7th grade:

can i borrow ur pencil?

-sure

*erases using the rubber at the back of the pencil

-doNT Rub WItH wiTH THaT, ILL gIve U a rUBBer

@deepthoughts2

“So how’s school going?” Is adult code for “no idea how to communicate with young people on their terms but feel obligated to include them in conversation anyway."

@deepthoughts2

92% people type things into ”Google” to see if they spelled them correctly.


@deepthoughts2

Nobody:
Me: feel how cold my hands are

@deepthoughts2

How does the the human brain ignore the second the?

@deepthoughts2

The saying, "You can't judge a book by its cover" is a slap in the face to graphic designers.

@deepthoughts2

I remember when in the good old days the hardest thing about having a baby was choosing a name.

Nowadays, it's choosing a gender.

@deepthoughts2

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it.
― Lou Holtz
@deepthoughts2

Be my baby....I'll look after you!

@deepthoughts2

God's not too slow
We are too impatient

@deepthoughts2

A homeless person could commit a serious crime and most likely be given a better quality of life than when they were on the street.

@deepthoughts2

Wife: *showing off her dresses* which one is better?
Me: you dont mind if i say anything
Wife: yea
Me: i fucked your sister

@deepthoughts2

If you can't convince them

Confuse them.

@deepthoughts2

Me:* gets out of the shower feeling fresh*
mom: ምንድነው በ አመድ ነዉ እንዴ የታጠብከዉ??

@deepthoughts2

Your clothes would look nice on my bedroom floor.

@deepthoughts2

Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin. 😜😜

@deepthoughts2

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues. 😁😁😁

@deepthoughts2

Till pride do us Apart

@deepthoughts2

Learn the nigga before you love the nigga❗️
@deepthoughts2

The spiritual life is first of all a life. It is not merely something to be known and studied, it is to be lived. -Thoughts in Solitude.

@deepthoughts2

I know about you more than you do.

@deepthoughts2