Friend: wanna hear a joke?
Me: sure
Friend: job
Me: I didn't get it
Friend: exactly

@deepthoughts2

No one pays you more attention than that friend waiting for a half cigarette

@deepthoughts2

Welcome to telegram where people date and breakup without meeting

@deepthoughts2

If I fall asleep texting you, it’s because I didn’t want to say goodbye. ☺️☺️

@deepthoughts2

Someone is going through your pics telling their friends you don't even look that nice in person

@deepthoughts2

He blocked me, I called him and begged him to unblock me. He unblocked me, now I blocked him. EGO satisfied

@deepthoughts2

women are all like “i'm mad that you're mad that i'm mad”

@deepthoughts2

I don't beg. Even when my nose is blocked, I breath with my mouth

@deepthoughts2

That awkward moment when someone's voice doesn't match their appearance

@deepthoughts2

My doctor friend said .. A patient cured is a customer lost...
Now am scared for real

@deepthoughts2

I've been wondering why we have a lot of birthdays this November. Then I remember that you are all products of valentine's day

@deepthoughts2

If you dislike someone, dislike them alone. Don't recruit others to join your case

@deepthoughts2

What if life is the dream and when we die, we wake up 🤔🤔

@deepthoughts2

ሰአት ስንት ነው?

-25 ጉዳይ

Me:

The person:

Me:

The person:

*still holding eye contact

Me:

The person:

Me: ለስንት godammit!!

@deepthoughts2

The beauty industry

For men: this can be used as shampoo, body wash, lotion, face wash,toothpaste, mouthwash

For her: we've specially formulated this moisturizer for your left elbow

@deepthoughts2

The closest I get to spa day is when the steam from boiling tea smacks me in the face.

@deepthoughts2

Can we have a moment of silence for all those good hair days where no one important saw you.

@deepthoughts2

Homeless people are not the problem. They are the result of the problem

@deepthoughts2

Funny about getting older, your eyesight may weaken yet you can see through people much better

@deepthoughts2

Once you hit a certain age, you become permanently unimpressed by a lot of stuff

@deepthoughts2

Sometimes you have to piss people off and sit back to watch their true colors unfold

@deepthoughts2