No matter how old we are, even if there are children who care and love us, the love of a parent is still different. May Allah grant our parents the highest level of paradise. Aameen❤️

Al-Hasan al-Basri رحمه الله said:

‎“Have dinner with your mother, be kind to her, sit with her so that her eyes find comfort by way of you.

All of this is more beloved to me than making a (recommended) Hajj.”

‎بر الوالدين 4

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From the means by which a Jinn can overpower and posses the Children.

My Parents.

The woman of Jannah

Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported:
A poor woman came to me carrying her two daughters. I gave her three date-fruits. She gave a date to each of them and then she took up one date-fruit and brought that to her mouth to eat, but her daughters asked her that also. She then divided between them the date-fruit that she intended to eat. This (kind) treatment of her impressed me and I mentioned that to Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) who said, 'Verily, Allah has assured Jannah for her, because of (this act) of her," or said, "He (SWT) has rescued her from Hell- Fire". [Muslim].

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The Story of Umar (R) losing the custody of his son

In case of a dispute between the father and mother- the mother has most rights. Then grandmother from the maternal side.

Malik related to me that Yahya ibn Said said that he heard al- Qasim ibn Muhammad say, "A woman of the Ansar was married to Umar ibn al-Khattab. She bore Asim ibn Umar to him, and then he separated from her. Umar came to Quba and found his son Asim playing in the courtyard of the mosque. He took him by the arm and placed him before him on his mount. The grandmother of the child saw him and argued with Umar about the child so they went to Abu Bakr as-Siddiq. Umar said, 'My son.' The woman said, 'My son.' Abu Bakr said, 'Do not interfere between a child and its mother.' Umar did not repeat his words."

Yahya said that he heard Malik say, "This is what I would have done in that situation." [ Malik Muwatta Hadith 1463]

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Ladies, wake up before your children become woke up.

Take control of your family and home with that which you want your family and home to be built upon.

If you don’t teach your children their religion, they will easily be fooled when those who want them, come with their false statements to “argue with a Muslim”…

To teach our children the religion, we first have to know ours.

If you swipe the slides and see the untruths this book is saying to argue with a Muslim to push the LGBT ideology- their argument isn’t even factual! (Also a lesson as to why those without knowledge should not speak about Islam because we do not know what we do not know)

I remember years ago seeing a BBC news report talking to a gay head teacher in Birmingham.

He had a big smile on his face as he proudly proclaimed he had a little 5 year old girl in his school who “BELIEVES it’s okay to have two dads”…

The key word here is BELIEVE.

These people do not want tolerance. They do not want you to live your way and they live theirs. They want you to BELIEVE their ideology is right and they will not stop until they do.

They know they will not win you over. Which is why they are going after your children.

It is a cult. It is an ideology. It is a religion.

Saying this doesn’t mean we are homophobic or transphobic, just as those who disbelieve in Islam doesn’t make them Islamophobic.

It means we do not want their beliefs and ideologies forced upon our children because those children belong to us, not them.

Ladies you have to know what is happening.

You have to protect your children.

Because if you don’t, they are easy pray.

There is no excuse for any of us, no matter where we live.

As the famous quote says:

“We cannot continue to send our children to Caesar for their education and be surprised when they come home as Romans”

May Allah aid us, guide us, and guide our children.

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Hasan Al-Basrī رحمه الله said:

“Looking at the face of the mother is an act of worship!

So how about obeying her?”

[Musnad Ibn Mubārak: 146]

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Muslim men must give much much time to their sons and daughters, otherwise there are many Satans in the name of humans waiting for them to lead them astray.Giving time to children is more important than earning money.
Earn money what can suffice you and give much time to kids.

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If you’re doing an obligatory prayer and your parents call for you, you don’t have to answer them.

If however you’re doing a supererogatory prayer and your parents call for you, according to some jurists you can answer them, and according to others you only have to answer your mother but not your father because your mother has more right over you.

Source: Fatḥ al-Bārī fī Sharḥ Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī by Ibn Rajab al-Ḥanbalī (d. 795 AH).

