sense of self.
But in reality, ego is simply our sense of self.
It's how we perceive ourselves and our place in the world.
There's a common misconception that there's such a thing as a "big ego."
The truth is: there are strong egos and weak egos.
A strong ego is one that is self-validated, confident, and self-sufficient.
A weak ego, on the other hand, seeks validation from others and can be either arrogant or humble.
For example, let's say you're at a party, and someone is making negative comment about your outfit.
A person with a weak ego might feel embarrassed or even lash out in anger.
You might say something like, "Well, at least I don't dress like a clown!" in an attempt to make yourself feel better.
Others will freeze and simply feel like shit.
Both have a weak ego, because both live through the eyes of others.
What people say about them matters to them and defines their identity.
This is what a weak ego means.
In contrast, a person with a strong ego might brush off the comment and say something like, "Thanks for the feedback, but I like it."
They are self-validated and confident in their own choices and don't feel the need to seek validation from others.
People think having a strong ego means being an asshole.
That’s not true.
A person who puts others down or belittles them is not confident or self-validated.
They are seeking validation through negative means, which is a sign of a weak ego.
Ego is not the enemy.
It's a natural and necessary part of who we are.
The key is to develop a strong and healthy ego that is self-validated, confident, and self-sufficient.
Don't seek validation from others or put them down to feel better about yourself.
Focus on your own growth and development, and don't let anyone else define your sense of self.
❤24🔥14
Never underestimate people's ability to make stupid decisions.
Seriously, it happens more often than you think. Whether it's in relationships, finances, or career choices, people can be prone to making thoughtless choices that affect not only themselves but also those around them.
Now, if you've got some skin in the game and their choices impact you, it's your responsibility to step in.
Warn them, loud and clear. Make it unmistakable. Share your experiences, knowledge, and insights to help them see the potential pitfalls they might be overlooking.
Eliminate any doubt.
You want to avoid giving them any chance to claim you kept them in the dark.
Trust me, you don't want to get to that
Why? Simple. They'll mess it all up, and then, guess who they'll point their finger at? That's right—YOU.
To prevent these blunders from happening, it's essential to recognize the signs.
Are they acting impulsively? Do they have a history of poor decision-making? Are they failing to consider the long-term consequences? If you spot these red flags, it's time to intervene.
And remember, intervention doesn't have to be negative or confrontational. It can be supportive and empowering.
Offer them guidance and resources to help them make better decisions. Encourage them to think critically and analyze the situation from different perspectives.
Share stories of people who've been in similar situations and how they overcame those challenges. Real-life examples can be powerful motivators and can often help others recognize the potential dangers they face.
Make them realize you're on their side and not against them.
Otherwise they'll get defensive.
Don't shy away from asking difficult questions.
As uncomfortable as it can get, that's the only way to have more thoughtful decisions and, ultimately, a better outcome for everyone involved.
Of course, you can't control other people's actions.
But by being proactive and lending a helping hand, you can at least steer them in the right direction. And if they still choose to ignore your advice and make a mistake, at least you'll know you did everything in your power to help.
You can minimize the negative consequences of these missteps and, hopefully, help those around you learn valuable lessons.
Don't just stand there and watch the trainwreck unfold. Waiting for them to fuck it up to blame them for it.
Don't play their game.
Step in and make a difference.
Share your knowledge, offer support, and be the person who helps.
Seriously, it happens more often than you think. Whether it's in relationships, finances, or career choices, people can be prone to making thoughtless choices that affect not only themselves but also those around them.
Now, if you've got some skin in the game and their choices impact you, it's your responsibility to step in.
Warn them, loud and clear. Make it unmistakable. Share your experiences, knowledge, and insights to help them see the potential pitfalls they might be overlooking.
Eliminate any doubt.
You want to avoid giving them any chance to claim you kept them in the dark.
Trust me, you don't want to get to that
Why? Simple. They'll mess it all up, and then, guess who they'll point their finger at? That's right—YOU.
To prevent these blunders from happening, it's essential to recognize the signs.
Are they acting impulsively? Do they have a history of poor decision-making? Are they failing to consider the long-term consequences? If you spot these red flags, it's time to intervene.
And remember, intervention doesn't have to be negative or confrontational. It can be supportive and empowering.
Offer them guidance and resources to help them make better decisions. Encourage them to think critically and analyze the situation from different perspectives.
Share stories of people who've been in similar situations and how they overcame those challenges. Real-life examples can be powerful motivators and can often help others recognize the potential dangers they face.
Make them realize you're on their side and not against them.
Otherwise they'll get defensive.
Don't shy away from asking difficult questions.
As uncomfortable as it can get, that's the only way to have more thoughtful decisions and, ultimately, a better outcome for everyone involved.
Of course, you can't control other people's actions.
