"Also...doing weird sex?"
"Obviously."

"Extra recess? Why do you need recess? When are you ever going to use your recess skills in your adult life?"

Philosophy drinking game: drink any time you believe you should drink, but you don't know it.

Seriously though, word of advice to teenagers: not caring about anything is about to become extremely lame.

It turns existential despair is actually pretty mild, all things considered.

To be fair philosophers are always wrong. It's just that everyone else is usually even more wrong so it evens out.

Western civilization has been a struggle between its two founding myths, Socrates (gay, horny, seek truth yourself) and Jesus (straight, not horny, believe what you are told).