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A Father’s Role.....

Today’s Beautiful Hadith is about Honouring Parents


Ibn 'Umar (RA) narrated that: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: "Among the most dutiful of deeds is that a man nurture relations with the people his father was friends with."

(Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1903, Book 27, Hadith 7)

Honour your parents by asking about those they used to ask about. Keep relations with those your father did and for this you will Insha'Allah get the reward of a dutiful child even after he has passed away.

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THE FIVE TYPES OF CHILDREN

There are 5 types of children in this world:

1. Does not do what his parents order him
(this type is 'aaq - i.e. undutiful/disobedient which is one of the seven majors sins)

2. Does what his parents tell, but is displeased with it (this type does not gain any reward)

3. Does what he is told , but follows it up by raising his voice, or mentioning those favors [e.g. I have done so much for you, I am always doing 'xyz' for you. this type earns a sin)

4. Does what he is told, willingly and happily (this type is rewarded), and they are few.

5. Does what his parents want before he is even told (this is the type which is al-baar al-muwafaq i.e. dutiful and kind to his parents and is given the ability to be successful in all his affairs), and they are rare.

As for the last two types, they are known as Al-Birr (the obedient)

About them, don't ask about the barakah [blessings Allah puts in person's time, wealth, health, efforts etc. whereby it increases, multiplies or a lot of good comes from something little] they will have in their life, and the vast provision (rizq i.e. wealth, knowledge, health etc. Allah gives them); and how much their hearts will be at rest; and the ease they will find in all their affairs [due to being dutiful to their parents].

The difficult question for every person is - what type of child are you?

Don't think that by simply kissing the forehead or hands, or even the feet of your parents, that you have attained their ultimate pleasure..

What is al-Birr (being dutiful and kind towards one's parents)?

... Al-Birr is to recognize what is in the heart of your parents and act upon it without waiting for an instruction.

...Al-Birr is knowing what makes them happy, then racing towards doing it; and understanding what hurts them, then striving that they don't ever see it from you!

...Al-Birr could be in something that you feel your parents desire, and you bring it to them, even a cup of tea..

...Al-Birr is that you ensure the comfort of your parents, even at the cost of your own happiness; so if your staying out late will cause them worry and stress, then you sleeping early is part of your birr (kindness) towards them.

...Al-Birr is that you miss a party that you are invited to when you feel, even for a second, that your staying out late will cause then worry and stress.

....Al-Birr is to plan a surprise Umrah or Hajj trip for your parents and arranging for them a nice hotel which they deserve!

....Al-Birr is to cheer up your parents - at an age where there does not remain a lot which brings them joy and happiness...

....Al-Birr is to spend abundantly
on your parents from your wealth even if they posses millions, without thinking twice about how much they own or whether they need it; for everything you have is only because of their hard work, and sleepless nights which they spent looking after you..

...Al-birr is to look for their comfort, and not let them exert effort to make you comfortable, for it is enough how much strived for your sake already...

There are many ways of Al-Birr which lead to -Janah (Paradise), so don't restrict it to a single kiss on the forehead which may be followed up by many shortcomings...

و قَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلاَّ تَعْبُدُواْ إِلاَّ إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا

{And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.} (Quran 17:23).....💞

MAY ALLAH TA'ALA MAKE ALL OBEDIENT CHILDREN - NO MATTER HOW GROWN UP THEY MAY BECOME AAMEEN

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Raising children is very difficult in this day and age, but there are certain things that only make it harder. As parents, we are all tempted to sit our kids in front of the TV or hand them an iPad or get them the latest video game systems. We feel it is our responsibility to entertain our children, but this can take a lot of time and energy. And let's face it: time and energy is always in short supply when you're a parent. So it's easier to let the electronics do the entertaining for us.

