💎Modesty (الحياء) starts from young
We often see in women’s gatherings girls and young girls, around the age of seven years, wearing short or tight clothes, or strange haircuts, or haircuts for small girls that look like haircuts for boys. If we speak to the mothers and try to advise them, they argue that the children are still small. We hope that you can give us clear advice about children’s clothing and haircuts, may Allah bless you.
Sheikh Al-‘Uthaymīn raḥimahullāh answered:
It is well known that the individual is influenced by things in his childhood and will continue to be affected by them after he grows up. Hence the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined us to instruct our children to pray when they are seven years old, and to smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they reach the age of ten, so that they will get used to it, as the child will follow that which he is used to. If a young girl gets used to wearing short clothes that only come to the knee, and short sleeves that only come to the elbow or shoulder, she will lose all modesty and will want to wear these clothes after she grows up. The same applies with regard to hair; a woman should have a hairstyle that is different from that of men; if she makes the hair like a man’s hair, she will be resembling men and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed women who resemble men.
It should be noted that the family is responsible for these children and their upbringing and education, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock.” So beware of being heedless; the father should be serious about the upbringing of his sons and daughters, and he should care for them, so that Allah will guide them and they will become a delight to him.
[Source: Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri, 66/10]
We often see in women’s gatherings girls and young girls, around the age of seven years, wearing short or tight clothes, or strange haircuts, or haircuts for small girls that look like haircuts for boys. If we speak to the mothers and try to advise them, they argue that the children are still small. We hope that you can give us clear advice about children’s clothing and haircuts, may Allah bless you.
Sheikh Al-‘Uthaymīn raḥimahullāh answered:
It is well known that the individual is influenced by things in his childhood and will continue to be affected by them after he grows up. Hence the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined us to instruct our children to pray when they are seven years old, and to smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when they reach the age of ten, so that they will get used to it, as the child will follow that which he is used to. If a young girl gets used to wearing short clothes that only come to the knee, and short sleeves that only come to the elbow or shoulder, she will lose all modesty and will want to wear these clothes after she grows up. The same applies with regard to hair; a woman should have a hairstyle that is different from that of men; if she makes the hair like a man’s hair, she will be resembling men and the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed women who resemble men.
It should be noted that the family is responsible for these children and their upbringing and education, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock.” So beware of being heedless; the father should be serious about the upbringing of his sons and daughters, and he should care for them, so that Allah will guide them and they will become a delight to him.
[Source: Al-Liqa’ al-Shahri, 66/10]
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The obligation for children to spend on their poor parents
If a person’s parents are poor and have no means of supporting themselves, it is Fardh (obligatory) for the son to support them if he has the means. He will be sinful if he fails to support them.
[Shaami Vol.5 Pg.315]
If a person’s parents are poor and have no means of supporting themselves, it is Fardh (obligatory) for the son to support them if he has the means. He will be sinful if he fails to support them.
[Shaami Vol.5 Pg.315]
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When I hear that someone has sued his parent to court, I only imagine how misguided and destroyed he is to be following the western culture. What on earth will warrant you such a cruel mindset? You and your property belong to your father. There's no room for any form of disrespect towards your parent on anything lawful they instruct you to do it. Subhan Allah, some are afraid to introduce their parents in public because they're too old; don't worry your own children will do worse than that to you! Honor, respect and treat your parent with kindness and mercy!
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📌Let’s not underestimate the father’s role in providing, teaching and nurturing his children. Regardless of personal circumstances such as divorce or polygamous arrangements.
A father's absence can have significant negative impacts on children, families, and the society.
It is therefore, crucial for father’s to engage actively and meaningfully in children's lives from the start.
A father's absence can have significant negative impacts on children, families, and the society.
It is therefore, crucial for father’s to engage actively and meaningfully in children's lives from the start.
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_Be A Righteous Father_
Abdullah ibn Masud رضي الله عنه used to pray at night and would see his small child sleeping then he would say,
"this is for your bright future" and whilst crying would recite
وكان أبوهما صالحًا
"And their father was a righteous man"
(Al-Kahf:82)
Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه said: "They were protected by the righteousness of their father."
Saed ibn Musayb said: "I pray, then when I remember my child, I increase in my prayers"
Abdullah ibn Masud رضي الله عنه used to pray at night and would see his small child sleeping then he would say,
"this is for your bright future" and whilst crying would recite
وكان أبوهما صالحًا
"And their father was a righteous man"
(Al-Kahf:82)
Ibn Abbas رضي الله عنه said: "They were protected by the righteousness of their father."
