Who do you like most?

Q. What did the egg say to the boiling water?

A. "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

Husband: Babe, studies show that having sex is the same as running 10 kilometres

Wife: Bullshit, who runs 10 kilometres in 30 seconds?

What's the toughest part of being a vegan?

Apparently keeping it to yourself.

Girls, if a guy...

* Remembers your birthday
* Knows what you enjoy
* Saves your pictures
* Understands your family & friends

This guy is not your man, this guy is Mark Zuckerberg.

Speak less,speak slowly,speak sweet.

Your shoes are much important than you think. People draw many conclusions about a person based on what shoes they’re wearing.

Maybe the love of my life Got stuck in a condom.

I would rather
have a body full of scars
and a head full of memories
than a life
of regrets
and perfect skin.

Share us your thoughts here: @Deepthoughts2Bot

I feel lost and found when in love

Being in love is like being in an endless sea.

Imagination is the most powerful drag

Life is a BEAUTIFUL LIE but death is a PAINFUL TRUTH

Whoever thought of making Swim Suits convinced the whole world that it’s ok to wear your undergarments outside as long as there is water.

A teacher asks the class “What’s 119 + 1?”

One student answers “5!”

The teacher then says to the student “correct”

“What an ass” can be used as an insult and as a compliment at the same time.

Twinkle twinkle little WHORE close your leg they are not a door.

A kiss can remove anger
But if its too much it can remove clothes.