I remember when in the good old days the hardest thing about having a baby was choosing a name.

Nowadays, it's choosing a gender.

@deepthoughts2

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
― Lou Holtz
@deepthoughts2

Be my baby....I'll look after you!

@deepthoughts2

God's not too slow
We are too impatient

@deepthoughts2

A homeless person could commit a serious crime and most likely be given a better quality of life than when they were on the street.

@deepthoughts2

Wife: *showing off her dresses* which one is better?
Me: you dont mind if i say anything
Wife: yea
Me: i fucked your sister

@deepthoughts2

If you can't convince them

Confuse them.

@deepthoughts2

Me:* gets out of the shower feeling fresh*
mom: ምንድነው በ አመድ ነዉ እንዴ የታጠብከዉ??

@deepthoughts2

Your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor.

@deepthoughts2

Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin. 😜😜

@deepthoughts2

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues. 😁😁😁

@deepthoughts2

Till pride do us Apart

@deepthoughts2

Learn the nigga before you love the nigga❗️
@deepthoughts2

The spiritual life is first of all a life. It is not merely something to be known and studied, it is to be lived. -Thoughts in Solitude.

@deepthoughts2

I know about you more than you do.

@deepthoughts2

"There ain't no justice ,
It's Just Us".
-DC Young Fly

@deepthoughts2

Two reasons why you can't argue with your girlfriend

1. She will win anyway
2. You don't have a girlfriend

@deepthoughts2

you think ignoring me would hurt me anymore? I've been ignored by my own brains during tests & exams & I still didn't die so imma live on ✊

@deepthoughts2

I love everything you hate about yourself

@deepthoughts2

My therapist told me " write letters to the people you hate and then burn them". Did that, but now i dont know....what to do with the letters

@deepthoughts2

I desperately needed a massive shit on the train today but there were no toilets in sight and none onboard so I just sat there and held it for about 20 minutes.


The woman sitting opposite looked at me in disgust and said, "Is that a poo in your hand?"

@deepthoughts2