Yo mama so old that her birth certificate says expired.

#yomama

Yo mama so old her breast milk is powdered

#yomama

Yo mama so short when she smokes weed she don't get high

#yomama

Yo mama so fat when she died the angel refused to take her

#yomama

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to her bed room to see how long she slept

#yomama

Yo mama so poor she can't even pay attention.

#yomama

Yo mama’s so stupid when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting “Wait, you forgot the remote!”

#yomama

yo mama Is so old, when I told her to act her age she actually died

#yomama

Yo Mama so stupid she watches the couch and sits in the TV.

#yomama

I exhale my name, then you absorb my soul every time that you breathe in...

Glock Six- 6lack

I wonder how many people don't get the one they want, but end up with the one they're supposed to be with.

People that aren’t used to quality always chase quantity.

I joined a gym and said to the trainer, “I want to impress beautiful girls, which machine should I use?”

He said, “Try the ATM outside”

Capitalization can really change a sentence.

Example:

I love to eat candy.

I love to eat capitalization.

What did the letter O say to the letter Q?


"For God's sake man, put some pants on!"

Confucius says...

It is good to meet girl in park
but BETTER to park meat in girl

Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares..

But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler.

I saw a lizard

and it became a spotted lizard

What's the best part about dating a black girl?

You don't have to meet her father.

I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand everything is fine.

Since cell phones are all going waterproof, pretty soon we’ll be able to push people off of boats again.