"Value your future children's tarbiyah over momentary loneliness."

Meaning

... be careful who you marry. Take into consideration when looking for a spouse the future of your children. Good soil produces good fruits. Do not rush into marriage because of loneliness but really look into the person's deen and character.

Our duties as a "Parent" start from much beginning than we think!

Sh. ʿAbdur-Razzāq al-Badr Hafiẓahullāh said:

“From the GREATEST forms of kindness towards parents (Birr al-Wālidayn) is to make DŪʿĀ for (Allāh's) Mercy and Forgiveness upon them — be they alive or dead — with the condition that they are or were Muslims..”

● [فقه الأدعية والأذكار ٢/٢٤٠]

_Sayyiduna Anas رضي الله عنه reports that a man came to Rasulullah ﷺ and said:_

_“I wish to participate in Jihad, but I cannot afford it”_ *Rasulullah ﷺ enquired if any of his parents were alive,* _to which he said: “Yes! My mother is alive”_ *Rasulullah ﷺ said: “Show Allah how you serve her. If you do so (duly) you will be like a: Haji, a Mu’tamir (one doing ‘Umrah) and a Mujaahid (One striving in Allah’s way).”*

*_(Abu Ya’la, Hadith: 2760)_*

Abū Ishāq Al-Jubnayānī رحمه الله said:

“Do not allow anyone to teach your children except a man upright in his religion!

For the child’s religion is based on the religion of his teacher!”

[Tartīb Al-Madārik: 2/157]

Be dutiful to your parents

It's important to realise that as parents and siblings you must refrain from mentioning your child's or sibling's flaws to others especially their inlaws. This causes lot of embarassment to your child or sibling. How would you feel if your flaws, embarassing moments were shared with others? This is a prevalent issue in some culture. No one has the right to cross someone else's personal boundaries. No matter it's your own child, sibling or spouse. Donot mention the flaws of another person without a just cause (where it's necessary to disclose or in case of crime/abuse) no matter how close or stranger they are to you. Most often it's unnecessary because people just need something to talk or gossip about. Sometimes people gossip or backbite to bond with others and prove their friendliness, innocence or superiority. And what better way to kill their time and energy than to talk about someone's weak moments.

Teach your children the Qur'ān! ⚠️

From the methods that will aid one in establishing the love for the Qur'ān in the heart of a child is the following :

1. Surround your child with the Qur'ān from the moment they are born. And this is done by the parents rectifying themselves initially and attaching their hearts to the Qur'ān, establishing a household in which the Qur'ān is constantly recited and played. And from the most important of this is the duty of the mother in this affair, as the children will spend majority of their day with her - so she herself must be amongst those who strive in memorising and reciting the Qur'ān.

“And the child memorizes whatever he encounters; and he does not forget, his heart is like a pure jewel.
So inscribe in his heart what you will of information, no doubt, he will retain it with his proficient memory.”

📖Book: My Sincere Advice to the Women by Umm ‘Abdillah Al-Waadi’iyyah pg. 109

2. Do not think your child is too young to be memorising. A child from the moment they begin to speak, have the ability to flourish and strive in memorising. It is not a must that a child completes the Qaaidah and must be able to read, rather from the best means in memorising is having the child listen ( either to you or a proficient reciter) and repeat after them.

3. As your child grows older, encourage independance in their hifdth. Allow them to memorise alone so that the love for the Qur'ān can be firmly established in their hearts and ask Allāh to aid you upon nurturing your child correctly.

4. Reward your child constantly for the portions they memorise and remind them of the high status of the carriers of the Qur'ān.

If a mother never learns her religion, how can she teach the next generation? A woman is a school. If you teach her, you teach an entire generation.🤍

✅ Allah the Almighty knows best.
Righteous Muslim parents generally bring up children with excellent manners who genuinely enjoy learning more about Islam or at least their offsprings and teenagers avoid bullying and disrupting others' peace; while parents who lack interest in being pious Muslims themselves typically raise kids who mistreat, bully, steal, gossip and disrespect other individuals frequently.

If you want to know a person's overall attitude and personality, observe how their child/children deal with people in general and their behavior towards you - are they kind and well-mannered or do most of their unbecoming acts and naughtiness bother you consistently?

Choosing a good mother for your children is more important than choosing a beautiful wife for yourself. Choosing a good father for your children is important than choosing a rich husband for yourself.

Choose the honest, the kind, the truthful, those who defend Allah and His deen, those who love Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and his sunnah more than they love you.

Very few understand this.
And fewer practice this.

|| What remains a Sadaqa Jaariyah?

Anas Ibn Maalik (radiyAllahu anhuma) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (صلى الله عليه و سلم) said,

The reward of seven things continue after a person passes away whilst he is in his grave:

• Knowledge he taught,
• a river he made,
• a well he dug,
• a tree he planted,
• a masjid he built,
• a copy of the Qur’aan he left behind and
• a child who asks forgiveness for him.

Bayhaqi (rahimahullah) in Shu’ab al-Imaan, 3/248; Abu Nu’aym (رحمه الله تعالى) in Hilyatul Awliyaa’, 2/344. Graded as hasan by al-Albaani (رحمه الله تعالى) in his Sahih aj-Jami’ as-Saghīr, no. 3602.

May Allah grant my father a house in Jannah Aameen.

Imām Aḥmad رحمه الله said:

“Being good/dutiful to parents is an expiation for major sins.”
● [غذاء الألباب ١\٢٨٩]

Power of Istighfar Subhan'Allaah!

Hold on to Istighfar and see how your life changes bi'iznillaah.