Don't depress my depression

If you find someone with the exact same shoes as you, you've found your sole mate

As a kid, you hate naps but adults make you. As an adult, you'd love to take a nap but no one will let you.

Knowing how fast your car can go from 60-0 is so much more important than know how fast it can go from 0-60.

- Chat sorting and grouping in Telegram.
- Separate tab for Unread messages.
- Neurobots chat-assistants.
- Telegram channel lists.

These features are available in the new alternative iMe Messenger client as well as regular Telegram features.

Download iMe Messenger from App Store and Google Play or https://imem.app/dl and use Telegram in a fresh new way.

Enjoy it F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Gravity could have been discovered way before if Newton paid attention while peeing.

People ask you what you do for a living to calculate the amount of respect to give you.

Videos games are childish, but going out to the bar with friends and slowly destroying your liver is a sign of maturity

If others are jealous, you are doing something right.

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.

Be the type of man you’d want your daughter to date.

Change is hard at the beginning, messy in the middle, gorgeous at the end.

If you want to make everyone happy don't be a leader,

Sell ice cream

ጣዕሙ ደስ ይለኛል ለኔ ኮካኮላ
ሁለቱን ስጨርስ እጠጣለሁ ሌላ

girls be like "he's my world", but this is your 4th "world" in 2 months, are you building a solar system?

"You are dumb"

Me: No I'm not, you take that back

Also me: wed-nes-day

"Did you cum?" Yeah to my senses, pass me my wig I'm leaving

The robot dance won't make sense in the future when robot movement becomes as fluid as a human.

I'll never forget my Granddad's last words to me just before he died...
"Are you still holding the ladder?"

there’s a toilet somewhere in the world that has the record for most shits taken in it and no one knows which one it is.