It cost $0.00 to be
A decent boyfriend.

When it turns 2069, we will probably say "nice" instead of "Happy New Year!"

Girls bring up their boyfriends to get guys to stop flirting with them, guys bring up their girlfriends to indicate that they're not flirting

Technically The Sun is at the bottom of the food chain

The saddest part about metamorphosis is that there are no baby butterflies

Teacher: How do you call mosquitoes in ypur languages

Lazy me: We dont call them they come by their own

She was my crush until I saw her going to the toilet holding a ዳንጎቴ cement paper.

You start looking through someones Instagram and you end up on their cousins brother's wife's sister's profile looking at pics from Bangkok in 2014

(First date)

Her: I'm a Catholic

Stupid Me: (trying to impress her) I'm addicted to cats too

Whats up with the " ye set lij "sedeb is there anyone who came out of a man?

Me: I should probably just wait for her to reply

Also me: Double text her, just in case

*gets left on read for an hour*

Me, again: Man, I shouldn’t exist!

The only white man you can trust is a dead white man.

Robert Gabriel Mugabe

A blade that can cut stone like butter will still cut butter like it's butter.