I asked my North Korean friend, “what’s it like to live in North Korea?”

He responded, “can’t complain.”

@deepthoughts2

Reading must look bizarre to cats. You get a flat thing, you stare at the flat thing, and then get upset when the cat tries to entertain you by sitting on the flat thing.

We need Ross's Unagi right now.

@deepthoughts2

Within a month we'll be suspicious of people with nice haircuts.

@Deepthoughts2

She is bored and texting you,but you fell head over heals for her.

@deepthoughts2

I hate finding out things that you were supposed to tell me.

@deepthoughts2

Hey fools today is your day. Are you still in the mood for jokes.

@deepthoughts2

We're too grown to fake feelings.

@deepthoughts2

Love was the most powerful weapon.
These days Music is powerful than love.

@deepthoughts2

Habeshas on twitter ይቆላቸዋል

@deepthoughts2

We never stop clapping. The gaps between the claps are just longer sometimes.

@deepthoughts2

Brain: we're sad today
Me: why?
Brain: i said we sad today!

@deepthoughts2

I was doing a pretend job interview with my 6 year old daughter and I asked her, “where do you see yourself in 5 years?”

She said: “in a mirror”

@deepthoughts2

Butts are the only thing you hit to show how much you like them.

@deepthoughts2

Once quarantine is over

My friends: “You wan-“

Me: “I'm down”

@deepthoughts2

If you are the oldest child, you were once the favorite child.

@deepthoughts2

Breakfast can't be skipped, only delayed. @deepthoughts2

If you don't swallow your pride, you're not thirsty enough for her love.

@deepthoughts2

Telling a woman you love her while treating her like shit is abuse.

@deepthoughts2

Money can't buy love, but it can give you more opportunities to find it.

@deepthoughts2

What if John Cena has stared in a bunch of Ethiopian films but we just can't see him?

@deepthoughts2