If you pay me I'll show up to ur funeral but stand really far away hold a black umbrella regardless the weather, so that people think you died with dark and interesting secret.

@deepthoughts2

If you haven't found your Eve or Adam by now, then you are probably the snake

@deepthoughts2

Effort is important but knowing where to make an effort is important

@deepthoughts2

Why don't you delete the music you always skip on the phone.

@deepthoughts2

During sex, men are concentrating on holding off orgasm while women are focusing on achieving it.

@deepthoughts2

Send us your thoughts and feedback at @deepthoughts2Bot

I was feeling lonely so I bought some shares

It's nice to have some company

@deepthoughts2

Ya'll stop saying "ማነዉ" when someone knocking on door knowing that he gonna say "እኔ ነኝ".

@deepthoughts2

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don’t let someone get comfortable disrespecting you.

shut it down.

@deepthoughts2

*1st night

Wife: Please, not today. Let's celebrate our honeymoon only after we understand each other.
Husband: My 'under' is already 'standing' for you!

@deepthoughts2

If you’re not dating to marry,then you’re dating for heartbreak. Let that sink in.

@deepthoughts2

Stay hydrated.

@deepthoughts2

If I Say I Will Never Leave
I Mean It, I Will End Up With You.

@deepthoughts2

People with cracked phone screens are gonna be billionaires in future.. Amen

@deepthoughts2

Never think, you're the second option in someone's life. You're probably the fifth or sixth or maybe not an option at all

@deepthoughts2

Young Jesus: mom where do babies come from?


Joseph: [pulls up a chair] yea Mary, where DO babies come from?

@deepthoughts2