You getting mad
I'm getting rich.

@deepthoughts2

"I'll see you in court" is the grownup version of I'm telling mom

@deepthoughts2

Y'all talk about ghosting, let's talk about jobs you apply for and never get denied or accepted

@deepthoughts2

Being a music lover with a terrible voice is the saddest part of my life

@deepthoughts2

Can someone please teach me how to save money? I'll pay you

@deepthoughts2

You are somebody's reason to masturbate.

@deepthoughts2

I sell mirrors in the city of the blind

@deepthoughts2

There is a point in childhood where you stop getting praised for long sleeps, and start getting chastised for them.

@deepthoughts2

Advertising is how rich people beg.

@deepthoughts2

*Movie turns out great

Producers: Why don't we make another part and ruin it

@deepthoughts2

After break up

Girls: *likes sad quotes on IG

Boys: *Starts following random girls and likes booty pics

@deepthoughts2

If you pay me I'll show up to ur funeral but stand really far away hold a black umbrella regardless the weather, so that people think you died with dark and interesting secret.

@deepthoughts2

If you haven't found your Eve or Adam by now, then you are probably the snake

@deepthoughts2

Effort is important but knowing where to make an effort is important

@deepthoughts2

Why don't you delete the music you always skip on the phone.

@deepthoughts2