“Dad, I’m so excited. I got a B in reading!”

Dad: That’s a D, idiot.

@deepthoughts2

Date a girl that would always respect your wife

@deepthoughts2

That empty space in your bed is better than having wrong person next to you

@deepthoughts2

I pray you heal from things no one ever apologized for

@deepthoughts2

If Adam and Eve had argument, it would've been a World War.

@deepthoughts2

A boob, a vagina and an asshole are debating as to who is the greatest of them all.

Boob: I give milk to new born babies and I’m attractive to the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest.

Vagina: I give birth to babies and I accommodate the opposite sex, that’s why I’m the greatest.

Now it's your turn to speak.

@deepthoughts2

I know you are excited to see me
but the yelling is a bit excessive.

@deepthoughts2

Do something amazing.

Adults are probably spanked more often than children nowadays.

@deepthoughts2

Home is where you trust the toilet sit

@deepthoughts2

You can have a nice English name but your sur name will drag you back to Africa

@deepthoughts2

No one is more mad to see you grow than the person you left behind.

@deepthoughts2

crying without tears.

FACT: There aint no naked እብድ on the streets wiz a small dick.

@deepthoughts2

That awkward moment when you're in super deep thought, then 3 minutes later you realize you're staring directly at someone

@deepthoughts2

An angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour. But it'll take her a week to pack for three days vacation

@deepthoughts2

Ethiopians with iPhone act like they don't have pocket or handbags when walking around the streets

@deepthoughts2