But by being proactive and lending a helping hand, you can at least steer them in the right direction. And if they still choose to ignore your advice and make a mistake, at least you'll know you did everything in your power to help.
You can minimize the negative consequences of these missteps and, hopefully, help those around you learn valuable lessons.
Don't just stand there and watch the trainwreck unfold. Waiting for them to fuck it up to blame them for it.
Don't play their game.
Step in and make a difference.
Share your knowledge, offer support, and be the person who helps.
🔥21❤10
We all have our own bullshit - negative habits and behaviors that hold us back. But the first step to changing them is awareness. When we become aware of our negative tendencies, we can start to take action to change them.
One effective way to do this is through negative reinforcement.
Telling yourself a strict "No" when you're about to relapse into an old habit or stopping a negative train of thoughts by loudly saying "No I shouldn't think like that".
The fun part?
Just like we can catch ourselves when we're misbehaving and cut it short, we can also do the same with others.
For example, let's say you have a friend who is always interrupting you when you speak. Instead of letting them continue, you can negatively reinforce this behavior by interrupting them back and letting them know that it's not okay.
Or, let's say you have a colleague who is always late for meetings. You can negatively reinforce this behavior by starting the meeting without them and letting them know that their tardiness is not acceptable.
The key to negative reinforcement is to catch the behavior early and address it immediately. By doing so, you're sending a clear message that the behavior is not acceptable, and you're less likely to see it happen again.
Keep in mind: This is not a substitute for positive reinforcement, which is a more effective long-term strategy for changing behavior.
It's to be used right on the spot.
Positive reinforcement involves rewarding desirable behavior with praise or recognition.
For example, if your friend listens to you without interrupting, you can positively reinforce this behavior by thanking them and letting them know how much you appreciate it.
Conversely, rewarding yourself for what you do well will encourage you to do it more often and repeat it again.
Basic Pavlov conditioning.
That's how we all operate.
When I tell you that once you understand yourself, your social skills skyrocket, this is what I mean. We're all humans and we operate in very similar ways.
Understand yourself and the world will make sense.
It becomes so much easier to deal with others when you learn how to deal with your own crap.
One effective way to do this is through negative reinforcement.
Telling yourself a strict "No" when you're about to relapse into an old habit or stopping a negative train of thoughts by loudly saying "No I shouldn't think like that".
The fun part?
Just like we can catch ourselves when we're misbehaving and cut it short, we can also do the same with others.
For example, let's say you have a friend who is always interrupting you when you speak. Instead of letting them continue, you can negatively reinforce this behavior by interrupting them back and letting them know that it's not okay.
Or, let's say you have a colleague who is always late for meetings. You can negatively reinforce this behavior by starting the meeting without them and letting them know that their tardiness is not acceptable.
The key to negative reinforcement is to catch the behavior early and address it immediately. By doing so, you're sending a clear message that the behavior is not acceptable, and you're less likely to see it happen again.
Keep in mind: This is not a substitute for positive reinforcement, which is a more effective long-term strategy for changing behavior.
It's to be used right on the spot.
Positive reinforcement involves rewarding desirable behavior with praise or recognition.
For example, if your friend listens to you without interrupting, you can positively reinforce this behavior by thanking them and letting them know how much you appreciate it.
Conversely, rewarding yourself for what you do well will encourage you to do it more often and repeat it again.
Basic Pavlov conditioning.
That's how we all operate.
When I tell you that once you understand yourself, your social skills skyrocket, this is what I mean. We're all humans and we operate in very similar ways.
Understand yourself and the world will make sense.
It becomes so much easier to deal with others when you learn how to deal with your own crap.
❤19🔥14
Once you decide to cut ties with someone, don't look back.
Don't give a second chance, don't second guess yourself.
Move on and turn the page.
Remove them from your existence.
You disrespect yourself any time you open your door to someone who's repeatedly crossed the line with you.
There are boundaries that should not be crossed.
If you set them clearly and effectively yet find people crossing them, it simply means they have no respect for you.
Your duty was to let them know where you draw the line.
Their duty was to respect that.
If they don't, you HAVE to walk away.
It's not just "okay" to do so.
It is necessary.
Understand this:
Most people are replaceable and most people are temporary.
When their date expires, it's time to throw them out and get a new entourage.
Not everyone is supposed to stay forever.
Make peace with this fact and stop giving second chances to people who don't deserve them.
Don't give a second chance, don't second guess yourself.
Move on and turn the page.
Remove them from your existence.
You disrespect yourself any time you open your door to someone who's repeatedly crossed the line with you.
There are boundaries that should not be crossed.
If you set them clearly and effectively yet find people crossing them, it simply means they have no respect for you.
Your duty was to let them know where you draw the line.
Their duty was to respect that.
If they don't, you HAVE to walk away.
