I'm so angry right now that I could strategically throw my phone at a safe spot on the couch.
@deepthoughts2
@deepthoughts2
Dad: Son, you're adopted.
Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
@deepthoughts2
Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.
Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.
@deepthoughts2
Have you reached that stage where farting next to the person u are dating isn't a problem anymore 😜😅
@deepthoughts2
@deepthoughts2
I'm hosting a charity event for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come, let me know.
@deepthoughts2
@deepthoughts2
Very few things are as helpless as waking up before everybody else at a friend's house.
@deepthoughts2
@deepthoughts2
The happy birthday song is 4 sentences, but when being sung it feels like it goes on forever.
@deepthoughts2
@deepthoughts2
Deep Thoughts pinned «What is the wildest thing your parents said to you? 👉 @deepthoughts2Bot»