5 years old: does dinosaurs exist?

Me:* trying to comfort him* yes they do

5 years old: what’s their favorite underwear?

Me: uhmmm *ᵒʰ ᶠ𝚞ᶜᵏ

@deepthoughts2

We use "money doesn't grow on trees" to imply that there wouldn't be a shortage of wealth if money did grow on trees, but food grows on trees and we still have world hunger.

@deepthoughts2

Sometimes when you have too much attention, it changes you to the point where you can’t see or know what's going on inside you. You become slave to what is outside or what people around you tells you. That can change anyone.

@deepthoughts2

Fuck nudes, let me see you & your bestfriend texts

@deepthoughts2

Whats worse
◀️laundary or Dishes▶️

◀️Boobs or ass▶️

I just cannot believe I have to be an adult for the rest of my life

@deepthoughts2

Telling someone you treat them like a god is a lot better than telling them you only talk to them when you need something.

@deepthoughts2

Who tf came up with "Eg." as an abbreviation for "example"??

@deepthoughts2

A wise man once said the bigger the forehead the better the head.

@deepthoughts2

Doctor: Ok what's wrong, how are you feeling?
Me: looks at mom waiting for her to explain

@deepthoughts2

Things I haven't learned in school. How to:
Pay bills💸
Buy a house🏠
Apply for college🏫

But thank god I can graph a polynomial function😏

@deepthoughts2

Story of modern love

Two people,both waiting to text first.

@deepthoughts2

When you're single, you even find it useless to buy airtime.

@deepthoughts2

We were all good at maths up to the time they started adding alphabets to equations

@deepthoughts2

The higher the level in a building, the more clean the stairs get.

@deepthoughts2

Girls which u go for
◀️Lips or beard▶️

What do you call a caring prostitute?

Someone who gives a fuck

@deepthoughts2

Trying to find a hobby is your hobby until you find a hobby.

@deepthoughts2

Don't call me crazy, I much prefer the term 'mentally hilarious'

@deepthoughts2

Listening is skill.

@deepthoughts2