But this is a mistake. Numerous studies show that extended exposure to TV, smart phones, electronics, video games for young children causes all kinds of cognitive disadvantages. Even if the content your children consume is 100% clean and wholesome, the impact of a flickering screen is enough to decrease their attention span, decrease their ability to learn new things, decrease their language skills, and much more.

Beyond studies, I have seen this first hand and heard about it from other parents numerous times. Parents bemoan the fact that their kids are addicted to the iPad, the smartphone, the video games. I was shocked to hear that many kids over this past summer vacation were spending over 8 hours a day playing games like Fortnite!

The reality is that developers deliberately design content that is addictive. This makes everything doubly and triply dangerous. It would not be an exaggeration to say that the next generation faces an epidemic of screen addiction because they have had access from pretty much infancy.

If you are a new parent, simply avoid exposing your children to screens. There is no need for there to be a TV in family areas. There is no need to give your toddlers an iPad. Don't let them play with your smartphone if you have one. Maintain a strict no screens for children rule.

As for entertainment, ask yourself: How were all the world's children entertaining themselves before the advent of all these screens? It is not impossible! The first thing to realize is that you are not responsible for entertaining your children 24/7. You are not their personal entertainer. You are only responsible for being their parent and spending quality time with them, but that doesn't mean you have to be entertaining them all day long.

Get your kids used to entertaining themselves. This is a skill all children and, in fact, human beings need. Especially as they get to be 3-4 years old, kids should be able to spend at least some time alone. Reading, playing with toys, drawing, coloring, building with blocks, etc., etc.

I am personally very concerned about the society that is going to result from a generation that has spent a significant portion of its waking hours staring into a screen. I think the effects of this will manifest in many ways that we cannot fully comprehend until it happens. And then it will be too late. As a parent, do your part and don't give your kids the chance to become an addict.
#copied

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📍O Parents! Fear Allāh and nurture your daughters upon the obedience of Allāh

*How To Raise And Điscipline Your Chîldrēn*

*By Ibn al-Jawzi (d. 597H)*

THE best of Điscipline is that which is done at a young age. If a child is left to his own characteristics and he or she matures into an adult possessing those characteristics, changing the person would be Đifficūlt.

_A poet said:_

*“If you straighten the branches they will straighten up,*

But wood does not soften if you amend it.

Điscipline benefits Chîldrēn gradually,

But it will not benefit those who have aged.”

Being perseverant in discipline is important, particularly with regard to children, as it benefits them and doing good becomes a habit.

_A poet said:_

*"Do not neglect disciplining a Chîld,*

*Even if he complains of the pain of exhaustion."*

Know that a doctor considers the age of the patient, as well as his place and time before prescribing the medicine best suited for him.

Likewise, discipline should be suited to each Chîld, and signs of the success or failure of a Chîld can be noticed from a very early age.

A man once told Sufyan al-Thawri *رَحِمَـهُ اللّه*, "We hit our Chîldrēn if they do not pray." Sufyan *رَحِمَـهُ اللّه* told him, *“Rather, you should encourage them and tell them about the reward.”*

Zubayd al-Yafi used to tell young boys, *"Whoever prays will have five walnuts."*

Ibrahim ibn Adham *رَحْمَـةُ اللّه* said, *“O son! Seek knowledge of hadith. I will give you one dirham for every hadith that you hear.”* On account of this, the boy started to seek the knowledge of hadith.

Taking Care Of The Trust

A Father *(and mother)* should know that his Chîld is a trust placed in his hands. He should make sure the Chîld avoids bad company from a young age. He should teach him to do good, for a child's heart is empty and accepts anything that is given to it.

The father *(and mother)* should also instil the love of hayaa *(modesty / shyness)* and generosity. He should tell him stories of the righteous, and keep him away from *'love poetry'* because it is a seed of corruption.

However, he should not prevent poems about generosity or courage, so the Chîld can exalt these characteristics and becomes courageous.

If the Chîld makes a mistake, the father should overlook. His teacher should expose his secrets and mistakes, but his father should only reprimand the Chîld in private.

