My roommate is 2 days younger than me

So I’ve gotten into the habit of saying “when I was your age...” and then describing what I did 2 days ago

@deepthoughs2

Yo mama so fat when she died the angel refused to take her

#yomama

you're crying for schools to resume, if they do social distancing inside exam hall, will you graduate? 🤦🏾‍♀

@deepthoughts2

Yo mama so old that her birth certificate says expired.

#yomama

Thou shall not chase no nigga

Bitchyoutrippin 4:23

@deepthoughts2

Unconditional love is wonderful. Unconditional support is dangerous.

@deepthoughts2

Short Guy: How's the weather up there?
Tall Guy: Fine! How's my ass smell?

@deepthoughts2

Men are the best cooks
Just two eggs, one banana and a little milk leaves a woman satisfied for nine months.

@deepthoughts2

Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is winning.

@deepthoughts2

Q: How did the black guy escape prison?
A: He unscrewed all of the light-bulbs.
Q: How did he get caught?
A: He smiled.

@deepthoughts2

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

@deepthoughts2

Join our other channel @unsound_art

Pornhub singlehandedly ruined the word hub and the black and orange color scheme

@deepthoughts2

Someone prolly thinking about making “how to go out” YouTube video after this quarantine.

@deepthoughts2

I correct autocorrect more than it corrects me.

@deepthoughts2

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I keep subnoscripts ON b/c sometimes I just be snacking too loud.

@deepthoughts2