The only things we know about serial killers are things we know about serial killers who got caught.

@deepthoughts2

I'm ugly fine.I'm cute but you can't be starting at me too long because you will start noticing shit

@deepthoughts

Earth travels 1.6 million miles per day. Yesterday’s problems are literally 1.6 million miles away.

@deepthoughts2

Females are so extra dramatic when they get mad. Everything is "Bye" "Delete my number" "i'm done" "i hate you" "You wont hear from me anymore" "Have a blessed life" "Leave me alone" and then they sit there waiting for reply.

@deepthoughts2

When i had all the answers
The question changed.

@deepthoughts2

Replacing the W with T in What, When and Where answers those phrases.

@deepthoughts2

How do you open a parachute?

I need answers quickly please.

@deepthoughts2

Take nothing for granted just because the sun will rise tomorrow doesn't mean you will

@deepthoughts2

"But who prays for Satan? Who, in 21 centuries,has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"
-Mark twain
@deepthoughts2

The less seriously you take yourself on the internet, the more fun you have.

@deepthoughts2

Relax you are just overthinking.

@deepthoughts2

I can cut a piece of wood in two pieces just by looking at it.

It may seem impossible, but I saw it with my own two eyes

@deepthoughts2

Having the name fikr
must be hard
U don't know if someone is flirting with u or calling u

@deepthoughts2

Toilet papers is sold out everywhere due to assholes

@deepthoughts2

A very loud, unattractive, mean, nasty woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter, "I just couldn't believe someone would fuck you twice ..."

Always give fat people wrong directions, these people need to exercise.

@deepthoughts2

Usually, girls don’t know how to respond to an insult because they’re only used to compliments from their girl friends, while guys don’t know how to respond to a compliment because they’re only used to insults from their guy friends.

@deepthoughts2

Damn the only time ምላሴ የማይተሳሰረው is when responding to an insult