His father *(and mother)* should prohibit excessive eating and excessive sleeping. Instead make the Chîld accustomed to simple food and minimal sleep, for it is healthier. He should be treated with physical exercises such as walking and disciplined in proper manners by being prohibited from turning his back to people and from sneezing and yawning in their presence.

If he chooses to exhibit an ill characteristic, he should be deterred from it excessively before it becomes a habit. It is fine to discipline him if leniency is of no use.

Luqman told his son,
*“O son! Discipling the son acts as a fertiliser for sowing seeds.”*

If the boy is aggressive, his father *(and mother)* should be lenient with him.

Ibn ‘Abbas *رَضِيَ اللّهُ عَنْهُ* said,
*“The aggressiveness of a boy is an increase in his intelligence.”*

The Future Of Your Chîld

Wise people used to say:

*“Your son is like your flower the first seven years, and your servant the second seven years. By the time he reaches fourteen, if you have been good to him, then he will be your partner, and if you have bad to him then he will be your enemy.”*

A Chîld should not be beaten or offended after he reaches puberty, because he will hope to lose his father in order that he may have his own way.

Whoever reaches twenty years of age and has not become righteous, then his godliness is remote; however, leniency should be practiced with everyone.

*– Excerpt from the book 'Disciplining the Soul by Imam Ibn Jawzi*

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"My parents beat me as a child and I am not traumatized," said the man whose ex-partner reported him for physical violence.

"When I was a child they left me crying alone until I fell asleep and it was so bad I did not go out," said the man who spends long hours in social networks, affecting his sleep.

"They punished me as a child and I'm fine," said the man who, every time he makes a mistake, says to himself words of contempt, as a form of self-punishment.

"As a child, they put a heavy hand on me and I suffer from a trauma called 'education'," said the woman who still does not understand why all of her partners end up being aggressive.

"When I became capricious as a child, my father locked me in a room alone to learn and today I appreciate it," said the woman who has suffered anxiety attacks and can not explain why she is so afraid of being locked in small spaces .

"My parents told me they were going to leave me alone or give me to a stranger when I did my tantrums and I do not have traumas," said the woman who has prayed for love and has forgiven repeated infidelities so as not to feel abandoned

"My parents controlled me with just the look and see how well I came out," said the woman who can not maintain eye contact with figures of 'authority' without feeling intimidated.

"As a child, I got even with the iron cable and today I am a good man, even professional," said the man his neighbors have accused the police for drunk hitting objects and yelling at his wife.

"My parents forced me to study a career that would make me money, and see how well off I am," said the man who dreams of Friday every day because he is desperate in his work doing something every day that is not what he always wanted.

"When I was little they forced me to sit down until all the food was finished and they even force fed me, not like those permissive parents" affirmed the woman who does not understand why she could not have a healthy relationship with food and in her adolescence came to develop an eating disorder.

"I thank my mom and my dad for every blow and every punishment, because, if not, who knows what would happen to me," said the man who has never been able to have a healthy relationship, and whose son constantly lies to him because he has fear.

And so we go through life, listening to people claiming to be good people without trauma, but paradoxically, in a society full of violence and wounded people.

Copied and shared.

It's time to break generational trauma cycles. If this resonates with you research gentle parenting & peaceful parenting to build a relationship built on trust, love and guidance. Nonviolent Communication & the OFNR approach gives you an exact noscript to start communicating in a loving open way.

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The Messenger of Allāh صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said:

“A man’s status will be raised in Paradise and he will ask: 'Where did this come from, How did I deserve this?' It will be said (to him): 'By your son's prayers, who sought forgiveness for you.”

Saheeh al-Jāmi' 1617 | Shaykh al-Albāni رحمه الله | Saheeh

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ:

إنَّ الرجُلَ لَتُرْفَعُ درجتُهُ في الجنةِ فيقولُ : أنَّى لِي هذا؟ فيُقالُ: بِاستغفارِ ولَدِكَ لَكَ

صحيح الجامع ١٦١٧ | الشيخ الألباني رحمه الله | صحيح

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