Being Dutiful to Your Parents
https://x.com/markazsalafi/status/1602004959238971392

What men pass through! May we be blessed with dutiful and kind children... 🤔

Truthfulness 📖

Exactly.

Dangers of Social Media

Social media has become an integral part of our lives. Unfortunately, it has made us much more vulnerable to evil eye. We should be wary of posting pictures of ourselves, our possessions or our children on social media. Similarly, we should not wistfully gaze at the blessings of others and envy them for it. We should reflect on how using social media affects our health, relations, spirituality and our relationship with Allāh (subḥānahū wa taʿālā).

"A mother’s right is higher&greater than just having 1 day in the year to be honoured."

الشيخ ابن عثيمين رحمه الله.
📚مجموع الفتاوى( ٢/ ٣٠١ ، ٣٠٢).

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In Islam we are obliged to honour our mothers and fathers everyday of the year not just once on Mothers or Fathers day

Next level love for Mothers.

1. Be dutiful to your mother, it will be compensation of the sin.
2. When a Tabiyee answered his mother louder than her voice
3. Muhammad ibn Sireen (Tabiyee) and his respect for the mother.
4. The Best deed closer to Allah is dutifulness to the mother.
5. Abu Huraira and behavior with his mother.
6. What a way of expressing love.
7. Tik tok mamas vs the great mothers of Islam.
8. Charity on the behalf of mother who died.
9. Treat your mother's kindly.
10. Paradise is beneath her feet

1. Be dutiful to your mother, it will be compensation of the sin.

A man came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said: "O Messenger of Allah! I have been afflicted by a tremendous sin. Is there any repentance for me?" He said: "Do you have your mother?" The man said: "No." He said: "Do you have any maternal aunts?" The man said: "Yes." He said: "Then be dutiful to them."

Reference : Jami at-Tirmidhi 1904

2. When he answered his mother louder than her voice

It is narrated from Abdullah bin Awn (Tabiyee).
أن أمه نادته فأجابها فعلا صوتُه صوتَها، فأعتق رقبتين .

His mother called him and he answered her in a louder voice than hers, so he freed two slaves."

[Siyar a'lam al-Nubala, v.6, p.366].


3. Muhammad ibn Sireen (Tabiyee) and his respect for the mother.

Hafsa bint Sireen said: I have never seen my brother (Muhammad ibn Sireen) raising his voice against our mother, He would talk with her very softly.

at-Tabqaat al Kubra 7/198, chain authenticated by Sh Zybair Ali Zai, Maqalaat vol 3

4. The Best deed closer to Allah is dutifulness to the mother.

Ibn Abbas said:
"I don't know of a deed closer to Allah, Exalted and Majestic, other than dutifulness to the mother."

Grade : Sahih (Al-Albani)

Reference : Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 4
In-book reference : Book 1,

5. Abu Huraira and behavior with his mother.

When Abu Huraira entered his land, he shouted out in his loudest voice, "Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing!" She replied, "And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessing." He said, "May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child." She replied, "My son, may Allah repay you well and be pleased with you as you were dutiful towards me when I was old."

Reference : Al-Adab Al-Mufrad 14

6. What a way of expressing love. Feel that you do the same with your loved one and think the loved one is doing the same.

Imam Abu Abdullah Al-Mazari Al-Asuli (RA) (530 AH) narrates that when he set out for Yemen, his mother said to him,

"I give you the promise of Allah that every night when the moon is in the middle of the sky (i.e. 13th moon), you should see towards it and observe it. I will do the same thing due to my love for you. It is possible that our sights may meet on the moon and my yearning may be relieved."

Imam Al-Mazari (RA) said, "I fulfilled my mother's promise by doing the same thing." (Rawdat al-I'ilam li Ibn al-Azraq al-Gharnati: 880/2 Via Faizan Faisal.)