Saed ibn Musayb said: "I pray, then when I remember my child, I increase in my prayers"
📔 (Tafsir Al-Baghawi Vol-5 Pg 196)
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📌Discipline starts from young
“The best of discipline is that which is done at a young age. If a child is left to his own characteristics and he or she matures into an adult possessing those characteristics, changing the person would be difficūlt.
A poet said:
ﺇﻥَّ اﻟﻐُﺼُﻮﻥ ﺇﺫا ﻗَﻮَّﻣﺘﻬﺎ اﻋﺘَﺪﻟَﺖ *
ﻭﻻ ﻳَﻠِﻴﻦ ﻗَﻮﻣﺘَﻪ اﻟﺨﺸﺐُ
If you straighten the branches they will straighten up
But wood does not soften if you amend it.
ﻗﺪ ﻳَﻨﻔﻊُ اﻷﺩَﺏُ اﻟﺼَّﻐﻴﺮ ﻓﻲ ﻣُﻬﻞٍ *
ﻭﻟﻴﺲَ ﻳَﻨﻔﻊُ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻯ اﻟﺸَّﻴﺒﺔ اﻷﺩَﺏُ
Discipline benefits Childrēn gradually
But it will not benefit those who have aged.
Being perseverant in discipline is important, particularly with regard to children, as it benefits them and doing good becomes a habit.
A poet said:
ﻻ ﺗَﺴﻪَ ﻋﻦ ﺃﺩﺏ الصغيـ * رِ ﻭﺇﻥ ﺷَﻜﻰ ﺃﻟَﻢَ اﻟﺘََّﻌﺐ
Do not neglect disciplining a Child
Even if he complains of the pain of exhaustion.
Know that a doctor considers the age of the patient, as well as his place and time before prescribing the medicine best suited for him.
Likewise, discipline should be suited to each child, and signs of the success or failure of a child can be noticed from a very early age.”
Excerpt from 'Disciplining the Soul' by Imam Ibn Jawzi (d. 597H)
“The best of discipline is that which is done at a young age. If a child is left to his own characteristics and he or she matures into an adult possessing those characteristics, changing the person would be difficūlt.
A poet said:
ﺇﻥَّ اﻟﻐُﺼُﻮﻥ ﺇﺫا ﻗَﻮَّﻣﺘﻬﺎ اﻋﺘَﺪﻟَﺖ *
ﻭﻻ ﻳَﻠِﻴﻦ ﻗَﻮﻣﺘَﻪ اﻟﺨﺸﺐُ
If you straighten the branches they will straighten up
But wood does not soften if you amend it.
ﻗﺪ ﻳَﻨﻔﻊُ اﻷﺩَﺏُ اﻟﺼَّﻐﻴﺮ ﻓﻲ ﻣُﻬﻞٍ *
ﻭﻟﻴﺲَ ﻳَﻨﻔﻊُ ﻓﻲ ﺫﻯ اﻟﺸَّﻴﺒﺔ اﻷﺩَﺏُ
Discipline benefits Childrēn gradually
But it will not benefit those who have aged.
Being perseverant in discipline is important, particularly with regard to children, as it benefits them and doing good becomes a habit.
A poet said:
ﻻ ﺗَﺴﻪَ ﻋﻦ ﺃﺩﺏ الصغيـ * رِ ﻭﺇﻥ ﺷَﻜﻰ ﺃﻟَﻢَ اﻟﺘََّﻌﺐ
Do not neglect disciplining a Child
Even if he complains of the pain of exhaustion.
Know that a doctor considers the age of the patient, as well as his place and time before prescribing the medicine best suited for him.
Likewise, discipline should be suited to each child, and signs of the success or failure of a child can be noticed from a very early age.”
Excerpt from 'Disciplining the Soul' by Imam Ibn Jawzi (d. 597H)
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Did you know? ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
🖊 The Virtues of Daughters
Allahu Akbar
A Quick Summary of the Ahadeeth:
1. Whoever is good to their daughters, they (the daughters) will be a shield for them on the Day of Judgement.
2. Whoever raises two daughters until they mature will be with me on the Day of Judgement. (The Prophet ﷺ then interlocked his fingers together.)
