Someone has just bet me that I cannot make a sentence without using the letter 'e'.

How the fuck am I going to do that?

@deepthoughts2

If dogs could use phones, they'd file missing persons reports all day long.

@deepthoughts2

You know you’re good at something when you can convincingly pretend to be bad at it to spare someone’s feelings.

@deepthoughts2

Realistically, no one's going to recognize a zig zag until it becomes a zig zag zig.

@deepthoughts2

I'm not a prophet but the person reading this is holding a phone with a cracked screen.🚶‍♂️

@deepthoughts2

I've been hearing things like "Legends are born in October,. Kings & Queens born in June" ..but these April babies are so silent...... Fools are born in which month?😂😂😂🤣

@deepthoughts2

Can't wait to get rich and tell people that "money is not everything,as long as u happy"😏

@deepthoughts2

You drink your saliva all the time, but as soon as it leaves your mouth it’s disgusting to think about drinking it.

@deepthoughts2

That awkward moment when your mom is washing the dishes and you put one in the sink.

@deepthoughts2

When people say you've changed there's 95% chance that u stoped acting the way they wanted you to.
#fact

@deepthoughts2

That awkward moment when you look fine in the mirror then soon as u take a picture you look like a troll

#subscriber
@deepthoughts2

How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They’ll just shoot the room for being black

@deepthoughts2

Don't call yourself my friend if we respect each other

@deepthoughts2

I'm "babe can you check who texted me" loyal

@deepthoughts2

Being a feminist doesn't make you smart.

@deepthoughts2

So mom can hear me saying "አበዛሽዉ አሁንማ" under my breath but can't hear me screaming "አቤት" 10 times after she called my name from the kitchen.

@deepthoughts2

My friend your crush sends you voice message & you run around the house looking for earphones only to find out she says... 'I HAVE A BOYFRIEND'

@deepthoughts2

If it were for the stories read at funerals, no one would deserve hell.

@deepthoughts2

If you don't work hard this 2012, you will keep on forwarding long messages to 10 people so that miracle can happen in 10 min.

@deepthoughts2

If we ever discover a way to immortality, there's gonna be some super unlucky people that die right before it's released.

@deepthoughts2

A kidnapping is horrible, but a kid napping is wonderful.

@deepthoughts2