7. Tik tok mamas vs the great mothers of Islam.

Mother of Sufyan Thawri (d 161 h) said to him:

"Son! Seek knowledge, I will support you by sewing clothes. O my son, when you have written down ten Ahadeeth, look and see if you notice an improvement in the way you walk, in your level of patience, and in your degree of self-dignity. For if you do not see any such improvement, then know that your knowledge does not benefit you (rather there is) harm of that knowledge".

Tareekh Jurjan : 492 via Faizan Faisal .

8. Charity on the behalf of mother who died.

Narrated Ibn Abbas:

A man said to Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) , "My mother died, will it benefit her if I give in charity on her behalf?" The Prophet (ﷺ) replied in the affirmative. The man said, "I have a garden and I make you a witness that I give it in charity on her behalf."

Sahih al-Bukhari 2770

9. Treat your mother's kindly.

Miqdam bin Ma'dikarib, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that:
حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا إِسْمَاعِيلُ بْنُ عَيَّاشٍ، عَنْ بَحِيرِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ خَالِدِ بْنِ مَعْدَانَ، عَنِ الْمِقْدَامِ بْنِ مَعْدِيكَرِبَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ ‏ "‏ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِأُمَّهَاتِكُمْ - ثَلاَثًا - إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِآبَائِكُمْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يُوصِيكُمْ بِالأَقْرَبِ فَالأَقْرَبِ ‏"‏ ‏.‏

Allah's Messenger said: "Allah enjoins you to treat your mother's kindly"-three times- "Allah enjoins you to treat your fathers kindly, Allah enjoins you to treat the closest and the next closest kindly."
Sunan Ibn Majah 3661

10. Paradise is beneath her feet

It was narrated from Mu'awiyah bin Jahimah As-Sulami, that Jahimah came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said:

"O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your advice." He said: "Do you have a mother?" He said: "Yes." He said: "Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet."

Reference : Sunan an-Nasa'i 3104, Al-Tabaraani (1/225/2).

Grade: Sahih by Darussalam and al Albani, and by others such as Al-Haakim (4/151) and al-Dhahabi agreed with him, as did al-Mundhiri, 3/214.

The love of sahaba, tabiyeen and great scholars with their mothers was next level.

“Life doesn’t come with a manual, it comes with a Mother.” – Unknown

“Mother. One person who does the work of twenty. For FREE.” – Unknown

The Four Sons of Nūh (‘alayhis-salām)

Shaykh Sālih Āl Shaykh said:
Shem (Sām) the son of Nūh is the father of the Arabs, Romans (Byzantines), and Persians. For this reason all three of them are called Semitic people and their languages are known as Semitic languages. They lived in a portion of North African and most of Asia.

Ham (Hām) the son of Nūh is the father of Sudan, meaning the black race in Africa and other places.

Japheth (Yāfith) the son of Nūh is the father of the Turks, Slavic, and Chinese. The Turks are the Russians, not those who are from Turkey, even if they are called Turks because the origin of the Ottomans is Russia.
End of Shaykh’s words

ibn Kathīr said concerning the verse:
So it (the ship) sailed with them amidst the waves like mountains, and Nūh called out to his son, who had separated himself (apart), "O my son! Embark with us and be not with the disbelievers." (Sūrah Hūd 11:42)

His statement: “Nūh called out to his son” this was his fourth son. His name was Canān (Can'ān also said as Yām) and he was a disbeliever. His father called out to him to believe and board the ship with them, so he would not drown with the disbelievers.

Translated by Rasheed ibn Estes Barbee
via #mtws - http://mtws.posthaven.com/the-four-sons-of-nuh-lyh-lslm

A poor man asked one of his friends: “𝗶𝗳 𝗜 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗶𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼?”
His friend replied: “𝗜’𝗱 𝘄𝗿𝗮𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝘀𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂.”
The poor man said: “𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘄, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝗲 𝗻𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜’𝗺 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝗱.”
‌‏قال رجل لآخر : لو متّ أنا الآن ما كُنتَ تفعل؟
‎قال : كُنتُ أكفّنك وأدفنك
‎قال : فاكسني الساعة ما تُكفّنني به، وإذا متُّ فادفنّي عرياناً

This story has a deep meaning:

People die of hunger and the next day, the villagers organise a big meal for the attendees of the funeral!

