Dirty hands with dirty fingernails is less disgusting then clean hands with dirty fingernails.

We should stop teaching kids to sing the alphabet. It took me five years to realize that "elemeno" wasn't a letter.

Me and my siblings don’t apologize, we just find a way to talk again.

Someone out there has taken the biggest shit in the world without knowing it

Fart when people hug you. Makes them feel strong.

Today, you forgot something that you will never ever remember again.

5 sometimes feels more like an even number than 6

Maybe I just don't deserve to be loved.

Sorry I didn't text you back. I was pretending I didn't see it and I ended up actually forgetting.

Sometimes one becomes bad without wanting to

Being pregnant, you technically have two hearts inside of you. This makes you a time lord.