This morning I was beat up by a woman in an elevator.

I was staring at her tits, and she said, "Could you please press one." So I did.

@deepthoughts2

A magician that explains how magic tricks are done is more interesting than a magician doing regular magic tricks.

@deepthoughts2

Be a nice human.

Usain Bolt's professional running career probably totaled less than an hour.

@deepthoughts2

Day 234 with out sex the ፊደል "ወ" looking really good.

@deepthoughts2

Quick replies from the wrong person is headache


@deepthoughts2

Millions of women all over the world are waking up pregnant this morning.

@deepthoughts2

The quote "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger", stops making sense after the age of 50.

@deepthoughts2

Different doesn't mean wrong.

@deepthoughts2

why tf niggas think rapping is da only way out bitch we need some plumbers & shit out here

@deepthoughts2

Too many people getting older but not many growing up

@deepthoughts2

We're all a broken, in our own ways - In places no one might see.

@deepthoughts2

Scars are tattoos with better stories.

@deepthoughts2

Your comfort zone will kill you.

@deepthoughts2

I couldn't get in to see a doctor,

So I went to the airport, mentioned Al Queda, and got a free x-ray, breast exam and colonoscopy.

@deepthoughts2

Pleasure is a false god.

@deepthoughts2

Everyone told sam not to sing.
But samsung anyway

@deepthoughts2

It's highly probable that someone has your dream job and absolutely despises it.

@deepthoughts2

Having a toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how much you know and don’t know about things.

@deepthoughts2