It's not just "okay" to do so.
It is necessary.
Understand this:
Most people are replaceable and most people are temporary.
When their date expires, it's time to throw them out and get a new entourage.
Not everyone is supposed to stay forever.
Make peace with this fact and stop giving second chances to people who don't deserve them.
❤34🔥20
Grand Rising:
We'll be on a Twitter space today for anyone who wants to chime in
https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1651527622105477122
We'll be on a Twitter space today for anyone who wants to chime in
https://twitter.com/EgoDriv/status/1651527622105477122
Twitter
RT @_gardenofwords_: Come chop it up with us as we talk about:
🔹Introverts/extroverts
🔹Thinking on your feet
🔹Overcoming social anxiety
🔹H…
🔹Introverts/extroverts
🔹Thinking on your feet
🔹Overcoming social anxiety
🔹H…
🔥5
You need mentors not role models.
You need people who will show you the way.
Not people you copy.
Mentors can help you avoid mistakes, identify opportunities, and provide a sounding board for your ideas and plans.
They can share their own successes and failures, and help you develop the skills and mindset needed to achieve your goals.
The key difference between a role model and a mentor is that a role model is someone you simply admire and want to copy, whereas a mentor is someone who actively supports and guides you towards your goals.
When you try to copy a role model, you WILL end up feeling like a fraud.
You'll never be as good as them at being them.
Common fucking sense.
The worst part?
You'll miss out on the unique talents and strengths that make you who you are.
But with a mentor, you can learn from their experiences and apply those lessons to your own life and goals.
You can carve your own way, while still benefiting from the guidance and support of someone who has been there before.
Of course, mistakes are still inevitable.
You will make your own mistakes, and that's okay.
In fact, it's a necessary part of the learning process.
But with the help of a qualified mentor, you can minimize those mistakes and fast-track your progress towards success.
Now the question is:
How can you find a mentor?
They say:
"When the Student Is Ready, the Teacher Will Appear"
Sounds vague but bears a lot of implications.
The answer is that you need to get started on your own and make as many connections as possible.
There won't be ONE person that shows you everything.
It is YOUR duty to develop the ability to connect with people and learn from them.
When you're in the trenches, you can learn from everyone.
Whether it is how to do it or how not to do it.
But again, the most important part is to actually get started and become eager to improve in that area you picked.
More often than not, people will come to you and offer advice.
Because they will genuinely appreciate your passion and dedication.
For you to find mentors, you must first be worthy of them.
Work on your competence.
You need people who will show you the way.
Not people you copy.
Mentors can help you avoid mistakes, identify opportunities, and provide a sounding board for your ideas and plans.
They can share their own successes and failures, and help you develop the skills and mindset needed to achieve your goals.
The key difference between a role model and a mentor is that a role model is someone you simply admire and want to copy, whereas a mentor is someone who actively supports and guides you towards your goals.
When you try to copy a role model, you WILL end up feeling like a fraud.
You'll never be as good as them at being them.
Common fucking sense.
The worst part?
You'll miss out on the unique talents and strengths that make you who you are.
But with a mentor, you can learn from their experiences and apply those lessons to your own life and goals.
You can carve your own way, while still benefiting from the guidance and support of someone who has been there before.
Of course, mistakes are still inevitable.
You will make your own mistakes, and that's okay.
In fact, it's a necessary part of the learning process.
But with the help of a qualified mentor, you can minimize those mistakes and fast-track your progress towards success.
Now the question is:
How can you find a mentor?
They say:
"When the Student Is Ready, the Teacher Will Appear"
Sounds vague but bears a lot of implications.
The answer is that you need to get started on your own and make as many connections as possible.
There won't be ONE person that shows you everything.
It is YOUR duty to develop the ability to connect with people and learn from them.
When you're in the trenches, you can learn from everyone.
Whether it is how to do it or how not to do it.
But again, the most important part is to actually get started and become eager to improve in that area you picked.
More often than not, people will come to you and offer advice.
Because they will genuinely appreciate your passion and dedication.
For you to find mentors, you must first be worthy of them.
Work on your competence.
🔥30❤13
How to organize a Rebellion:
This is going to be a fun one lol
In my teenage years, one of my favorite activity was to join Facebook groups and simply make sure to destroy them.
I had my own football groups on Facebook and I wanted to make of it the ONE reference group in the niche.
My plan? Destroy the other groups so only mine exists.
I was young and spineless.
I don't recommend doing what I'm about to say unless you have good reasons to.
I would join a group, post in it regularly in order to become a valued member.
Once that status achieved, I would befriend moderators and start creating internal beef in the group between members.
All while keeping my hands clean.
They were fighting, I was just observing (for now).
I'd report the fight to the admin and moderators.
And once they took action to solve it; I'd do one of two things:
- If they banned the members fighting, I'd start complaining about injustice and tyranny within the group.
