What's the best part about dating a black girl?
You don't have to meet her father.
You don't have to meet her father.
I broke my finger last week.
On the other hand everything is fine.
On the other hand everything is fine.
Since cell phones are all going waterproof, pretty soon we’ll be able to push people off of boats again.
The most beautiful paintings are the ones that look real, and the most beautiful moments in nature are the ones that look like a painting
John Cena wakes up ...
John Cena wakes up in a hospital
John Cena: Where am I?
Nurse: ICU
John Cena: No you can't.
John Cena wakes up in a hospital
John Cena: Where am I?
Nurse: ICU
John Cena: No you can't.
A 5 second unskippable ad feels longer than 5 seconds to skip a 30 seconds long ad
I can remember song lyrics to a song from 2003
But I can't remember why I walked in the kitchen
But I can't remember why I walked in the kitchen
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, a cow says mooooo!
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No, a cow says mooooo!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Yahoo! I’m just as psyched to see you!
Who’s there?
Ya.
Ya who?
Yahoo! I’m just as psyched to see you!
You can’t force nobody to see that you’re a blessing , you just gotta let them miss out.
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...in every farewell; a hidden hope always comes.
Paulo Coelho.
Paulo Coelho.
"How do you get so many girls into bed with you?"
"Easy, I just do what Arnold Schwarzenegger does."
"What, work out all day and look like a Greek God?"
"No, I pull out a shotgun and say 'Come with me if you want to live.'
"Easy, I just do what Arnold Schwarzenegger does."
"What, work out all day and look like a Greek God?"
"No, I pull out a shotgun and say 'Come with me if you want to live.'
My friend texted me yesterday telling to meet him at half six.
Well I turned up at three and he was three and a half hours late.
Well I turned up at three and he was three and a half hours late.