3. Do not dislike your daughters, as they bring comfort and are dear and special.
4. Whoever has three daughters, three sisters, two daughters, or two sisters, and is kind towards them in their companionship (treats them well) and fears Allah in their regard, for him is Jannah.
5. Whoever has three daughters and is patient with them, feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his wealth, those daughters will be a barrier/shield for him from the fire on the Day of Judgement.
May Allāh enable us to attain these rewards. Aameen
🖊 The Virtues of Daughters
Allahu Akbar
A Quick Summary of the Ahadeeth:
1. Whoever is good to their daughters, they (the daughters) will be a shield for them on the Day of Judgement.
2. Whoever raises two daughters until they mature will be with me on the Day of Judgement. (The Prophet ﷺ then interlocked his fingers together.)
3. Do not dislike your daughters, as they bring comfort and are dear and special.
4. Whoever has three daughters, three sisters, two daughters, or two sisters, and is kind towards them in their companionship (treats them well) and fears Allah in their regard, for him is Jannah.
5. Whoever has three daughters and is patient with them, feeds them, gives them to drink, and clothes them from his wealth, those daughters will be a barrier/shield for him from the fire on the Day of Judgement.
May Allāh enable us to attain these rewards. Aameen
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An example of Qiyas Awla:
Allah says in the Qur'an:
فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَاۤ أُفࣲّ
"And never say to them (your parents) even an 'uff"
{Al-Isra':23}
If an "uff" is forbidden to say to our parents, then anything worse than an "uff", like swearing at them or mocking them, is more worthy to be considered forbidden. Because it is awla (more in level) than an 'uff", so it becomes the Qiyas Awla for the prohibition on saying "uff" to parents. Therefore, anything worse in level than "uff" is more forbidden to say to our parents.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَاۤ أُفࣲّ
"And never say to them (your parents) even an 'uff"
{Al-Isra':23}
If an "uff" is forbidden to say to our parents, then anything worse than an "uff", like swearing at them or mocking them, is more worthy to be considered forbidden. Because it is awla (more in level) than an 'uff", so it becomes the Qiyas Awla for the prohibition on saying "uff" to parents. Therefore, anything worse in level than "uff" is more forbidden to say to our parents.
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Luqmān b. ʿĀmir reported that Abū ʾl-Dardāʾ used to buy sparrows from children and then set them free, saying: “Fly away and lead a free life!”
قَالَ ابْنُ سَعْدٍ: وَأَخْبَرَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ عَبَّادٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا فَرَجُ بْنُ فَضَالَةَ، عَنْ لُقْمَانِ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ: أَنَّهُ كَانَ يَشْتَرِي الْعَصَافِيرَ مِنَ الصبيان ويرسلهن، / ويقول: اذهبن فعشن.
Ibn al-Jāwzī, al-Muntadhim fī Tārīkh al-Mulūk wa ʾl-Umam 5/17
ابن الجوزي، المنتظم في تاريخ الملوك والأمم ٥/١٧
قَالَ ابْنُ سَعْدٍ: وَأَخْبَرَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ عَبَّادٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا فَرَجُ بْنُ فَضَالَةَ، عَنْ لُقْمَانِ بْنِ عَامِرٍ، عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ: أَنَّهُ كَانَ يَشْتَرِي الْعَصَافِيرَ مِنَ الصبيان ويرسلهن، / ويقول: اذهبن فعشن.
Ibn al-Jāwzī, al-Muntadhim fī Tārīkh al-Mulūk wa ʾl-Umam 5/17
ابن الجوزي، المنتظم في تاريخ الملوك والأمم ٥/١٧
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Luqmān b. ʿĀmir reported that Abū ʾl-Dardāʾ used to buy sparrows from children and then set them free, saying: “Fly away and lead a free life!”
قَالَ ابْنُ سَعْدٍ: وَأَخْبَرَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ عَبَّادٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا فَرَجُ بْنُ فَضَالَةَ، عَنْ لُقْمَانِ…
قَالَ ابْنُ سَعْدٍ: وَأَخْبَرَنَا يَحْيَى بْنُ عَبَّادٍ، قَالَ حَدَّثَنَا فَرَجُ بْنُ فَضَالَةَ، عَنْ لُقْمَانِ…
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The Story of Umar (R) losing the custody of his son
In case of a dispute between the father and mother- the mother has most rights. Then grandmother from the maternal side.