- If they didn't ban the members, I'd start complaining about how the group was poorly ran.
Both cases, people will side with you.
En masse.
All you have left to do is invite them to a "new" and "better" group.
My group.
Believe it or not, this worked in more than 20 groups in the span of 3 months.
In short:
- Make a place for yourself within the group
- Start drama
- Complain how it was handled
- Offer a new solution
- Get banned from the group
- Get hundreds of new members on my group
It's ridiculous how doing this got me over 5000 members from many groups around.
BUT, this is the important part:
If you ever do this, know that people will try to take revenge.
My group was eventually banned by Facebook because "my victims" reported it en masse.
But hey! It was a fun experience.
This is going to be a fun one lol
In my teenage years, one of my favorite activity was to join Facebook groups and simply make sure to destroy them.
I had my own football groups on Facebook and I wanted to make of it the ONE reference group in the niche.
My plan? Destroy the other groups so only mine exists.
I was young and spineless.
I don't recommend doing what I'm about to say unless you have good reasons to.
I would join a group, post in it regularly in order to become a valued member.
Once that status achieved, I would befriend moderators and start creating internal beef in the group between members.
All while keeping my hands clean.
They were fighting, I was just observing (for now).
I'd report the fight to the admin and moderators.
And once they took action to solve it; I'd do one of two things:
- If they banned the members fighting, I'd start complaining about injustice and tyranny within the group.
- If they didn't ban the members, I'd start complaining about how the group was poorly ran.
Both cases, people will side with you.
En masse.
All you have left to do is invite them to a "new" and "better" group.
My group.
Believe it or not, this worked in more than 20 groups in the span of 3 months.
In short:
- Make a place for yourself within the group
- Start drama
- Complain how it was handled
- Offer a new solution
- Get banned from the group
- Get hundreds of new members on my group
It's ridiculous how doing this got me over 5000 members from many groups around.
BUT, this is the important part:
If you ever do this, know that people will try to take revenge.
My group was eventually banned by Facebook because "my victims" reported it en masse.
But hey! It was a fun experience.
🔥32❤1🤯1
Never bring your ego down to your low level of competence.
Increase your level of competence to match your ego.
You gotta get that ego hurt as much as possible for it to be real.
You have to challenge your own self-image and let it prove its worth.
Take the L as a reason to get better and live up to your own expectations.
Don't take it as a threat to your self-image.
A strong ego looks forward to adversity.
A weak ego shies away from it.
You have to see your failures as extra motivation to increase your competence to match your ego.
You don't bring your ego down to match your low level of competence.
This should be common sense.
You should work to live up to your self-image not take it for granted.
Our self-image is what helps us keep going.
If you accept your low level of competence, you will put yourself in a box of limiting beliefs that is hard to break out of.
But if instead...
You accept your ego as the real version of you:
Then you accept that you have work to do to live up to the idea you hold of yourself.
The ego is not the enemy.
But refusing to accept that we have work to do to match those expectations make it seem so.
Because most people would either give up or blame their shortcomings on others.
Both are weak egos that avoid taking responsibility.
Having a strong ego does not mean being arrogant.
It means you're aware that you are the only one responsible for yourself.
And that any failure is a sign that there is work to do.
Your ego has to be hurt.
You have to accept that it needs to be challenged and that the only way to get over it is by objectively increasing your competence level.
Again:
Never bring your ego down to your low level of competence.
Increase your level of competence to match your ego.
Increase your level of competence to match your ego.
You gotta get that ego hurt as much as possible for it to be real.
You have to challenge your own self-image and let it prove its worth.
Take the L as a reason to get better and live up to your own expectations.
Don't take it as a threat to your self-image.
A strong ego looks forward to adversity.
A weak ego shies away from it.
You have to see your failures as extra motivation to increase your competence to match your ego.
You don't bring your ego down to match your low level of competence.
This should be common sense.
You should work to live up to your self-image not take it for granted.
Our self-image is what helps us keep going.
If you accept your low level of competence, you will put yourself in a box of limiting beliefs that is hard to break out of.
But if instead...
You accept your ego as the real version of you:
Then you accept that you have work to do to live up to the idea you hold of yourself.
The ego is not the enemy.
But refusing to accept that we have work to do to match those expectations make it seem so.
Because most people would either give up or blame their shortcomings on others.
Both are weak egos that avoid taking responsibility.
Having a strong ego does not mean being arrogant.
It means you're aware that you are the only one responsible for yourself.
And that any failure is a sign that there is work to do.
Your ego has to be hurt.
You have to accept that it needs to be challenged and that the only way to get over it is by objectively increasing your competence level.
Again:
Never bring your ego down to your low level of competence.
Increase your level of competence to match your ego.
🔥29❤4