Why didn’t they feed the man when he was alive?

Others neglect their parents for years and when they die, they put a flower on their grave.

What use is a flower to a dead person?

Aim high in both spiritual and worldly matters. Do dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and call on Allah for Help. Don't just ask that He make your kids into good Muslims; ask Him to make your kids from amongst the best and most virtuous of all Muslims ever. Trust in Him to answer your duas. Nothing is impossible for Allah.“

*Today’s Beautiful Hadith is about Two Daughters*

Narrated Aisha (RA): A lady along with her two daughters came to me asking (for some alms), but she found nothing with me except one date which I gave to her and she divided it between her two daughters, and did not eat anything herself, and then she got up and went away. Then the Prophet (ﷺ) came in and I informed him about this story. He said, "Whoever is put to trial by these daughters and he treats them generously (with benevolence) then these daughters will act as a shield for him from Hell-Fire."

(Sahih al-Bukhari 1418, Book 24, Hadith 22)

*_Children are a blessing and can also be a test. They test your patience, which improves your character and allows you to learn to control your anger. They are a responsibility which places an increased financial burden on you as you feed, clothe and educate them, but all that you do for them not only carries a reward but also shapes them into who they become. If they are good in character, then they will reap you far more blessings that you can imagine even long after you are gone. Treat your children fairly and love your sons and daughters. If you are blessed with two daughters, raise them well and with compassion, Insha’Allah they will protect you from the Hellfire._*

Think your daughter is too young for hijab? Too young to worry about segregation? Too young to worry about the gaze of men?

There was a study done on a general population of men: they were shown pictures, voice recordings and body odour/scent of women (without being told their age) & asked to rate their attractiveness.

Young girls (10-14) were rated just as highly attractive as adults (18-22). There was a slow decline in attractiveness after 22 up until menopause.

Source:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/147470491301100209

Stop cuddling and protecting your kids in excess. Let them know mama or papa wouldn't always be there to fix things. Let them figure out or deal with certain things themselves. Don't always rush to the rescue because 'you love them'. You are making them unfit to compete favorably in the open world. This is especially for your boys.

Sometimes, let them get up on their own after they fall. Especially if you determine the fall is harmless. Let him cry waiting for help, and when he gets none, let him get up on his own.

Let them handle some situations on their own without running to mama or papa. If I had a son who engaged in a fight and beat up another kid, these are the things I will want to know:

Was he bullying someone younger or weaker?
Did it lead to physical injury?
Was he the aggressor?

If they are mates, there was no physical injury and he was only defending himself, I will hi-five my kid. You got that right boy! I ain't teaching my kids to turn their other cheek when slapped and be pacifists. The world out there is tough, you have to toughen up your kids and don't make cry babies out of them.

If my child tells me another kid beat him or her up in school I certainly wont be going to talk to the parents of the kid or the school authority. I will look them in the eye and tell them the weak gets beaten, it is part of natural selection. Defend yourself. If he tries to defend himself and it doesn't work, then it is time to step in. Help comes after personal effort, not before.

Many parents raising chicken wings today as babies all in the name of love and civilisation, civilisation my foot. Have you forgotten how you were raised? Even if you won't use a replica of it, at least balance it out, not throw it all away. My Dad will make fun of you if you came home crying that one boy beat you up in school.

We can do better. The world has gotten tougher, but sadly the men have gotten weaker!

Abu Imrān

Advice of Sālih ad-Dimashqi رحمه الله to his son:

O’ my beloved son, if a day and night passes in which your religion, body (i.e. health), wealth and family are all safe then increase in your praises and thanks to Allah, Exalted be He.

For how many people during that same day will have lost their religion, been afflicted with disease, become bankrupt and lost their family members whilst you are in a state of safety and well-being (from Allāh).