Malik related to me that Yahya ibn Said said that he heard al- Qasim ibn Muhammad say, "A woman of the Ansar was married to Umar ibn al-Khattab. She bore Asim ibn Umar to him, and then he separated from her. Umar came to Quba and found his son Asim playing in the courtyard of the mosque. He took him by the arm and placed him before him on his mount. The grandmother of the child saw him and argued with Umar about the child so they went to Abu Bakr as-Siddiq. Umar said, 'My son.' The woman said, 'My son.' Abu Bakr said, 'Do not interfere between a child and its mother.' Umar did not repeat his words."
Yahya said that he heard Malik say, "This is what I would have done in that situation." [ Malik Muwatta Hadith 1463]
In case of a dispute between the father and mother- the mother has most rights. Then grandmother from the maternal side.
Malik related to me that Yahya ibn Said said that he heard al- Qasim ibn Muhammad say, "A woman of the Ansar was married to Umar ibn al-Khattab. She bore Asim ibn Umar to him, and then he separated from her. Umar came to Quba and found his son Asim playing in the courtyard of the mosque. He took him by the arm and placed him before him on his mount. The grandmother of the child saw him and argued with Umar about the child so they went to Abu Bakr as-Siddiq. Umar said, 'My son.' The woman said, 'My son.' Abu Bakr said, 'Do not interfere between a child and its mother.' Umar did not repeat his words."
Yahya said that he heard Malik say, "This is what I would have done in that situation." [ Malik Muwatta Hadith 1463]
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One of the most important prayers for parents in Islam is to make dua for their well-being, happiness, and forgiveness.
Here is a dua you can recite:
رابيرهاموما كاما ربياني ساغيرا
"Rabbirhamhuma kama rabbayani sagheera"
(O Allah, have mercy on them as they brought me up when I was small)
It is also recommended to recite the following dua for parents:
ربانا إغفير لي ولي وليدية وللمؤمنة يوما ياقومول حساب"
"Rabbana ighfir li wa li walidayya wa lil mu'mineena yawma yaqumul hisaab"
(O our Lord, forgive me, my parents, and the believers on the Day of Judgment)
Here is a dua you can recite:
رابيرهاموما كاما ربياني ساغيرا
"Rabbirhamhuma kama rabbayani sagheera"
(O Allah, have mercy on them as they brought me up when I was small)
It is also recommended to recite the following dua for parents:
ربانا إغفير لي ولي وليدية وللمؤمنة يوما ياقومول حساب"
"Rabbana ighfir li wa li walidayya wa lil mu'mineena yawma yaqumul hisaab"
(O our Lord, forgive me, my parents, and the believers on the Day of Judgment)
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In the Same Room, Yet Far Apart: Unveil the Distance From Screens to Faces
Parents! Avoid being busy on your phones in front of your children. You, as a father is an example for your child. You, as a mother, is an example for your child.
Regrettably, many families complain about this. The mother and father sit with their children around them while everyone is holding a device in their hands. Some families say, "Although we are sitting in one room together, we communicate via WhatsApp group." This is from the biggest mistakes that destroys the value of family communication.
When your children see you busy with your phone like this, what are they going to do? They are going to imitate you!
[Slightly paraphrased]
Extracted from the book Video Games & Our Children by Shaykh Dr. Saeed Ibn Saalim Ad-Darmaki
Parents! Avoid being busy on your phones in front of your children. You, as a father is an example for your child. You, as a mother, is an example for your child.
Regrettably, many families complain about this. The mother and father sit with their children around them while everyone is holding a device in their hands. Some families say, "Although we are sitting in one room together, we communicate via WhatsApp group." This is from the biggest mistakes that destroys the value of family communication.
When your children see you busy with your phone like this, what are they going to do? They are going to imitate you!
[Slightly paraphrased]
Extracted from the book Video Games & Our Children by Shaykh Dr. Saeed Ibn Saalim Ad-Darmaki
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Dear parents,
Teach your kids to be respectful and empathetic towards the elderly.
It's so distasteful when you see children nowadays making fun of old people or failing to show respect...
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones and respect our old ones.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1919; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1565.
Teach your kids to be respectful and empathetic towards the elderly.
It's so distasteful when you see children nowadays making fun of old people or failing to show respect...
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones and respect our old ones.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1919; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1565.
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