Siyar A'lam al-Nubala 3/222, Adh-Dhahabi رحمه الله

In order to elevate one's status in paradise, a calamity might occur.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say: When Allah has previously decreed for a servant a rank which he has not attained by his action, He afflicts him in his body, or his property or his children.

Abu Dawud said: Ibn Nufail added in his version: "He then enables him to endure that." The agreed version goes: "So that He may bring him to the rank previously decreed from him by Allah."

[Abu Dawood 3090, Sahih]

Parenting Advice from Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

“You're not responsible for your children's actions, only for what you teach them (or don't teach them).

Focus on teaching your children adab and akhlaq (manners and etiquette); parents don't emphasize these enough any more. Have adab with yourself before you set out to teach adab -- that means "pausing". Be willing to pause before reacting.

Adab is the capacity to have the appropriate action, attitude, and response in any given situation.

Oftentimes we do more damage by how we react to our children's mishaps. When we lose our temper with our kids, we're still "teaching" them; we're just not teaching them the appropriate reaction to life's adversities and challenges. Our kids are always learning from us.

Criticizing your children is a bid'ah (a blameworthy innovation); it's not from the Sunnah (way of the Prophet). Don't criticize; don't nag. Nagging your children about everything is a good way to guarantee that they don't listen to you about anything. Nagging never works.

Sometimes the correct response is to not say anything.

If you want to know how to raise teenagers, look at the life of Anas (radiAllahu anhu); he lived in the house of the Prophet (salallaahu alaihi wasallam) from the age of 10 to 20. He broke things and made mistakes, but the Prophet (saw) never focused on whatever Allah had already destined; he never shamed Anas (rA) for his mistakes. He only focused on gentle teaching and gentle reminders. (i.e. "Did you take care of that task I asked you to do?" rather than "Why haven't you done what I asked you to do yet?! How many times do I have to remind you?!")

Children who have not yet attained the age of puberty are not held accountable by Allah (swt) even if they commit murder (God forbid), so who are we to freak out on our kids for "little things" like spilled milk?

When the Prophet (saw) saw another young sahabah (companion) eating greedily from all over a plate, he gently told him, "Say Allah's Name before eating; eat with your right hand; and eat from what is in front of you." He didn't criticize him for his (lack of) manners; he only told him the correct way to eat and then moved on.

We are not police officers or judges when it comes to our children; rather, we should be like shepherds -- we should try to gently guide them in the direction of where we want them to eventually end up.

Complaining about your children to friends is blameworthy; however, consulting with ppl who have wisdom and experience is praiseworthy. Don't talk to just anyone about your concerns regarding your children.

When asked about getting kids to pray or to wear the hijab, he reminded us that Islam is not about do's and don'ts and a bunch of rules; it's about the heart. We need to teach kids to have hearts that are directed towards pleasing their Lord. They should desire on their own to live lives of taqwa (God-consciousness). We must model taqwa for them by how we live our own lives. Some children may need gentle nudges and reminders to do the right thing.

Don’t over indulge and spend on your children teach them the value of what they have, sometimes we fill ourselves of something we lack when we over indulge in them this is dangerous at any age.

All virtues that are virtuous should be taught to and emphasized for BOTH genders (like modesty and lowering the gaze and gentleness). Boys should not be shamed for being shy. Shyness is praiseworthy.

Prayer should be a pleasant experience for the kids. He talked about his own children taking turns saying their personal duas aloud after prayer time; sometimes the kids would fall into hugging and wrestling on the prayer mat afterwards.

Teach kids about the Prophet Muhammad's (saw) life.

Remind yourself about what your parents did RIGHT.

Don't become self-satisfied and overly confident in your parenting.

Seek Allah's Pleasure through your own parenting, and facilitate for your children to seek Allah's Pleasure as well.

Brothers don't let ur wife and kids lead u to neglect ur parents, look after them especially in their old age.